Discussion 6-Week-Old an Orphan After Both Parents Die by Suicide

[Insomniac]

am I judging if I think that parents like this are the worst? she should have ended it while the baby still in her belly to save the poor soul from a life of nothing but violent and suffocating waves.

I just can't deal with suicidal parents of minors. how is the kid supposed to survive on it's own? ah yes, someone else is gonna take care of it...yes? so you're going to IMPOSE your child's life on another innocent person who never asked for anything and now that person is going to have to makes HUGES sacrifices to take care of your mistake for you? raising a child is absolutely fucking draining, even more draining if it's not your own. and the chances for this baby to grow in an emotionally abusive environment is unbelievably high. adoption in real life is very different from what they want us to believe. very very different.

great. if she had just killed herself with the baby still inside her, it'd have been more compassionate. this child has already lost his two major pillars in life and it doesn't even know how to sit. Idk if you realize the cruelty of this. It's COMPLETELY helpless, he can't even feed himself or cry properly yet, and he's abandoned to himself.

Idk why people insist on gambling with children's lives. this is called child trafficking. having a child for the mere sense of accomplishment it gives. not cool.

the parents probably rationalised it before taking their life, but some things really should not be rationalized. they are horrible people. as judgemental and single-minded as it sounds, they are horrible people.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Extremely tragic and sad

 

[dreadpirateroberts69]

That dad was a pos for killing himself, I don't blame the mom as much as if I was in her situation I would want to end things too. Having a baby alone sounds like a nightmare, but having a baby and then having your partner ctb soon after would be just completely unbearable. Still exremely irresponsible of her though. I feel guilty thinking about leaving behind my pets, I can't imagine how I'd feel leaving a child. Ugh, this world is such a shitty place. Don't have kids folks.

 

[Crazy4u]

yeah very sad. the society makes people think that they MUST have children! it is insane. I am glad younger generations are more aware of the reality of having children.

 

[RainAndSadness]

I think stories like these prove that people should be anti-natalists by default. And please don't have children if you play with the idea to end your life. I don't understand it. If you're a parent, you have to take care of your child. You brought it into the world in the first place, that means you have a responsibility. I feel for the mother though, she probably didn't expect any of that and she was left behind with a newborn. Honestly her reaction to this mess is very relatable.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Not based.

 

[Sherri]

Oh my so sad….poor little baby, hope this baby has some close relatives to take that baby home. Sigh…. This world is so sad and unfair,

 

[maakies]

Post-partum depression is a thing for both men and women. That many hormones at play and a baby in your life and if you feel pressure to have a baby… recipe for disaster. It's not as plain as "don't have children if you're not going to raise them." That requires a lot of education which given these two parents it doesn't sound like they were in a place to have that.

The child might have a rough life, sure, but we don't know that for sure yet. We'll know if they're predisposed to their parent's fates if they end up here in eighteen years.

 

[Depressed Cat]

This is so sad and truly tragic!

I'm not going to judge the parents for committing suicide one after the other. Who knows what they must have been suffering from. But it's so sad that they brought a baby into this world only to leave it orphaned at such a young age.

I hope the baby finds a loving adoptive family who raise him with love and affection that he so badly needs.

It's for reasons like this that I've chosen to be an anti-natalist.

 

[DunnoWhyButYeah]

This is probably an unpopular opinion, but I still say it. I don't think anyone has the right to condemn someone who has committed suicide. Yes, the case is tragic. Still ... You can't know what pain they've been carrying or judge if the act was easy for them. First of all, it is possible that neither of them had any idea that they were going to do that so criticizing childbirth etc is incomprehensible.

Probably only people who are themselves parents can understand that the situation has been anything but simple. I would like people to show a little more empathy.

I am a parent myself and have survived suicide. The moment I did it, I just thought everyone is better off without me now. My children are better off without me. It truly felt like it was the only and right solution because I am a person whose life only causes pain to others and I am insignificant. And it still feels like that atm, I'm not enough for anyone. These are probably familiar ideas to many of us, even those of us who have children.

I really didn't imagine when I had my kids that one day I would leave here. However, 2 times I have experienced (and survived) postpartum depression and I really know how gloomy those thoughts are. Men can get it too. I know many cases where parents have ended up ending their lives after getting sick of it, it's sad.

For me, self-destruction etc have sometimes been gone and I have been happy and wanted to live. I have believed that I have been completely healed. Then something too horrible has happened and I have collapsed. How can this be anticipated? In no way. Sorry, but I can't comprehend the opinion that children shouldn't be born into this world just because you might get depressed, etc., and you no longer see any alternative but to leave this world.

Uh and what is this that some criticize having children in general? Not everyone wants to have children, but some do. I don't think the decision to try to have a child can be understood if you think otherwise (in some cases, I'm not saying that applies to everyone who is voluntarily childless).

Everyone has a right to their opinion, however don't judge others so easily.
You seem to think like them who condemn suicide because those who did it didn't think about their loved ones enough. That's not right for any of us.

 

[Eternal_Distancing]

am I judging if I think that parents like this are the worst? she should have ended it while the baby still in her belly to save the poor soul from a life of nothing but violent and suffocating waves.

I just can't deal with suicidal parents of minors. how is the kid supposed to survive on it's own? ah yes, someone else is gonna take care of it...yes? so you're going to IMPOSE your child's life on another innocent person who never asked for anything and now that person is going to have to makes HUGES sacrifices to take care of your mistake for you? raising a child is absolutely fucking draining, even more draining if it's not your own. and the chances for this baby to grow in an emotionally abusive environment is unbelievably high. adoption in real life is very different from what they want us to believe. very very different.

great. if she had just killed herself with the baby still inside her, it'd have been more compassionate. this child has already lost his two major pillars in life and it doesn't even know how to sit. Idk if you realize the cruelty of this. It's COMPLETELY helpless, he can't even feed himself or cry properly yet, and he's abandoned to himself.

Idk why people insist on gambling with children's lives. this is called child trafficking. having a child for the mere sense of accomplishment it gives. not cool.

the parents probably rationalised it before taking their life, but some things really should not be rationalized. they are horrible people. as judgemental and single-minded as it sounds, they are horrible people.

I acknowledge your frustration for the well-being of the baby.

I disagree with you that the parents in this case are the "worst." Perhaps you were being hyperbolic out of anger, but the sad reality is there are tragedies that happen with parents involving children that make this particular tragedy a relief, even a blessing in disguise to some.

They were definitely irresponsible in their choices and pregnancy. No one will ever really know what was going through each of their minds: how they were processing how their lives would be affected and what made them want to CTB.

I think all of us here can agree CTB is a whole lot harder to do than it seems. Especially if you've made a legitimate attempt and even worse, survived and still want to CTB. I can never judge a good-natured person who struggled and wrestled with thoughts of CTB. The fact that these two didn't harm the baby is enough for me to consider them good-natured unlike other people who CTB in a manner that involves and endangers others who did not want to die.

 

[little helpers]

to me it's all a matter of intention. caregiver(s) really can't take it anymore and no solid support's been given, ctb'ed, then, can't really say nothing. anyone can commit suicide. changing the CPS is more effective than condemning parents who complete suicide.

but you also have other kinds of people. people who have children for fucking entertainment purposes. another thing I come across quite frequently on addiction forums, is people believe having a child's gonna be therapeutic. man, just kill me already. if you find strength through this, great. but kids ain't your motherfucking therapists. parents need to bring stability to their kids as much as they can, not vice versa, man.

you can be anti-natalist or whatever. I'm not aiming to be one irresponsible jerk either. but don't overlook the fact that children simply *are* being born. and care *needs* be taken no matter what.

 

[bigfishlittlefish]

And please don't have children if you play with the idea to end your life. I don't understand it. If you're a parent, you have to take care of your child. You brought it into the world in the first place, that means you have a responsibility.

Yes, but that's a lot easier to say than the reality sometimes is. I know of someone who had a child, then a few years later was going through a divorce with a massively abusive person, who drove them to try and commit suicide because they were so desperate and couldn't see any other way out. Sometimes, life just suddenly changes and things become impossible to deal with.

 

[Hirokami]

It's hard for me to shame the parents in this scenario. I don't know the circumstances which lead the father to ctb and I can't blame the mother either, considering how she lost both her lover and the father of her child. She also had to raise a baby while coping with such a loss; I can only begin to imagine how unbearable that is. Yes, in an ideal world, people who have SI wouldn't have children unless they can overcome such thoughts. However, this is not an ideal world for many.

Life is often unpredictable, years of trauma build up, and so forth. And I wouldn't doubt that many people with SI have children as they think it would give them a reason to live. In a sense, it would as they are now responsible for another human. However, having a reason isn't always enough to go on if the pain is too great.

In any case, I can only hope that child will be left in good hands, preferably by caring family members or at least close friends of the parents. Most likely, though, the child will sadly end up in the system and who knows if he'll get adopted.

 

[Insomniac]

to be clear, I'm not condemning their suicide. rather, their inability to stop themselves from having a child. these two clearly had very shaky foundations to begin with. People don't just kill themselves out of the blues, it's a a long process. they didn't just wake up one morning with post partrum depression. People take the decision to have kids so lightly that they can't even bother to plan for how to deal with things like post-partrum depression (if this is what they suffered from).

but let's not pretend to be naïve. most people who are suicidal after giving birth are people who never wanted to look at themselves in a mirror and be honest with themselves about their capabilities and ressources. It's people who relied on chance and luck, people with extremely shaky financial or emotional foundations.

I don't believe in the narrative of the suddenly suicidal. Most people know to some extent how suicidal they are or will be in specific circumstances. People who do it are people who toy with the idea from time to time, or chronically contemplate it like a lot of people here.

It's such a normalized thing to be completely irresponsible about bringing a child to the hell hole that what I said actually sounds insensitive to some. surreal.

 

[subj]

am I judging if I think that parents like this are the worst? she should have ended it while the baby still in her belly to save the poor soul from a life of nothing but violent and suffocating waves.

I just can't deal with suicidal parents of minors. how is the kid supposed to survive on it's own? ah yes, someone else is gonna take care of it...yes? so you're going to IMPOSE your child's life on another innocent person who never asked for anything and now that person is going to have to makes HUGES sacrifices to take care of your mistake for you? raising a child is absolutely fucking draining, even more draining if it's not your own. and the chances for this baby to grow in an emotionally abusive environment is unbelievably high. adoption in real life is very different from what they want us to believe. very very different.

great. if she had just killed herself with the baby still inside her, it'd have been more compassionate. this child has already lost his two major pillars in life and it doesn't even know how to sit. Idk if you realize the cruelty of this. It's COMPLETELY helpless, he can't even feed himself or cry properly yet, and he's abandoned to himself.

Idk why people insist on gambling with children's lives. this is called child trafficking. having a child for the mere sense of accomplishment it gives. not cool.

the parents probably rationalised it before taking their life, but some things really should not be rationalized. they are horrible people. as judgemental and single-minded as it sounds, they are horrible people.

What an awful thing to do to this child who will likey be plagued with feeling of rejection all its life.

 

[Darkover]

give everyone their birthright to choose between a life of suffering or ceasing to functional altoghter, any one should have the right to die if they feel life is not going to be any good to them there no point living a miserable life, life in this place is just horrible and terrible way to many thing can go wrong wih life there should be away out for people at a time of thier choosing, i know i wouldn't want to live in this hell hole without my parents by my side to hard to make it all on your own a easy life it is not.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I hope that kid goes on to live a fulfilling life. What a shitty start.

 

[pisshead]

to be clear, I'm not condemning their suicide. rather, their inability to stop themselves from having a child. these two clearly had very shaky foundations to begin with. People don't just kill themselves out of the blues, it's a a long process. they didn't just wake up one morning with post partrum depression. People take the decision to have kids so lightly that they can't even bother to plan for how to deal with things like post-partrum depression (if this is what they suffered from).

but let's not pretend to be naïve. most people who are suicidal after giving birth are people who never wanted to look at themselves in a mirror and be honest with themselves about their capabilities and ressources. It's people who relied on chance and luck, people with extremely shaky financial or emotional foundations.

I don't believe in the narrative of the suddenly suicidal. Most people know to some extent how suicidal they are or will be in specific circumstances. People who do it are people who toy with the idea from time to time, or chronically contemplate it like a lot of people here.

It's such a normalized thing to be completely irresponsible about bringing a child to the hell hole that what I said actually sounds insensitive to some. surreal.

I don't agree with you, some people can feel suicidal within minutes of something terrible happening, and remember, a baby is conceived 9 months before birth. A lot can happen within that time frame, and in this case, it obviously did!
You have no right to judge anyone who takes their own lives, after all, we're all going to leave someone who loves us, and we're all here for similar, if not the same, reasons.
This child will probably have a better life with a family who can't have children of their own, people who desperately want a baby, they will cherish and protect this child even more so, because of the baby's heartbreaking beginning.
You have absolutely no idea of what this couple were going through, before they decided to end it all, so please don't judge them, you have no right to.

 

[VoidDesirer22]

T

I don't agree with you, some people can feel suicidal within minutes of something terrible happening, and remember, a baby is conceived 9 months before birth. A lot can happen within that time frame, and in this case, it obviously did!
You have no right to judge anyone who takes their own lives, after all, we're all going to leave someone who loves us, and we're all here for similar, if not the same, reasons.
This child will probably have a better life with a family who can't have children of their own, people who desperately want a baby, they will cherish and protect this child even more so, because of the baby's heartbreaking beginning.
You have absolutely no idea of what this couple were going through, before they decided to end it all, so please don't judge them, you have no right to.

They already said they're not judging the specific act of suicide, but rather, the inability to avoid procreating.

It is true that a lot can happen in 9 months, but all in all it comes down to whether you think forcing more people here is immoral or not. People are as passionate and heated about this topic as they are about pro-life vs pro-choice stuff. Fundamentally because they border along the same arguements.

Being forced into existence without any say whatsoever is unspeakably humiliating (and yes, it is impossible to ask, I know). It sent chills down my spine when I first grasped the enormous dread of this circumstance we find ourselves in. Evidence clear as daylight that suffering is rampant, and yet 0.1% of this species is recognizing that forcing the burden of consciousness is immoral.

This particular case is hand picked as a more heart-wrenching one, but in general every birth is a tragedy.