Mx_Pathetic
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- May 8, 2023
- 114
I've decided to ctb during May I'm still not sure when (the day) I'm most likely going to be looking for an opening and by that I mean when my family goes camping or something. Because I 1- don't want them to "save" me. 2- Im planning on calling the police so they find me before my parents do. Im thinking of May because my birthdays in April and I really don't want to turn 21 however if I cant find a opening during May then Ill have to suffer one more time before I leave I suppose. I remember once I was felt highly suicidal in the past and I decided to message a hotline (I don't like phone calls) anyways about 3-4 hours later they sent the police to my house at like 6 in the morning so I'm hoping for something like that to happen when I ctb. Like I don't want them to come right away incase they manage to "save" me but I don't want my family to find me first yknow, I don't want to traumatize them from the sight of my body. My way of suicide will be hanging or another method of strangulation (can't remember what it's called) I don't want to be "rescued" as I'm highly aware of the damage hanging will effect me if I survive. I'm kinda scared of survive my attempt. I'll most likely keep everyone updated on my attempt. I also might have some questions along the way. Like seriously someone in Australia send me a link for a good rope. There is a Bunnings near me so I can easily get one.
