Venting 3 more days

[Idontmatter]

I'm on my last 3 days of life. Tomorrow I'm going to start packing up my ctb supplies to bring to the hotel Saturday afternoon. My nervousnesses is starting to increase since the day is almost here. My gut is telling me that this is finally the right time though, no more postponing. I'm having a final meal with my husband tomorrow night. I put in a sick day for Monday at work even though I should be dead by then. The amount of relief I'm feeling now is the best ever. I actually slept last night the best I have in a long time. The sn method just has to work. My worst fear is waking up in the hospital with my family looking at me like i'm the biggest disappointment ever, more than I already am. It's hard to believe that this is the last weekend of my life. I hope you guys don't mind putting up with me Saturday and Sunday… I'll be nervous and it helps to talk to someone. I'm still going to start my goodbye thread Saturday night after I've checked into the hotel and gotten settled in. Then Sunday I'll update when I'm starting to mix the sn glasses. Let's hope it all goes smoothly and I will be leaving this world by Sunday night.

 

[SexyIncél]

Be as chatty as you like! Feel free to PM me. It's your last observations of this silly universe, people should finally support you!

 

[jodes2]

I hope it works out for you I hope you get the comfort you deserve from here in your remaining days. Are you going to do anything to treat yourself?

 

[universe]

I'm on my last 3 days of life. Tomorrow I'm going to start packing up my ctb supplies to bring to the hotel Saturday afternoon. My nervousnesses is starting to increase since the day is almost here. My gut is telling me that this is finally the right time though, no more postponing. I'm having a final meal with my husband tomorrow night. I put in a sick day for Monday at work even though I should be dead by then. The amount of relief I'm feeling now is the best ever. I actually slept last night the best I have in a long time. The sn method just has to work. My worst fear is waking up in the hospital with my family looking at me like i'm the biggest disappointment ever, more than I already am. It's hard to believe that this is the last weekend of my life. I hope you guys don't mind putting up with me Saturday and Sunday… I'll be nervous and it helps to talk to someone. I'm still going to start my goodbye thread Saturday night after I've checked into the hotel and gotten settled in. Then Sunday I'll update when I'm starting to mix the sn glasses. Let's hope it all goes smoothly and I will be leaving this world by Sunday night.

I agree, I think people from the forum will be there, if you need to talk. I hope everything will be fine for you, no matter what.

 

[Idontmatter]

I hope it works out for you I hope you get the comfort you deserve from here in your remaining days. Are you going to do anything to treat yourself?

There is a burger place I that love to go to so I'll probably do that on Saturday and walk the park. I don't have to much planned. My mind is going to be pretty much on drinking the sn.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best and I hope that you find freedom from all the suffering.

 

[Everlong]

There is a burger place I that love to go to so I'll probably do that on Saturday and walk the park. I don't have to much planned. My mind is going to be pretty much on drinking the sn.

Be mindful of the fasting period. I hope it all works as you wish and your rest is complete.

 

[Idontmatter]

Be mindful of the fasting period. I hope it all works as you wish and your rest is complete.

Yeah, I'll be fasting at least 12 hours

 

[tiny_dancer]

Wishing you a really nice next few days, as good as they can be, and peace in what's to come. Please don't feel like we will just be putting up with you, everyone is here for support

 

[blackwidow]

I just wanted you to take this with you... youDomatter..

 

[hunterfla]

I'll be doing the same Sunday. I'm here if you want to chat.

 

[Al0neAlwayz]

I believe the 21st will be my day. Wishing you peace and love. I hope you get exactly what you want your last few days and move on quickly, peacefully, and without complication.

 

[farakini]

I'll be here when you're ready….talk and say whatever you want if it helps to keep you calm. I'm sending you love and light on your journey and wishing for you, great peace and joy on the other side.

 

[anxiety cat]

Sending you love

I do have a question, will your husband be suspicious if you check into a hotel?

 

[Idontmatter]

Sending you love

I do have a question, will your husband be suspicious if you check into a hotel?

That's a good question. I told him I have a "work trip" and I'm leaving Saturday. I figured that story would cover me. He does know I'm suicidal but can't really tell if he suspects anything. I'm sad that I can't say a proper goodbye but I'm doing what I have to do.

 

[theboy]

enjoy your last days. If you need to talk, send me a message. I wish you a lot of peace

 

[Hollowillow]

I wish I could plan something so beautiful. I tried to partial hang yesterday after yet another traumatic abuse being denied help.

If you go to a hotel in the afternoon and pay cash it will take a while before they find you.

You're comforting to read, you're no dissapointment, if they look at you this way instead of with compassion for your pain, they really don't deserve you.

I hope that you'll succeed. With all my heart. Please believe at least on your last day that you matter, that you deserves all your wishes.

 

[anxiety cat]

That's a good question. I told him I have a "work trip" and I'm leaving Saturday. I figured that story would cover me. He does know I'm suicidal but can't really tell if he suspects anything. I'm sad that I can't say a proper goodbye but I'm doing what I have to do.

Oh I see. I'm so sorry it's come to this. Sounds like you are doing the best you can to say goodbye without actually saying goodbye. You seem like a really sweet person. Sending hugs to you

 

[Idontmatter]

Oh I see. I'm so sorry it's come to this. Sounds like you are doing the best you can to say goodbye without actually saying goodbye. You seem like a really sweet person. Sending hugs to you

I have a lot of self hatred sadly. I keep saying and I still mean it that I hope everyone that I'm leaving behind will forgive me. It's going to throw my husband for a loop because he will have to be the one to log on and pay all of the bills. I'm anxious to get it over with.

 

[anxiety cat]

I have a lot of self hatred sadly. I keep saying and I still mean it that I hope everyone that I'm leaving behind will forgive me. It's going to throw my husband for a loop because he will have to be the one to log on and pay all of the bills. I'm anxious to get it over with.

It's a horrible internal battle. I understand, trust me. I would be anxious too.

 

[Hollowillow]

Why do you think you deserve hatred? I only hate pedophiles... And social worker who deny help, shame, and do psychological violence... I want out because helpers tortured me.

What is your reason to go again? I forgot your previous post

 

[Idontmatter]

Why do you think you deserve hatred? I only hate pedophiles... And social worker who deny help, shame, and do psychological violence... I want out because helpers tortured me.

What is your reason to go again? I forgot your previous post

Depression and anxiety. Medications, therapy and other treatments don't work.

 

[Euthanza]

You're a nice person, you deserve peaceful escape from this misery. I hope things go smooth as planned in your favor. Good luck mate!

 

[Idontmatter]

Just 2 days left. The nerves are really going now. Going to start packing up my suicide supplies shortly. Hotel check in is tomorrow. After all of the postponing it's finally going to happen. I keep researching life after death, curious if it exists or if I will just not exist anymore.

 

[hatehypocrisy]

Just 2 days left. The nerves are really going now. Going to start packing up my suicide supplies shortly. Hotel check in is tomorrow. After all of the postponing it's finally going to happen. I keep researching life after death, curious if it exists or if I will just not exist anymore.

Before you go, you can vent as much as you want. Why not?

 

[Hollowillow]

Depression and anxiety. Medications, therapy and other treatments don't work.

They don't work because depression & anxiety us a sign of exhaustion & stress. Shaming & drugging you for feeling this way will just deny your needs more.

I'm enjoying to read your adventure. I hope it will have a happy ending.

 

[Idontmatter]

Before you go, you can vent as much as you want. Why not?

I'm just so nervous that I'm going to fail. I'm doing everything I can not to and I'll have my backup glass ready to drink. I just hope my husband forgives me. So many thoughts and emotions are going through my head today. I'm supposed to be working today but I can't, my brain is going to crazy. Thankfully I'm working from home today. I'm for sure at peace with my decision.

 

[Hollowillow]

Just 2 days left. The nerves are really going now. Going to start packing up my suicide supplies shortly. Hotel check in is tomorrow. After all of the postponing it's finally going to happen. I keep researching life after death, curious if it exists or if I will just not exist anymore.

Life itself will continue after death. If you have children your legacy will live on.

 

[Idontmatter]

They don't work because depression & anxiety us a sign of exhaustion & stress. Shaming & drugging you for feeling this way will just deny your needs more.

I'm enjoying to read your adventure. I hope it will have a happy ending.

I've given up on doctors. They make me feel crazy honestly. I kept postponing holding out hope that I might feel better but I've lost all motivation. Im far from lazy but I can't get myself up to do anything. My only relief now will be to die.

Life itself will continue after death. If you have children your legacy will live on.

I don't have any kids. My legacy isn't worth living on anyway

 

[Hollowillow]

I'm just so nervous that I'm going to fail. I'm doing everything I can not to and I'll have my backup glass ready to drink. I just hope my husband forgives me. So many thoughts and emotions are going through my head today. I'm supposed to be working today but I can't, my brain is going to crazy. Thankfully I'm working from home today. I'm for sure at peace with my decision.

You seem well prepared with a backup. Just follow the plan & remember your resolve. I hope you'll go peacefully