Mr Myemna
Let me say words naked as flesh, tough as teeth.
- Aug 20, 2022
- 35
I started going back down the memory lane recently, it's hard remembering those experiences again, so i'm struggling to articulate them, i'll be more articulate and go further in another time, for now. here:
since the very young myself i was in so much pain
and well it was the kind of pain that you can slightly mitigate by excessive stimulation
things like you know running around, imagining things, watching a colourful cartoon or show, a videogame
and so things you know went by, i could get by in school since those levels were easy
i could you know get by and be able to stimulate myself so i don't break down
i wasn't really allowed to engage in you know out of school activities
my life was from the school and then constant stimulation so i don't tear apart
so yeah as i grew up it was less and less expected of me to act out these impulses, i would get beaten and lectured if i play excessively.
and well i started to get paranoid, i would desperately look for openings to be alone and you know that pent up stress and pain that i was feeling
so you know, one would beat us up, the other would emotionally coerce us into satisfying their shortcomings
and umm, that was exacerbated since i was a house kid, i wouldn't go outside very often, i couldn't act out my impulses
and to that add that i was a very weak child, physically, i would get sick often, other kids would beat me up often
and that led to me being neglected in some way, because well, grown-up who invest in teaching kids new skills want kids who are already good at something, at least with average physical or mental capacities
and if they take you under their wing, your genetically or environmentally causes inadequacies will be blamed on them
and that's a bad thing for their name
oh yeah and i forgot to tell you, because of that weakened body of mine
i had weak bladder muscles, which meant i constantly wet myself, especially at night
and my mother was not okay with that, like it made her really mad
she already complained of having to take care of two kids, she didn't want one which wet themselves
so whenever it happened to me she got really angry
she would take me to the shower, remove my clothes and spray me with cold water while beating senseless until i was groveling on the cold floor puking whatever i swallowed earlier
thank you for taking time to read that word salad, i'll answer any question you can come up with down here.
since the very young myself i was in so much pain
and well it was the kind of pain that you can slightly mitigate by excessive stimulation
things like you know running around, imagining things, watching a colourful cartoon or show, a videogame
and so things you know went by, i could get by in school since those levels were easy
i could you know get by and be able to stimulate myself so i don't break down
i wasn't really allowed to engage in you know out of school activities
my life was from the school and then constant stimulation so i don't tear apart
so yeah as i grew up it was less and less expected of me to act out these impulses, i would get beaten and lectured if i play excessively.
and well i started to get paranoid, i would desperately look for openings to be alone and you know that pent up stress and pain that i was feeling
so you know, one would beat us up, the other would emotionally coerce us into satisfying their shortcomings
and umm, that was exacerbated since i was a house kid, i wouldn't go outside very often, i couldn't act out my impulses
and to that add that i was a very weak child, physically, i would get sick often, other kids would beat me up often
and that led to me being neglected in some way, because well, grown-up who invest in teaching kids new skills want kids who are already good at something, at least with average physical or mental capacities
and if they take you under their wing, your genetically or environmentally causes inadequacies will be blamed on them
and that's a bad thing for their name
oh yeah and i forgot to tell you, because of that weakened body of mine
i had weak bladder muscles, which meant i constantly wet myself, especially at night
and my mother was not okay with that, like it made her really mad
she already complained of having to take care of two kids, she didn't want one which wet themselves
so whenever it happened to me she got really angry
she would take me to the shower, remove my clothes and spray me with cold water while beating senseless until i was groveling on the cold floor puking whatever i swallowed earlier
thank you for taking time to read that word salad, i'll answer any question you can come up with down here.
