28m - No friends/family, unemployed, no social life, mom died

[FunnyHam]

I'll keep this short. In a predicament where I have no friends or social life at 28m. The only social life I've had was in uni and the first real friends I had and even then I barely talk to them now. Ever since uni I kept to myself since and wanted to make friends closer to home and really put myself out there but the pandemic hit and contributed to me not making friends. I was bullied up to the age of 18 and struggled in uni finding myself, drank. did drugs etc and it wasn't until I did a software dev diploma that I actually felt proud ive learnt something but with AGI now, is there any point. Aliso stay active I guess and do some volunteering but I have no friends, never liked watching movies/shows, have no interest in cars so I'm never able to participate in the convos everyone else does.

Growing up, had no real friends my entire life due to bullying and social anxiety. Now that I'm trying to date again, I have no social life or really life experiences to talk about with dates and I can never progress past the initial couple of dates phase. I'm also worried that if I ever get married I'll have no best man or friends I could invite to my wedding which would just make the wedding experience that much worse. I have a sister that I'm not close with, small family I'm not close with and a late bloomer in life so not sure if I'll ever live on my own. I have travelled and haven't been a hermit my entire life but I don't have memories I can bring up in conversations, the conversations just feel like I fall flat with guys and women.

An aside, my mom passed away and although I loved her and always will, she had her own issues as well and was certainly not an ideal mom, I have nightmares of me getting buried in a casket or dying and I will never get the image of her dying out of my head. I've also been unemployed for 8 months...and its taking a toll. I only have 2 years of work experience and it was a bs software job, the rest of the year's I was just toiling away, finished with a bachelors and then did the software dev diploma but just odd jobs.

What are my options?

• Try to reinvent myself and get 20-30 friends and slowly start dating again, is this even possible at my age?(everyone is having babies, getting married and generally stick to their own friend groups at that age)
• Don't bother trying and just be comfortable with where I'm at living with my dad as a NEET for survival and mental health reasons
• Move to a eastern European country and just live a simple life(have a passport)
• Give up

 

[oreoro1]

Where you from?

 

[FunnyHam]

Where you from?

Greater Toronto Area

 

[carac]

I feel you, I am kind of in the same position but a lot older. I am 46 now. I had a lot of health issues so dating wasn't even a question the past 10 years, I could barely function myself. I am doing better now but living with my mum and just working part time.
I have like two options. I could try and date, but I feel like I would need get a car, get a full time job and move out, which I don't think my mental health would handle and even then, physically I am unnapealing to women, I just don't think even if I try it will happen. The second option it just to keep trying as I am, taking it slowly, looking after myself, trying to make friends, maybe I will meet someone along the way who will accept me but I doubt it, but hopefully life can be somewhat tolerable.

 

[oreoro1]

Greater Toronto Area

You can go to rural areas if that is something you might be interested in !

 

[the old man]

You had friends in uni so it is perfectly reasonable to think you can and will make new friends and tbh 28 is still young enough to meet someone and start a family if that is what you want, you are obviously an intelligent person you have yourself a bachelors and diploma put yourself out there to the company's that employ people with your aptitude because they're not going to come knocking your door offering work, as for a social circle of 20-30 friends I think if everyone is totally honest they can count the number of true friends on one hand,and then some still have spare fingers, no need to reinvent yourself just be you as for conversation show interest in what others are talking about and ask questions about their favourite subjects...people love taking about what they like....if you do eventually meet someone then there is a whole new circle of people to meet, make friends with and socialise, moving to some other country will not solve any of your issues maybe even add to them.

 

[oohiniyorafaad]

I'll keep this short. In a predicament where I have no friends or social life at 28m. The only social life I've had was in uni and the first real friends I had and even then I barely talk to them now. Ever since uni I kept to myself since and wanted to make friends closer to home and really put myself out there but the pandemic hit and contributed to me not making friends. I was bullied up to the age of 18 and struggled in uni finding myself, drank. did drugs etc and it wasn't until I did a software dev diploma that I actually felt proud ive learnt something but with AGI now, is there any point. Aliso stay active I guess and do some volunteering but I have no friends, never liked watching movies/shows, have no interest in cars so I'm never able to participate in the convos everyone else does.

Growing up, had no real friends my entire life due to bullying and social anxiety. Now that I'm trying to date again, I have no social life or really life experiences to talk about with dates and I can never progress past the initial couple of dates phase. I'm also worried that if I ever get married I'll have no best man or friends I could invite to my wedding which would just make the wedding experience that much worse. I have a sister that I'm not close with, small family I'm not close with and a late bloomer in life so not sure if I'll ever live on my own. I have travelled and haven't been a hermit my entire life but I don't have memories I can bring up in conversations, the conversations just feel like I fall flat with guys and women.

An aside, my mom passed away and although I loved her and always will, she had her own issues as well and was certainly not an ideal mom, I have nightmares of me getting buried in a casket or dying and I will never get the image of her dying out of my head. I've also been unemployed for 8 months...and its taking a toll. I only have 2 years of work experience and it was a bs software job, the rest of the year's I was just toiling away, finished with a bachelors and then did the software dev diploma but just odd jobs.

What are my options?

• Try to reinvent myself and get 20-30 friends and slowly start dating again, is this even possible at my age?(everyone is having babies, getting married and generally stick to their own friend groups at that age)
• Don't bother trying and just be comfortable with where I'm at living with my dad as a NEET for survival and mental health reasons
• Move to a eastern European country and just live a simple life(have a passport)
• Give up

are you serious about try to befriend 20 to 30 people or is that the age group. genuinely asking

 

[FunnyHam]

are you serious about try to befriend 20 to 30 people or is that the age group. genuinely asking

Sorry should've clarified, both but yeah I guess in my age group would be preferred. 20 might be ambitious but I figured better more than less and eventually you can form deeper bonds with a few.

You can go to rural areas if that is something you might be interested in !

Too many redneck Canadians, they only stay with their kind, anglosaxons, but as a whole I'd get a long with them but many are fake nice but you could say that for anywhere in Canada nowadays. Just don't want to stay in Canada any longer and if I do, I'd be depressed,even if I had a lot of money.

 

[casual_existence]

Go to a big US city. Plenty of opportunity there. Or a European city

 

[FunnyHam]

Go to a big US city. Plenty of opportunity there. Or a European city

Not a fan of the US personally but like 1-2 years sure. And Europe I can since I'm dual citizen, just would need a remote job

 

[FunnyHam]

You had friends in uni so it is perfectly reasonable to think you can and will make new friends and tbh 28 is still young enough to meet someone and start a family if that is what you want, you are obviously an intelligent person you have yourself a bachelors and diploma put yourself out there to the company's that employ people with your aptitude because they're not going to come knocking your door offering work, as for a social circle of 20-30 friends I think if everyone is totally honest they can count the number of true friends on one hand,and then some still have spare fingers, no need to reinvent yourself just be you as for conversation show interest in what others are talking about and ask questions about their favourite subjects...people love taking about what they like....if you do eventually meet someone then there is a whole new circle of people to meet, make friends with and socialise, moving to some other country will not solve any of your issues maybe even add to them.

How do you find the motivation to meet people when it's never worked out, honestly. People like people who have a edge or interesting, I feel like I'm just a blank wall at times. I will also add I am balding and look older and have problems with erectile dysfunction.