2023 has been the worst year ever for me. I now finally want to ctb

[FireFox]

This has been the worst year ever and I no longer plan anything anymore because this year has been so terrible. Month after month is just things never going right. I am sick of this shit everything going wrong all the time.

January:

I was forced to spend the entire month in my parents home country and it was pure hell. The entire month was nothing but bad luck. I hate my mother for not giving me the right to stay at home. She always forces us to go I hate her so much.

• The week we arrived the government of the county introduced 12 hours of powercuts everyday split in cycles of 6 hours no power then a break and then another 6 hours of powercuts. When we arrived in the accommodation we were staying in everything was falling apart and the WiFi was not good, the greedy owner promised us the WiFi was a good. 3 days later my family and were forced to move to a new accommodation as it was not habitable to live in.

• The relatives where visiting the accommodation. It was absolutely revolting seeing the relatives who caused my grandmother pain being fake nice to my grandmother. The relatives were even stealing our food. The relatives were making themselves large breakfast and lunch with OUR food. My grandmother didn't say anything because she doesn't want conflict. My mother was forcing my sister and I to interact with the relatives.

• All I was looking forward to was leaving and I couldn't even experience the joy of leaving because the plane was forced to make an emergency landing due to damage detected in the plane. Out of all the thousands of planes flying in the sky our plane ended up being the one with problems

February

• My final days at work was pure hell betrayed by a work colleague I thought who was a friend. She gossiped about me it spread and then being humiliated by the older male work colleague I fell deeply in love with. He who used the workplace management to terrorise me.

• I got fired on Valentines day for underperforming and not meeting targets.

March

• Plunged in to deep depression and anxiety over the shame of getting fired and failing to have my life together

April

• My eating disorder gets exposed

 

[nonialabaster]

I am so sorry for your terrible year. I wish I had words of comfort. All I can say is that you are in the right place here. You're a long-term member, so you know there is support here.

 

[chocolatebar]

I know very well what it feels to think we're at the absolute bottom, and then see everything we've been trying to achieve fall to pieces... so sorry for you. I wish I could help you somehow.

 

[uselessaddict33]

That's almost exactly what happened to me in 2022, I literally lost everything I cared about and attempted to CTB multiple times. Things have gotten a little better not great but heading in a better direction hopefully. I hope you decide to stay here and just give things another chance.

 

[FuneralCry]

The reality is that this world we exist in certainly is so unnecessarily cruel and I get that it's awful when what one goes through just continues to get worse, it's horrible how in this world there is unlimited potential to suffer and for life to get more torturous. But anyway I wish you the best, it's true that other people very often just make things even worse than they already are.

 

[FireFox]

I am so sorry for your terrible year. I wish I had words of comfort. All I can say is that you are in the right place here. You're a long-term member, so you know there is support here.

@nonialabaster Awwww I love your cat profile picture so much, I am a massive cat lover. I have really tried and I really wanted to be normal and happy. I really wanted to live. If I had more support on how to live and shown I can have a future I wouldn't be here nor find suicide appealing.

Society along with our families demand we do not kill ourselves but doesn't give people the support to live effectively, happier and freer. Hypocrites.

That's almost exactly what happened to me in 2022, I literally lost everything I cared about and attempted to CTB multiple times. Things have gotten a little better not great but heading in a better direction hopefully. I hope you decide to stay here and just give things another chance.

@uselessaddict33 Virtual hug I have really tried but I am so sick of this shit throughout this year. One thing after another then another going wrong all the fucking time. Honestly it has finally broken me.

January was the worst spending a month seeing my awful relatives. I was so happy during the pandemic when there was a travel ban imposed on my parents home country because it meant never seeing these people. My grandmother said mother love these arsehole relatives and value their approval. I will always hate my relatives because there where never there for my mother when she was struggling as a single mum when I was born. These people knew my mum was struggling but none of these relatives cared. My family tree is huge with multiple cousins, aunties and uncles and my grandmother was helping the relatives with their problems.

Being the first born i had deal with my mother always getting stressed about work and even taking out on me. Life would have been easier if my relatives helped. It sickens me so much their fake nice behaviour when they have never been there nor cared. They are 100% to blame for my problems. My family household would have been so much richer if my grandmother and mother were not always giving money to help these people. I will always hate my relatives.

Growing up I was not allowed to express any anger or upset about it. My family just say" be grateful you have relatives"

My mother has no idea how much I actually hate her so much for booking the trip and forcing us to engage with these people. It should be illegal for parents to force their children to interact with toxic relatives. February was just another awful month.

I really wanted to live and be happy maybe I was asking for too much.

I wish you well

Love
FireFox