A girl strangely un-follows me on Twitter after two and a half years and no issues . Confused as to what life is telling me

[Now_And_Then]

I am a member of a Twitter Star Wars community and had been following a mixed race girl ( Not sure how old she is , but she is at least mid 30's } and she had been following me since around May 2018

Up until last year , we would always be communicating in threads and I would often tag her in threads of my own . She is very friendly and in no way arrogant or nasty . I had started to like her quite a lot in a really innocent way . I think she is married , so it was in no way any thing romantic as such

Last year { February 2019 } I sent her a long message in P M telling her how much I admired her personality , but told her it was only in a friendly way . There was absolutely nothing romantic or having any hint of hitting on her in the message . I know that it was random and odd in the way I did that , but she seemed to take it fine and told me "no worries " when I apologised . I never private messaged her after that about the sub ject and for a while , she still responded to my comments on her posts and liked my posts I tagged her in . Last Christmas { December 2019 } , I tagged her in a happy Christmas post and she responded to that too

But on New Years , she ignored my Happy New Year post when I tagged her and when I asked her in Private Message if I had done any thing wrong , she responded " No , not at all " that she just did not see my post . I left it at that and up until today , had not sent her a private message since , not have I commented on her posts hardly . I did not want to look like a creep

I continued to tag her along with other people in threads I created , but since January , she has never liked or responded to them . But I have not asked her why or sent her any private message . She has no reason to have any hostility to me

Today , after I tagged her in a post about 4 hours ago , she un-followed me . The reason I think it is strange is that since my first long private message { February 2019 } to her last year telling her how much I admired her .... the decline in communicating with me went down slowly .... like she at first still responded to me when I commented on her posts , { and I did not often comment on her posts after that P M } .... and she also liked some of my posts where I tagged her .... she then told me there was no problem when I asked her THE ONCE about the New Year post and why she ignored it .... I never messaged her since that .... she then stops responding to my comments on her posts and only likes them .... but stops liking the posts I tag her in . She then finally un-follows me today after tagging her in a Star Wars post

I also have not posted any thing in my time line that would cause any hostility

I have hardly communited with her since that first private message in February 2019

It was not like I harassed her in any way


After recent thoughts and issues , I just feel weird and have a hunch that life is trying to tell me some thing that is not good about my self or my life

 

[dropdeadfred]

People are such layered creatures. The thing that comes to mind to me is that she is no longer interested in Twittership with you & didn't want to hurt your feelings by directly saying so. Knowing people, it also could be an action to get a reaction from you. Who knows with people.
Anyway, it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong & you weren't pushy from what you mentioned. I would suggest you don't blame yourself & just let her go.

 

[Aap]

From an outside observer, it is Interesting that you recall posts she didn't tag and recall a PM from nearly a year ago. My personal read of you recounting everything comes off as slightly creepy.

in normal discourse between two people online, one doesn't need to worry about "being a creep" or state "it was not like I harassed her in any way." The fact you made such a lengthy post about someone you barely communicated with on twitter unfollowing you is also interesting.

I don't know whether you did anything wrong or not. I do know this is similar to a pattern that repeats over and over again of guy liking girl online, wanting more interaction, girl finds it unwanted (or in some way off putting), and guy spends too much time rationalizing why she shouldn't have done that.

What is the universe telling you? In the best case, she didn't want to follow you. In the worst, perhaps your intentions were not perceived in the manner you intended.

 

[Now_And_Then]

From an outside observer, it is Interesting that you recall posts she didn't tag and recall a PM from nearly a year ago. My personal read of you recounting everything comes off as slightly creepy.

in normal discourse between two people online, one doesn't need to worry about "being a creep" or state "it was not like I harassed her in any way." The fact you made such a lengthy post about someone you barely communicated with on twitter unfollowing you is also interesting.

I don't know whether you did anything wrong or not. I do know this is similar to a pattern that repeats over and over again of guy liking girl online, wanting more interaction, girl finds it unwanted (or in some way off putting), and guy spends too much time rationalizing why she shouldn't have done that.

What is the universe telling you? In the best case, she didn't want to follow you. In the worst, perhaps your intentions were not perceived in the manner you intended.

I do not recall the exact posts she did not like or dis-like , but I have a tag list saved from two years back so when I copy and paste it from my key board saved pins , her handle is on there along with the other guys . And obviously I know when any one likes or replies to a comment I make to their posts or any tagged thread as it comes up in the notifications

I only ever sent her three private messages in two and a half years { one is where she told me I had won a prize from a live stream she was a moderator on } , so that is how I can remember that . I only ever saw her as a friend , but saw an innocence in her that I found refreshing . In the dark world I am in mentally , I guess I acted in a way I normally wouldn't when I told her in that P M

The reason I made a lengthy post is because lately , I really do feel life is turning against me because I have been so lack lustre for so long .... I have a bad history of no confidence and feeling dis-liked , since I was a child , and when she un-followed me today , I was kind of stunned as we used to get on so well and all the really un-comfortable thoughts kicked in for a while . On the most part , there is never any issue in that community

I should have been more clear

 

[omoidarui]

she had been following me since around May 2018

its weird you remember the date tho

i don't think you should've sent her a long message unless you were besties, that connotes you wanted something more than casual friendship in my opinion.

i'm trying to be tactful and honest at the same time but if u engage too much people might think you're... well kind've a virgin, sorry

 

[Squiddy]

People are weird. I've been unfriended for no reason by a couple of people over the years on Facebook. I just say "oh well, the trash took itself out"

 

[Now_And_Then]

its weird you remember the date tho

i don't think you should've sent her a long message unless you were besties, that connotes you wanted something more than casual friendship in my opinion.

i'm trying to be tactful and honest at the same time but if u engage too much people might think you're... well a complete virgin, sorry

I remember the time of year because that is when I started following members of the certain Star Wars community on Twitter . I said around May , it foydk have been March , April , June .... but the Last Jedi had just come out a few months before and I wanted to share opinions with other people who also hated the movie


I definitely did not want some thing more , I was just going through a hard time and wanted to thank her for being such a great person


And no I am not a virgin , I was just reaching out

But I do regret sending that . But I am not really thst up set now , just a little .... baffled after so long .... why un-follow me now and not back then when I first sent the message

 

[All washed up]

Why have you mentioned that she's mixed raced?
What possible relevance would this have?

 

[hoping to lose hope]

Op maybe you have trouble picking up on social cues and how best to handle conversations.
What you felt was normal and fine could have come off a different way to her depending on how you communicated.
Please do not worry at all about this it means nothing in reality.
Maybe you could learn from the experience.

 

[Now_And_Then]

Why have you mentioned that she's mixed raced?
What possible relevance would this have?

Just to try and describe her , I was going to edit it out , but I just tried and the edit option disappears after a day

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

I am a member of a Twitter Star Wars community and had been following a mixed race girl ( Not sure how old she is , but she is at least mid 30's } and she had been following me since around May 2018

Up until last year , we would always be communicating in threads and I would often tag her in threads of my own . She is very friendly and in no way arrogant or nasty . I had started to like her quite a lot in a really innocent way . I think she is married , so it was in no way any thing romantic as such

Last year { February 2019 } I sent her a long message in P M telling her how much I admired her personality , but told her it was only in a friendly way . There was absolutely nothing romantic or having any hint of hitting on her in the message . I know that it was random and odd in the way I did that , but she seemed to take it fine and told me "no worries " when I apologised . I never private messaged her after that about the sub ject and for a while , she still responded to my comments on her posts and liked my posts I tagged her in . Last Christmas { December 2019 } , I tagged her in a happy Christmas post and she responded to that too

But on New Years , she ignored my Happy New Year post when I tagged her and when I asked her in Private Message if I had done any thing wrong , she responded " No , not at all " that she just did not see my post . I left it at that and up until today , had not sent her a private message since , not have I commented on her posts hardly . I did not want to look like a creep

I continued to tag her along with other people in threads I created , but since January , she has never liked or responded to them . But I have not asked her why or sent her any private message . She has no reason to have any hostility to me

Today , after I tagged her in a post about 4 hours ago , she un-followed me . The reason I think it is strange is that since my first long private message { February 2019 } to her last year telling her how much I admired her .... the decline in communicating with me went down slowly .... like she at first still responded to me when I commented on her posts , { and I did not often comment on her posts after that P M } .... and she also liked some of my posts where I tagged her .... she then told me there was no problem when I asked her THE ONCE about the New Year post and why she ignored it .... I never messaged her since that .... she then stops responding to my comments on her posts and only likes them .... but stops liking the posts I tag her in . She then finally un-follows me today after tagging her in a Star Wars post

I also have not posted any thing in my time line that would cause any hostility

I have hardly communited with her since that first private message in February 2019

It was not like I harassed her in any way


After recent thoughts and issues , I just feel weird and have a hunch that life is trying to tell me some thing that is not good about my self or my life

People like other's posts out of politeness, especially if they were tagged in them. Since most of us are forced to feign politeness towards people we meet in everyday life, I can definitely understand that someone wants to be free from that during the time they spend online. You asked her before why she didn't like one of your posts, like it is her obligation to like them. I think she took that as a form of pressure. All of us are facing different forms of pressure IRL, who needs that online? I do not know how I would react if someone I didn't know asked me something like that, but I would definitely be annoyed and I would not forget about being annoyed. Please, whatever happens, don't ask her why she unfollowed you. Your relationship with her meant something to you. To her, you are just a nickname from Twitter. I do not mean to be harsh, but this is how I see it. I know you are not having an easy time in life, but don't allow yourself to become emotionally dependent on strangers from Twitter.

 

[hoping to lose hope]

I have a tag list saved from two years back so when I copy and paste it from my key board saved pins , her handle is on there along with the other guys . And obviously I know when any one likes or replies to a comment I make to their posts or any tagged thread as it comes up in the notifications

Why do you do this I am very curious about you OP. You seem like such a sweet man.
This is a reason I do not tend to use social media.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Maybe her husband got involved and isn't comfortable with your presence. Sucks, but it happens all the time sadly...

 

[Now_And_Then]

Why do you do this I am very curious about you OP. You seem like such a sweet man.
This is a reason I do not tend to use social media.

A few of us in the Fandom Menace Star Wars community tag other members in posts about Star Wars content , usually an article , some pictures or even a bit of trivia . I started doing the same thing when I started talking to them , so instead of having to keep typing out the handles every time I want to tag a few people , I copied a few of them and saved them in the pinned posts thing that the Swift key phone key board has

You open the key board , there is an option on the top bar that allows you to save messages or Web links in case you want to share them later

 

[hoping to lose hope]

A few of us in the Fandom Menace Star Wars community tag other members in posts about Star Wars content , usually an article , some pictures or even a bit of trivia . I started doing the same thing when I started talking to them , so instead of having to keep typing out the handles every time I want to tag a few people , I copied a few of them and saved them in the pinned posts thing that the Swift key phone key board has

You open the key board , there is an option on the top bar that allows you to save messages or Web links in case you want to share them later

You seem so knowledgeable about technology!
What did you win the star wars prize for by the way.

 

[StringPuppet]

It just sounds like she thought you were trying to be more than friends. It may have been a long time since you messaged her but some guys are persistent when it comes to things like that and she probably thought you were going to be the same way

 

[Now_And_Then]

You seem so knowledgeable about technology!
What did you win the star wars prize for by the way.

I used to watch a live stream hosted by a fellow Star Wars / movie fan , where he just talks about current movie or Star Wars events or releases , while there is a live chat under neath

I donated some money { as did others } to his channel via the live stream Super Chat where you send some money { any amount } and then ask a question if you want to

I had sent quite a few small donations over the months , so won a prize . It was thst girl who sent me a private message to let me know . I had won a copy of the Star Wars - A New Hope de-specialized edition on Blu Ray

 

[hoping to lose hope]

Can I ask you what lead you to coming to this website?
You feel sad and unfulfilled in life :(

 

[Now_And_Then]

Can I ask you what lead you to coming to this website?
You feel sad and unfulfilled in life :(

It would be to complicated to describe in a single post , but my mind and life has been a hot mess since I was a teenager . I lost out on a proper up bringing and I severely am mentally messed up

It is very hard to describe and I do not think I would ever be able to . I do not have the desire or the will to try out any thing in life as I see life as corrupt

It is very hard to detail

 

[Chupacabra 44]

I would not take it as a sign whatsoever regarding what some woman from Star Wars Twitter did or didn't do to you concerning following you or unfollowing you. The universe is not communicating to you through such a passive, indirect method. If the universe is going to give you signs, then it's going to be way more in your face than this.

Dont question yourself over this any more is my recommendation. Strike it up to her issues and her motives neither of which you're ever going to know. Best to move on.

 

[hoping to lose hope]

It would be to complicated to describe in a single post , but my mind and life has been a hot mess since I was a teenager . I lost out on a proper up bringing and I severely am mentally messed up

It is very hard to describe and I do not think I would ever be able to . I do not have the desire or the will to try out any thing in life as I see life as corrupt

It is very hard to detail

I see you have decided and that is ok we are not trying to make anyone think anything they do not want to think here.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

She'd been decreasing interaction for quite some time, and now she's made a definitive choice to end contact. Maybe it had something to do with you, but ultimately, it's about her and what she chooses to do in her own life, including who she has contact with or not.

Having been on both sides, it never feels good to be rejected, nor does it feel comfortable or good to reject, but sometimes it feels very appropriate to release a connection that doesn't serve, and trust that the other person is an adult and capable of managing their own uncomfortable feelings about it. Rejection simply is difficult but oftentimes necessary. Sometimes one asks for the reason for the rejection, and the other person is uncomfortable giving it, is incapable of being that direct, or is unwilling to be direct about it for any variety of reasons. Sometimes one is direct about it but no matter how they say it, it will not be well received. This stuff is not easy on either side! It's uncomfortable, and I envy anyone who can figure out how to smoothly manage either rejecting or being rejected. I think sometimes we want and need closure, but we're not going to like it no matter how it's presented simply because it is an ending we did not initiate or want.

It may feel catastrophic, but really it's not. It often feels hugely magnified on both sides. More manageably, it's an opportunity to look back and reflect, to learn and make adjustments moving forward, but sometimes one needs the distance of time first to be able to do that and for the emotions to lose their strong immediate charges. I gently and respectfully suggest you try not to beat up on yourself or go into catastrophic mode, and give yourself some time to process in a way that makes you more capable moving forward rather than beating you down.

Sending compassion and respect.

 

[hoping to lose hope]

She'd been decreasing interaction for quite some time, and now she's made a definitive choice to end contact. Maybe it had something to do with you,

He never knew her though she just msg him once to say he won a DVD and then he sent huge message.
Op is sweet misunderstood man too pure for this world.
I love your posts and detail but I giggled as this one is fairly straightforward

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

She may have felt you were "orbiting" and become turned off by things becoming slightly more serious in terms of how frequently you messaged or tagged her. If I had a nickel for every time I've experienced that I'd be like a nickel millionaire.

For reasons unknown to me, women tend to dislike predictability. I've found that if they can more or less dictate how things will proceed, they will often go cold. Not a criticism on women at all as I continue to find them fascinating creatures, just an honest observation.

But ultimately, who really knows? She could have just become bored with Twitter or narrowed down her friend list to those she's super familiar or close with in real life, for instance.

Either way, sorry about your luck.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

He never knew her though she just msg him once to say he won a DVD and then he sent huge message.
Op is sweet misunderstood man too pure for this world.
I love your posts and detail but I giggled as this one is fairly straightforward

Um, is it offensive to giggle back? I'm not really motivated to, though. Not that they had a relationship beyond anything shallow, but there were three PM communications, and the whole history of comments and responses, shares and likes. If I recall correctly, the first PM was before the DVD. Just sayin'. *shrug*

 

[hoping to lose hope]

For reasons unknown to me, women tend to dislike predictability

umm actually it depends on the woman and based on communication alone it is all social skills.

 

[TooConscious]

You are going through a rollercoaster of emotions even though to some it seems trivial.
But the first two posters really did some up the situation.
You don't want to be taking it out of context.
From personal experience I've made a fool of myself because after I met a male friends girl who is a friend I felt she could be my friend simply because she was sharing the time we were discussing our problems, mostly mine because I had alot of advice needed to be given. I got intoxicated and felt it was acceptable to add her as a friend on social media, along with sending maybe thousands of words lets just say ten pages.
Lets just say I heard she wasn't pleased. And my male friend has since distanced himself. I wasn't hitting on her just people don't want to hear too much from people who are being too self involved.
Good luck moving on mate, at the end of the day try to look at it 7 billion of us each doing similar things at least once in our lives each day.

Um, is it offensive to giggle back? I'm not really motivated to, though. Not that they had a relationship beyond anything shallow, but there were three PM communications, and the whole history of comments and responses, shares and likes. If I recall correctly, the first PM was before the DVD. Just sayin'. *shrug*

I saw that, unnecessaryily patronising, does she want to give the guy hope like he could be her knight in shining armour "too pure for this world". Poor OP will go through the same again now.

 

[Now_And_Then]

I see you have decided and that is ok we are not trying to make anyone think anything they do not want to think here.

Thank you

 

[hoping to lose hope]

Thank you

I know that you are not considering to CTB because of this twitter girl and it is just another thing that upset you but I hope you can find a friend or gf whatever you feel you need to enjoy life.

 

[Now_And_Then]

Um, is it offensive to giggle back? I'm not really motivated to, though. Not that they had a relationship beyond anything shallow, but there were three PM communications, and the whole history of comments and responses, shares and likes. If I recall correctly, the first PM was before the DVD. Just sayin'. *shrug*

Actually , the prize winner message came before I sent her the long message

But like you said , there were only ever three interactions via the private message between me and her and I left it like that on purpose . I was a idiot for sending that , but like the other poster said here , it can be a lesson learned for me