A Comforting Obsession

[ProChoiExistential]

Hello, I have been a lurker for a little while with no posts, so I would call myself new to SS. When i start getting the strong urge to CTB, I come here and it is the only way I can get comfort. Knowing there is a peaceful way right around the corner is so relieving. I am back to dwelling and isolating. Reading other peoples' stories, ideas, and thoughts just helps. For the longest time, if I were to even talk about this with anyone, it was always the classic responses we all know of. Coming to SS is like my forbidden and hidden obsession. Whats odd is that the most comforting posts are the plans and discussion of how. The mutual desires and community.
My question is, does anyone else feel this way? I feel as if Im stuck in pergatory. I have been making a plan for so long but then you get one shimmer of light with a fulfilling social interaction or experience. But shortly after I am back to this feeling of dread and tiredness.

 

[stoiccactus]

Very much same. I find the goodbye posts to be the most comforting, like knowing that others are at least finding their escape, gives me some hope that I may find some quiet someday.

 

[chronicallybroken]

I feel the same, including the glimmer of light with regards to social interactions. But I end up feeling profoundly alone and defective and knowing I have to CTB

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, I'm so grateful for this place. To have some kind of social interaction that is honest and not just small talk.

It's comforting to be around like-minded people- although it's sad that we all share such unhappy minds.

The goodbye threads are especially poignant- I agree. A whole mixture of emotions. There's a selfish part of me that feels sad to see them go. Also feel sad for the way life has brought them to this point. Then I remind myself that I am absolutely pro-choice and I feel relieved that they are reaching the end of their struggle.

It's going to sound so strange because I know a lot of 'normal' people find sites like these abominable but I find the conversations here to be for the most part very reassuring. We're not all encouraging one another to kill ourselves. We try and support one another in the best way we can- to try and get through life a bit longer if that is possible or to pass peacefully if not.

 

[foreverfalling]

Yes I was amazed seeing a thread of someone go while being supported compassionately by someone here, asking them how they are and not to rush it. If I had that kind of support in real life I may even want to live...

 

[Hollowillow]

Hello, I have been a lurker for a little while with no posts, so I would call myself new to SS. When i start getting the strong urge to CTB, I come here and it is the only way I can get comfort. Knowing there is a peaceful way right around the corner is so relieving. I am back to dwelling and isolating. Reading other peoples' stories, ideas, and thoughts just helps. For the longest time, if I were to even talk about this with anyone, it was always the classic responses we all know of. Coming to SS is like my forbidden and hidden obsession. Whats odd is that the most comforting posts are the plans and discussion of how. The mutual desires and community.
My question is, does anyone else feel this way? I feel as if Im stuck in pergatory. I have been making a plan for so long but then you get one shimmer of light with a fulfilling social interaction or experience. But shortly after I am back to this feeling of dread and tiredness.

So much. I tried my hardest to fix my problems but was left to die... I ended up agreeing. This place is so validating. If doctors were as kind & good teachers as people here, no one would be sick, pharma would be bankrupt, companies wouldn't make billions. Oh the horror of a happy community. I wish I could see it. Maybe next life.

 

[ChoclateIsSweet]

I'm definitely more of a lurker in this site, under 30 post in over 2 years, because I find more comfort in reading others experience than sharing my own. I believe this has made people feel more understood and just seen without judgement or the initial reaction of, "Don't kill yourself life is beautiful."

This is a pro-choice website not a pro-suicide, methods are given but people aren't actively encouraged to catch the bus.

 

[FuneralCry]

The only thing that brings me comfort is the thought of no longer existing. I get no relief or comfort from this website as it just reminds me how difficult suicide is for me. I am still alive as I fear the method failing. I think that to me, suicide forums should never need to exist, the society should just allow us the option of euthanasia and nobody should ever have to do complicated suicide research on the internet and there would be no endless method discussions.

Whenever I hear of someone leaving this world, I always envy them. They are lucky as they cannot suffer anymore. To me, non existence will always be preferable to living and to peacefully exit this world is the best thing possible.