PLEASE READ before attempting this method.
This is a lengthy read and if you want the short version..."trust me, you dont want to go through this...it is not hell...not peaceful".
Hey there, i literally rushed to make a profile because i saw your post and wanted to chime in.
And apologies if i say something that i shouldn't, meaning, i dont know all the rules yet but seeing post after post with abbreviations up the wahzoo(whatever the fuck a wahzoo is) and a definite lack of certain words that i would expect to see on a site/forum such as this...i dont know what the "no, no's" are quite yet.
I will share my experience with a huge filled Nitrogen tank. By the way i royally suck at summarizing, so bare with me.
A couple years after my first strong attempt to disappear from this life, i decided to do some research because i definitely didnt want to fail again but also i didnt want to suffer, be in the ICU on life support and then have to deal with a lengthy recovery all over again.
This time i was aiming for quick, easy, soft, gentle and to drift away and i kept reading other sites and people who kept saying Nitrogen is the way to go, yet no one had provided any experiences- just what they have read and researched themselves.
So anyways, i read a lot more "positives than negatives" post after post after post.
Needless to say i went to a welding shop and rented a tank of Nitrogen.
This tank was a biggy, unfortunately i cannot recall the exact size but standing it up, it came to about my upper chest, maybe more, and i am 6' 1". Anyways, it costed about $30ish give or take.
Went into the store, told them my boss wanted me to come pick up a tank of Nitrogen for welding and there wasnt much else to it, took about 5ish min.
You see, i told you suck at summarizing....ok, to the point.
I crammed the tank into my crappy Toyota Camry and drove around looking for a quiet place.
I locked all the doors, disconnected the locking mechanisms inside each door, taped and carefully covered all of the vents, possible gaps, etc etc etc. Basically was trying to make it as airtight as i could while also making it a huge pain in the ass to escape.
I was ready.
I cranked the valve open and was immediately met with a deafening sound of the immense pressure trying to escape the tank and how cold it got inside the car.
I then reclined my seat and stuck my head about 1'-2' away from the howling tank and i just tried focusing on relaxing (as much as i could), big slow deep breaths and was excitedly and anxiously awaiting sleepy time and for things to slow down, come into focus, be at peace and to be no more.
Well obviously since i am sharing this, it didnt quite work out that way. Everything i mentioned and experienced was accurate to the T...everything except i never got to experience the calming, slowing down and drifting away that i have read sooo much about and was told and "guaranteed" that that is how it's going to go.
No.....uhh uhh...quite the opposite in fact. I stayed in my sealed up Camry for.... about 20ish+ minutes and it royally sucked. The exact feeling/sensation that i experienced was a very slow onset of feeling out of breath and then panic, sucking, gasping for air, body and arms flailing about.
No matter how head strong and dedicated i was, i couldnt compete with this damn body's will to live (that fucker).
Yes i probably should've zip tied my hands to the steering wheel but am glad....in a way that i didnt. Not glad because i am still alive, but glad that i didnt have to go out in a complete freak out overstressed panic of suffering.
So...after further research i learned that i should have learned more about the process and after reading actual science research and how this way to go is very much NOT a walk in the park and how the body reacts to too much or too little of certain gasses that enter the system, etc etc.
So, it is obviously in your hands and your call. But i knew that i had to make a profile on here and reply asap with my experience and the myth of a calming way to go. I just dont want you to have to go through that, especially when it's your last moments.
Sorry for the huge comment, but i did give a fair warning that i am no editor.
Good luck and am interested to hear where you go from here.