Discussion A brief introduction and why I want to ctb

[throwaway_2620]

Hi everyone, I haven't properly introduced myself yet or explained why I want to ctb, so without further ado, I'm ready to introduce myself.

I'm a 26 year old male from Australia who was diagnosed with autism and depression. I'm currently unemployed and on a disability support pension. A few years ago, I was forced to go through a traumatic psych ward experience (I don't want to go into detail about what happened, but that experience made me more suicidal than I was before I was committed and I had to lie to a psychiatrist to get out of there after spending a couple days in the psych ward) and since then I've lost all faith in the psychiatric system, hence why I refuse to see mental health professionals or seek therapy. I also avoid mental health professionals because I don't want any more diagnoses (e.g. anxiety) because once you're diagnosed with something, it stays on your record for the rest of your life. I refuse to get on SSRIs because the way I see it, they don't fix the root causes of your problems, only mask the symptoms, besides, they can potentially come with unwanted side effects and I personally don't want to take that risk.

Without further ado, I'm now ready to list the reasons for why I want to ctb.

• I've got autism.
• I had a traumatic psych ward experience in the past.
• I have recurring depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts.
• Although I'm currently unemployed and on a disability support pension, I don't want to face the prospect of wage-slaving for a system I don't support (with the possible threat of eventually having my benefits stopped if I don't work).
• I don't want to go through the ageing process (and possibly develop chronic health problems) when I'm older, nor do I want to get old.
• I've got body image issues.

As I already mentioned in one of my previous threads (torn between ctb and staying), I have my metoclopramide, zantac and SN (plus some leftover diazepam for anxiety and sedation and some benadryl in case I get EPS symptoms from the meto during my 48 hour regimen). I'm still torn between ctb and giving life another chance. I want to ctb, but I'm reluctant to because I don't want to hurt my family and friends, which is partly why I'm torn. For those who haven't seen that thread, here it is.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/torn-between-ctb-and-staying.22943/

 

[Mm80]

Can I ask why the 1st reason for ctb is autism? Not a trick question im in the verge of a likely diagnosis and would like to know your thoughts. Thanks

 

[throwaway_2620]

Can I ask why the 1st reason for ctb is autism? Not a trick question I'm on the verge of a likely diagnosis and would like to know your thoughts. Thanks

To answer your question, the reasons I listed aren't in any particular order. To clarify, having autism is not the main reason why I want to ctb, but it's one of them.

 

[Mm80]

To answer your question, the reasons I listed aren't in any particular order. To clarify, having autism is not the main reason why I want to ctb, but it's one of them.

OK. Just want to know why autism is a reason. I get my results on Tues (UK) and I think I agree. Just want a perspective on it.

 

[throwaway_2620]

OK. Just want to know why autism is a reason. I get my results on Tues (UK) and I think I agree. Just want a perspective on it.

Because from my point of view, it sucks having autism because of lack of social skills, being more prone to depression and anxiety, being perceived as eccentric, etc, besides, I hate feeling like an outcast in social situations.

 

[theguineapigking]

Hey man. I'm sorry that your life is so hard. I had a form of autism when I was younger(still have it some but I've changed in the last few years especially. I'm 21 now). I would have so much trouble telling if someone was serious or joking. I got confused and couldn't verbally communicate very well. I had speech issues and couldn't really talk much until I was 6.


I also have mitochondrial disease which causes fatigue,brain fog,migraine,dizziness,etc. So I totally get wanting to die.I understand being torn between suicide and living for your family. I think that's really the primary reason I'm alive still. As I type this,I'm exhausted after sleeping 9 or so hours. I want to go partially hang myself tonight. But I keep not doing it because I think about my family.





If you want to talk more at all,I'm here for you dude. I was giving info on my medical issues so you could see my physical reasons too. I can understand how hard it is to deal with this crap in society.



Feel free to reply or talk about whatever.

 

[throwaway_2620]

Hey man. I'm sorry that your life is so hard. I had a form of autism when I was younger (still have it some but I've changed in the last few years especially. I'm 21 now). I would have so much trouble telling if someone was serious or joking. I got confused and couldn't verbally communicate very well. I had speech issues and couldn't really talk much until I was 6.

I also have mitochondrial disease which causes fatigue, brain fog, migraine, dizziness, etc. So I totally get wanting to die. I understand being torn between suicide and living for your family. I think that's really the primary reason I'm alive still. As I type this, I'm exhausted after sleeping 9 or so hours. I want to go partially hang myself tonight. But I keep not doing it because I think about my family.

If you want to talk more at all, I'm here for you dude. I was giving info on my medical issues so you could see my physical reasons too. I can understand how hard it is to deal with this crap in society.

Feel free to reply or talk about whatever.

Thank you so much for your support and understanding, it means a lot to me. I'm sorry about your autism and mitochondrial disease. You're more than welcome to hit me up for a chat anytime.

 

[Mm80]

Because from my point of view, it sucks having autism because of lack of social skills, being more prone to depression and anxiety, being perceived as eccentric, etc, besides, I hate feeling like an outcast in social situations.

Thank you that's all I wanted to know. I get it too.

 

[Anon2662]

Hi everyone, I haven't properly introduced myself yet or explained why I want to ctb, so without further ado, I'm ready to introduce myself.

I'm a 26 year old male from Australia who was diagnosed with autism and depression. I'm currently unemployed and on a disability support pension. A few years ago, I was forced to go through a traumatic psych ward experience (I don't want to go into detail about what happened, but that experience made me more suicidal than I was before I was committed and I had to lie to a psychiatrist to get out of there after spending a couple days in the psych ward) and since then I've lost all faith in the psychiatric system, hence why I refuse to see mental health professionals or seek therapy. I also avoid mental health professionals because I don't want any more diagnoses (e.g. anxiety) because once you're diagnosed with something, it stays on your record for the rest of your life. I refuse to get on SSRIs because the way I see it, they don't fix the root causes of your problems, only mask the symptoms, besides, they can potentially come with unwanted side effects and I personally don't want to take that risk.

Without further ado, I'm now ready to list the reasons for why I want to ctb.

• I've got autism.
• I had a traumatic psych ward experience in the past.
• I have recurring depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts.
• Although I'm currently unemployed and on a disability support pension, I don't want to face the prospect of wage-slaving for a system I don't support (with the possible threat of eventually having my benefits stopped if I don't work).
• I don't want to go through the ageing process (and possibly develop chronic health problems) when I'm older, nor do I want to get old.
• I've got body image issues.

As I already mentioned in one of my previous threads (torn between ctb and staying), I have my metoclopramide, zantac and SN (plus some leftover diazepam for anxiety and sedation and some benadryl in case I get EPS symptoms from the meto during my 48 hour regimen). I'm still torn between ctb and giving life another chance. I want to ctb, but I'm reluctant to because I don't want to hurt my family and friends, which is partly why I'm torn. For those who haven't seen that thread, here it is.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/torn-between-ctb-and-staying.22943/

I know you've posted before, but as this is your 'introduce yourself' post, firstly welcome! Secondly, I can relate to so much of your post. I'm 26, unemployed, have depression amongst other stuff going on and have had a traumatic psych ward experience and now won't have contact with any professionals at all. I don't have autism though, but I imagine that's really tough.
If you ever need to talk, I'm happy to listen :)

 

[throwaway_2620]

I know you've posted before, but as this is your 'introduce yourself' post, firstly welcome! Secondly, I can relate to so much of your post. I'm 26, unemployed, have depression amongst other stuff going on and have had a traumatic psych ward experience and now won't have contact with any professionals at all. I don't have autism though, but I imagine that's really tough.
If you ever need to talk, I'm happy to listen :)

Thank you for your kind welcome, support and understanding, I appreciate it.

 

[faust]

Hello, I am sorry you are facing these problems in your life...
Wage-slaving is of course another problem which makes it harder to exist.
I don't trust the system anymore because of a decent amount of information and personal experience.
You can always give a life another chance if you are feeling up to.
When I gave myself 5 years ago, it was a very nice experience.
Sending you peace and love

 

[TAW122]

I'm sorry about your suffering and I'm in similar boats too. I am currently unemployed and the welfare system is less developed in the US than it is in Australia, requiring serious disability to even qualify (SSI - supplemental security income). On top of that, the mental health system is just as bad as the one in Australia (maybe worse in some aspects, depending on who you ask). The worst part is that once the patient is discharged, they are hit with a huge medical bill for services they never consented to (were coerced to rather). While I have never been on a psych hold myself, I have read numerous stories both on the Internet and articles detailing how bad it is. I too, refuse to support a system and society that sanctions this type of practice and holds values antithetical towards full bodily autonomy.

 

[throwaway_2620]

Hello, I am sorry you are facing these problems in your life...
Wage-slaving is of course another problem which makes it harder to exist.
I don't trust the system anymore because of a decent amount of information and personal experience.
You can always give a life another chance if you are feeling up to.
When I gave myself 5 years ago, it was a very nice experience.
Sending you peace and love

Thank you so much for your support, I really appreciate it. I don't trust the system either. It's reassuring to know I can either ctb or stay and give life another chance and that my choice will be respected either way.

I'm sorry about your suffering and I'm in similar boats too. I am currently unemployed and the welfare system is less developed in the US than it is in Australia, requiring serious disability to even qualify (SSI - supplemental security income). On top of that, the mental health system is just as bad as the one in Australia (maybe worse in some aspects, depending on who you ask). The worst part is that once the patient is discharged, they are hit with a huge medical bill for services they never consented to (were coerced to rather). While I have never been on a psych hold myself, I have read numerous stories both on the Internet and articles detailing how bad it is. I too, refuse to support a system and society that sanctions this type of practice and holds values antithetical towards full bodily autonomy.

Thank you so much for your kind support, I really appreciate it. It sucks it requires serious disability to qualify for SSI in the US. As for the fact mental health patients in the US are hit with a huge medical bill for services they never consented to, I think that's pretty fucked up. I read a few stories and articles on the internet regarding psych wards myself. As for what you said about refusing to support a system and society that sanctions this type of practice and holds values antithetical towards full bodily autonomy, I refuse to support such a system as well.

 

[ctbUniquectb]

Can I ask why the 1st reason for ctb is autism? Not a trick question im in the verge of a likely diagnosis and would like to know your thoughts. Thanks

Because life with autism isn't worth living.

Come at me, cops watching this thread. I'll own this one in court.

 

[Mm80]

Because life with autism isn't worth living.

Come at me, cops watching this thread. I'll own this one in court.

I think the same. Just wanted clarification