leeloosnow
Warlock
- Aug 28, 2022
- 725
Tonight I'm thinking about those who are no longer with us. The friends left this life of their own accord, ones that lost their battle with addiction, ones that blinked out of existence from diseases and accidents. For those of us who choose freely choose our path I'm overwhelmed with this unsettling juxtaposition of selfish sadness for the loss of their light I once knew, and feelings of consolatory peace for the alleviation of their suffering. Yet still there is a nagging anger at this world for having been so cruel that someone I cared about, even if only for a brief moment of friendship, had no better option. I am angry at society for not only acting with such violent discimination towards my LGBT friends, for applauding hatred and turning a blind eye to suffering. And then they have the audacity to ask why. Thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers, yet never an open hand of kindness nor a moment of silence to ask themselves how we as a society could do better. For those of us burdened with addictions, we're condemned, ostracized, and incriminated for an disease we can't heal alone. A loosing hand of genetic and social factors condemn the addict yet that is the person's fault, in society's eyes, while other diseases such as cancer, heart disease, diabetes are treated with medical care and community support. We allow our corporate overlords to act in negligence with fatal consequence and it's swept under the rug. How much does a life cost, I'd really like to know, because clearly lobbyists are buying lives every day. The inequality of it all is what I have issue with. Sometimes I feel consumed with all these emotions and utterly impotent to resolve the causes of them. I hope that in my remaining days I can do something to remember these souls and to honor their lives. Just some small notion or action of the beauty that once was, an effort to ease those to endure similar circumstances. Some days I want to scream with rage in the faces of the powers that be, I want to burn it all to the ground, and then reality settles in that I am still only myself, by myself. In a short time I'll be forgotten, whatever work I've done and impact I've had will become irrelevant, but my eyes are open. I will look for places I can honor those lives, diffuse my frustration. I know my efforts will be near trivial on the grand scale but if I can make things just a little better, for a brief moment, even for one living soul, then it is worthwhile
