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crippled with grief
Nov 8, 2021
335
lived 1/4 of a life expectancy. had the self-aware part of the brain for about half of it and had at tops 1 good year of relative mental peace. a lenient same rate of 1/10 during "care free youth" applied to adulthood suggests i slog out 70 years for 7 good ones? seems like a scam to me
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,319
I could not imagine putting up with this life for many more decades. I do not want anymore days or years. I am only 21 but so tired of everything. I wish you the best.
 
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Ravel

Ravel

tired
Dec 13, 2021
144
I could not imagine putting up with this life for many more decades. I do not want anymore days or years. I am only 21 but so tired of everything. I wish you the best.
can i talk to you
 
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Rational man

Rational man

Enlightened
Oct 19, 2021
1,485
lived 1/4 of a life expectancy. had the self-aware part of the brain for about half of it and had at tops 1 good year of relative mental peace. a lenient same rate of 1/10 during "care free youth" applied to adulthood suggests i slog out 70 years for 7 good ones? seems like a scam to me
i wouldn't want to live to 80. Ive seen some terrible scenes of humans pissing and shitting their pants. Its awful. I've lived 36 Years, 35 good ones but im very sick now. Its beyond my control and i accept i will die soon.
 
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Crazy4u

Crazy4u

Enlightened
Sep 29, 2021
1,318
I can't imagine living 20 more years. There is no point of living that long.
 
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NearlyIrrelevantCake

NearlyIrrelevantCake

The Cake Is A Lie
Aug 12, 2021
1,733
Are you still in the ward, OP?
 
Snake of Eden

Snake of Eden

“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
Jun 22, 2021
2,473
So much fun isnt it? :hihi:.By your mid to late 30s inside of nose hairs start growing exponentially much longer.Just something to look forward to FYI. You also start hating teenagers like you never was one yourself
 
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L

Ligottian

Enlightened
Dec 19, 2021
1,012
Sixty-one years down and a hell of a lot less to go.
 
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Snake of Eden

Snake of Eden

“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
Jun 22, 2021
2,473
Sixty-one years down and a hell of a lot less to go.
I sincerely never thought i would say this but kudos to you and i am jealous
 
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NearlyIrrelevantCake

NearlyIrrelevantCake

The Cake Is A Lie
Aug 12, 2021
1,733
got discharged around nye. the high of being back home lasted about a day lmao. thx for asking :)
Happy to hear you're not stuck in there anymore, at least.
 
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S

SuicidallyCurious

Enlightened
Dec 20, 2020
1,715
I remember feeling the same way at that rough age . Feels like it was just yesterday i saw old relatives die when it has been almost two decades

I was like oh shit I'm a quarter of the way there
 
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TheHatedOne

TheHatedOne

Death is salvation
Sep 26, 2021
2,028
The concept of living that much is like SF for me. Barely could imagine myself being at 30s. let alone much more than that.
 
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freedompass

freedompass

Warlock
Jan 27, 2021
768
I'll be 60 in March. Watching my 90 year old mother deteriorate is not fun. I get to that point literally over my dead body. I feel bad for the struggling young people too. Never envious whatsoever, the 20's are the pits but life in general has been shit to the point of absurdity and getting old and infirm into the bargain would just be adding insult to injury.
 
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S

SuicidallyCurious

Enlightened
Dec 20, 2020
1,715
The concept of living that much is like SF for me. Barely could imagine myself at 30s.
Mid 30s has always been my target exit date. I'm pretty satisfied with what I got out of life until now . Of course life expectations change so much as one comes out of being a youth and they are constantly downgraded as you become more in tune with reality

I'm so glad I don't have children and I'd like to thank sexual education those guys are the best. I can't imagine having a child I probably wouldn't want the girl to abort it due to my culture and that would probably be the only thing that could force me to reluctantly stick around a little longer
 
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Noctis

Noctis

I wish I'd done it years ago
Dec 15, 2021
308
37 here. That 10% rate goes down as you age. I have fewer and fewer good days every year.
 
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demuic

demuic

Life was a mistake
Sep 12, 2020
1,383
The longer you live, the more you will see anyone or anything you care about die, and the more your body and mind will break down, as society discards you as useless after having drained you of all that you can give for several decades ("retirement.") Very old age is really nothing to strive for.
 
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CiproKilledMe

CiproKilledMe

Experienced
Mar 23, 2021
243
The good news is: Time speeds up the older you get. The first 20 years take forever. The second 20 years fly by. And although I have yet to experience it, I have to imagine this acceleration of time only continues with each passing year until finally you are dead.
 
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L

Ligottian

Enlightened
Dec 19, 2021
1,012
I'll be 60 in March. Watching my 90 year old mother deteriorate is not fun. I get to that point literally over my dead body. I feel bad for the struggling young people too. Never envious whatsoever, the 20's are the pits but life in general has been shit to the point of absurdity and getting old and infirm into the bargain would just be adding insult to injury.
I'm 61 and watched both of my parents die hard deaths. I have no intention of getting to the point they did.
 
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L

Ligottian

Enlightened
Dec 19, 2021
1,012
The good news is: Time speeds up the older you get. The first 20 years take forever. The second 20 years fly by. And although I have yet to experience it, I have to imagine this acceleration of time only continues with each passing year until finally you are dead.
And oh how it does! It will be February in a few days and to me last summer seems only a few months ago. 61 here.
 
VoidDesirer22

VoidDesirer22

A dream inside a locked room
Sep 6, 2021
673
I will not see a second of my 30's. Wish I didn't see my 20's, but here we are.
The good news is: Time speeds up the older you get. The first 20 years take forever. The second 20 years fly by. And although I have yet to experience it, I have to imagine this acceleration of time only continues with each passing year until finally you are dead.
Doesn't accelerate when every day is pain
The longer you live, the more you will see anyone or anything you care about die, and the more your body and mind will break down, as society discards you as useless after having drained you of all that you can give for several decades ("retirement.") Very old age is really nothing to strive for.
Not only is nothing to strive for -- it is also something to actively avoid. It makes me fucking shiver thinking about it. When I see old people I just cannot believe they made it there without a ctb plan. I must be a fucking alien or something.
 
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K

KimKevorkian

Experienced
Feb 23, 2022
210
Figuring out how to donate and distribute and preserve certain items before the deed. I will NOT have strangers looting my family's paintings, music, personal belongings. I need to have a specific, trusted person as guardian of these things. It's a strong feeling of responsibility I have to preserve my mom's artistic legacy, for instance. Otherwise, I'm gonna be one pissed-off poltergeist.

Anyone else working on getting items into proper hands, repositories? When I'm the only family member left (the others are horrid and estranged), this is the hand we're dealt. I just don't want to fuck this up in any way. When I go, I want to have the peace of mind that I got into the right hands music and art that should be preserved for generations to come. I don't want to reveal too much here; but will say my mom was one of the greatest singers the world has known, yet never made a goddamn dime. Her recordings are all owned by the big studios who never have cut her a royalty in decades. I have original recordings of hers I HAVE to preserve digitally, along with physical memorabilia, etc. and am working on these things now. I will not die without having done these things. Not the easiest task, as jazz artists have never been as appreciated in the U.S. as in Europe or Japan.
 
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CiproKilledMe

CiproKilledMe

Experienced
Mar 23, 2021
243
Figuring out how to donate and distribute and preserve certain items before the deed. I will NOT have strangers looting my family's paintings, music, personal belongings. I need to have a specific, trusted person as guardian of these things. It's a strong feeling of responsibility I have to preserve my mom's artistic legacy, for instance. Otherwise, I'm gonna be one pissed-off poltergeist.

Anyone else working on getting items into proper hands, repositories? When I'm the only family member left (the others are horrid and estranged), this is the hand we're dealt. I just don't want to fuck this up in any way. When I go, I want to have the peace of mind that I got into the right hands music and art that should be preserved for generations to come. I don't want to reveal too much here; but will say my mom was one of the greatest singers the world has known, yet never made a goddamn dime. Her recordings are all owned by the big studios who never have cut her a royalty in decades. I have original recordings of hers I HAVE to preserve digitally, along with physical memorabilia, etc. and am working on these things now. I will not die without having done these things. Not the easiest task, as jazz artists have never been as appreciated in the U.S. as in Europe or Japan.

You might want to create your own thread on this topic, @KimKevorkian. I'm not sure you're going to find the people & answers you need in this one. You sound like an interesting person with an interesting mother!
 
O

OldDrummer

Arcanist
Feb 4, 2022
435
Figuring out how to donate and distribute and preserve certain items before the deed. I will NOT have strangers looting my family's paintings, music, personal belongings. I need to have a specific, trusted person as guardian of these things. It's a strong feeling of responsibility I have to preserve my mom's artistic legacy, for instance. Otherwise, I'm gonna be one pissed-off poltergeist.

I'm leaving a *lot* of possessions here. Lots of expensive artworks, instruments, hi-fi, vinyl, etc.

But the worst thing I, or you, or anyone else could do would be have any earthly attachments when you ctb.

The ramifications are horrid. You become a ghost without any perception of time, unable to move on.

You just need to let go.
 
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dustyfurcollector

dustyfurcollector

Experienced
Dec 17, 2021
299
i wouldn't want to live to 80. Ive seen some terrible scenes of humans pissing and shitting their pants. Its awful. I've lived 36 Years, 35 good ones but im very sick now. Its beyond my control and i accept i will die soon.
I'm so glad that you have good memories to look back on. And I'm sorry you're sick now. I hope you ctb (if you want to) by the means that you chose at your own time. 🧡
 
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Lost Magic

Lost Magic

Illuminated
May 5, 2020
3,203
I hope I don't make my 40th. The best years (for me anyway) are looong gone. I just don't want to be that bitter old broken person at the end of my life. Saying, that I probably am that already lol, so why wait till it gets worse? :pfff:;-;

season 10 episode 20 GIF
clash royale goblin GIF by Clasharama
 
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