I hope you don't mind me posting every so often for my final days. I ctb 2 weeks from Saturday. I'll be meeting up with a good friend/ctb partner that I met here. I am actually very excited. Our method is sn. My only fear is waking up after drinking it and seeing my friend succeed and I didn't. I wouldn't survive in prison… lol m. It's not likely to happen but still worries me. I'm still happy to be leaving with a friend so I don't die alone. We have been keeping each other calm. My guilt for leaving my family is very minimal now due to my depression getting even worse. Other than that one big fear I'm feeling happy about my decision. We are following Stan's guide, going through each step so we don't fail.
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GasMonkey
Nitrogen Master Race
- May 15, 2022
- 1,878
looking_for_peace
Student
- Dec 4, 2022
- 195
My fear would be being conscious and having both of your bodies starting to shut down and having to watch the other person twitch, moan, vomit and have seizures while having to endure it yourself. I can imagine that would be horrific.
I'm planning one week later if nothing improves. I understand why someone would want a partner, but for me I'd rather go alone. Wish you the best.
Have you considered what would happen if one of you wanted to call for help after taking it if SI kicks in?
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,318
It must be a relief to feel at peace with your decision and I really don't think that SN is anything to worry about as long as you follow the guide, which you are. So many have succeeded with that method after all, and I certainly envy them. I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.
That would be my concern as well. It's hard enough to deal with your own SI. It is amplified in a situation like this. Someone posted on another thread that she and her boyfriend tried two different times. The first time he called a relative and the second time he took off with the vehicle. Having someone else with you seems like it would complicate things.
We have talked about that because it is a valid point. We are both committed to doing it and we are going to decide where to put our phones so we can't get to them.
The main reason we decided to team up is because he has the meds but no sn, I have a lot of sn but no meds. We are still working out some small details to make things go as smoothly as possible.
Another possible issue we are taking about. There are lots of what ifs that goes with having a ctb partner.
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Can you guarantee everything will go smoothly? If you can't you shouldn't be saying it.
No, I cannot guarantee this. You rightly noticed.
Forgive me for my stupidity.
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You were not being stupid and I don't think you are stupid. You were being kind. But I feel that it is important that we steer clear of lulling people into a false sense of security with our words here, whether we intend that or not. There's so much that can go wrong with SN as we have seen recently. I think it is best to be cautious and sober minded when approaching these things.
