NSFW A day full of new experiences

[lonergirl_26]

I've been dating someone for about 3 months today we met in person for the first time. I was so scared but knew I had to do it. Anyway we hung out and ended up having sex. It was my first time at everything. First Kiss and first time. I was very nervous and I know he was as well. I bled a lot, mind you the sheets were white, but he was very good with me. Put me in the shower and washed me. We spent a lot of time cuddling and kissing. I had fun and felt at peace.
But then he made a comment about no talks of suicide or plans. I have expressed my feelings with him before.
He wanted me to promise no more talk of it. I said I'd try the best I can. I will try. It just made me feel weird that he doesn't truly understand that these thoughts aren't going to go away

 

[whybother2002]

They probably will never go away — you're right about that. But I feel like it's possible to reach a certain state where these thoughts won't bother you like before and you will live without this ctb cloud, just like how you felt at ease with him. I'm no pro-lifer and I'm not undermining your suffering, which I know nothing about. I'm happy that you got to experience this and was peaceful at least for a moment.

 

[Macedonian1987]

Sadly if suicidal thoughts are in someone's head for a long time, it's very unlikely that they are ever going to go away. I have them on and off since 2003, with the last 5 years mostly on.

I'm glad you had a good first time. I still remember mine like it was yeaterday. The person with whom i did it with was a good person, too bad the relationahip lasted so briefly. All good things in life last very briefly.

 

[fromange]

That's a very sweet story. He seems like a lovely guy. I'm sorry about him pushing you off in that way though. At the end of the day, you can't expect others to understand you. I hope things go well!