Method 12 gauge singleshot with 3" slugs, painless???

[IDIABUSE]

So because of lack of funds and shit parents (dad had a 50 grand keyboard he refuses to sell) can't buy fentanyl and benzos. But I can get a cheap 160$ 12 gauge single shot.

I'm thinking of using 3" foster slugs the hot loaded magnum ones made of the soft lead alloy for expansion as it only needs to punch through 6mm of bone.

I'm thinking of sawing the barrel from 28" to 18" so I can hold it properly. Is aiming at the side of the head slightly above the ear at a slight downward angle the best way to hit the brainstem while also deatroying parts of brain responsible for consciousness? I do not think putting the gun in my mouth is a good method. I've seen the video called "video 1444" of a Russian guy using a 12 gauge Saiga 12(???) And he did infact seem to die instantly. No clue what ammo he used if 2 3/4 buckshot or a 3" slug. But he did aim at the side above the ear. He dropped like a sack of bricks. Out like a light. Perhaps search video 1444 and let me know if that looks painless?

The slug should be ripping through the brain faster than pain signals can register from what I read.

I decided that a 9mm won't be enough as I have a rather large head and it doesn't blow the whole skull apart. With a 12 gauge it seems that shot placement isn't as critical as with weaker stuff like 9mm and handguns in general. Also what about an AK47? would 7.62x39 with a rapid expanding hollowpoint work better or is a 3" slug better? The AK is a faster velocity but much smaller bullet.

Alsp is Aiming between the eyes not a good idea either?


Soon I'll post some pics of myself to see if you guys think the placement and angle is right. I'm thinking above the ear with a slight downward angle. But aimed above ear at a straight angle will also work?


I also plan to get some Xanax to help overcome the survival instinct.



What are the chances of me fucking up? Will the death be instant? It seems fentanyl is more clean and calmer vs a violent death blowing chunks of brain everywhere but painlessness is priority #1 perhaps taking some drugs and getting relaxed then doing it.

Also note I've been a massive drug addict doing almost every drug I can get. With opioids and dissociatives being my favorite (and meth before I burned my brain out permanently)


So sorry for wall of text. Does this plan sound reliable as long as I don't flinch before trigger pull? Buckshot or 3" magnum slugs?

 

[IDIABUSE]

I'm surprised I didn't get any replies. Any advice if this would be painless and actually work would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

 

[squirley]

first off sorry to whatever has brought you to this point.
Second.
I'm not sure if you have the search bar yet. But there are a few threads that you will find helpful.
Shotguns / angle / etc.

There's just a lot going on here and I don't know were to start.
If you can't search threads yet. I'll copy a few over

 

[unnormal9]

Sorry, I saw 'slugs' and was blinded & trauma-evoked.

 

[blacksand]

Obviously no one can tell you if it hurts or not. However there's strong evidence that the brain will be destroyed in under a millisecond by a slug and that's way too quick for pain to register.

 

[IDIABUSE]

first off sorry to whatever has brought you to this point.
Second.
I'm not sure if you have the search bar yet. But there are a few threads that you will find helpful.
Shotguns / angle / etc.

There's just a lot going on here and I don't know were to start.
If you can't search threads yet. I'll copy a few over

I've searched and it says that aiming I mouth is best but I've seen too many pictures of people surviving and blowing their face off and surviving obviously their angle is wrong but common sense and anatomy says aiming at the side of the head above the ear with a slight downward angle to hit the brainstem does seem like it will work.



What brought me to this point.. I used to have a lust love for life. Put it simply its because of my shitty parents having a kid they cannot care for, not acknowledging My disabilities and getting proper treatment (autism, adhd, severe depression, opioid addiction,ocd, gender dysphoria, etc) and letting me have an abcessed rotting tooth causing heart problems and 2 years and won't get it pulled (is my life only worth a few thousand to them?)

And the fact that dentists refuse to do payment plans, no cash upfront then I guess you die a miserable death with once good health failing, heart rate in the 120s resting, angina, kidney problems,

I Also hate this country. It's like your a slave to pieces of paper (money) and it literally control's every aspect of life. Even to the point of being able to CTB painlessly or not or even to CTb at all.


And my dad has a cs80 keyboard worth 50 grand and refuses to sell it to fix my tooth and help me.


Mom used to be educated making bifmg money now she stopped working for 6yrs got evicted from 4 places. Just gave up for nothing.


I believe my parents are both legally and ethically obligated to support me because I have disabilities on paper to prove it. Can't hold a job, physically weak, I also believe I'm more suited to being feminine as I have the body of a small female, people even confused me for being a girl when I had long hair down to waist. Parents fucked everything up caused a breakdown and I hacked off 7 years of hair.


I mean dude I can go on and on. Every person I talk to gets "burnt out" from the emotional labor when I try to vent to them. Its fucked up.



Speaking of burning out my dad also bought me methamphetamine (you know the breaking bad drug you know the shit they give to hyper kids?) Burned out my brain causing damaged dopamine system and anhedonia and he refuses me buy me medicine to repair the damage.


I have not a thing going for me MO incentive to keep living. Can't afford nothing to better myself, lost all motivation I go months without showering at times when I used to shower daily.


Don't have my own money or anything and I refuse to live in a world where you either have money or you die a miserable death, a world that doesn't recognize tooth abcess as an emergency when every website says "it can kill you! It can rot through your bone and into your brain, heart damage dont let ur jaw bone rot away, etc" but if I have not a dime to my Name what do you do? Die of sepsis?

The ER will do nothing. They will not pull it. They slap some ibuprofen at you and send you home. Even dental schools and charities charge money, not as much as a greedy ass rich dentist but they indeed do charge money upfront or no service. It makes me want to bash their skull in. They make over 200k a year and they refuse to do a 'service first money later or monthly payment plan?



But aside it's my parents who are the problem. An apathetic dont-care-about nothing not even himself father and a mother who is now homeless and used to be a nursing administrator making 80k a year.




there's MUCH more to it but I only have a phone so it's very hard to explain everything and it's painful. Parents took everything that kept me going away, my 94 F250 diesel truck, my $5000 computer, gave me fucking amphetamines because they said "can't afford a methadone or suboxone rehab program" which those amphetamines caused me to hear terrifying voices and delusions that took years to go away. Not to mention sending me to the hospital an an ambulance with a fucking heartattack because of their incompetence.

They say I 'don't want help because I say the doctors won't give me the narcotics I want" of course I won't Pay valuable money for shitty antidepressants that don't work. They try to push off everything on me that I DONT WANT or need but refuse to give what I do need like methadone maintenance.



I fight with my dad daily. He knows I'm weaker than him. I wish I had done bodybuilding so I can fight him, but I have to fend him off with a chainsaw and he still doesn't listen or back off.



The only person who half ass cared was my mom but she lost herself to mental illness she refuses to treat and refuses to get a job .

Dad Also refuses to work, if he does sell his 50 grand keyboard that's my very Last money forever.

I only have like 300 coming next week to buy the shotgun and a box of 3" slugs and maybe some benzos overcome the survival instinct. I rather use fentanyl and benzos + SN. But can't even have a clean death due to my degenerate sacks of shit for parents.


all I want to know is will a 12ga slug to the side of the head truly provide an instant fast and painless death? As gruesome as a death as it is. I hope I won't feel a second of pain or get unlucky and survive.


I hope be enjoys his cs80 keyboard and he values a piece of plastic,wood & metal over his kid, his flesh and blood.

I hope he enjoys cleaning up chunks of my brain and the blood. He can feed me to the raccoons outside for all I care. As that's how I think he feels about me.





It's fucked man. Can you feel the tension in my post? Most people say it's too much for them. Just shows how incompetent and lazy they are.

But lastly, I might live stream myself blowing my brains out and a message don't have kids you can't care for and better yet don't have kids at all, don't bring an innocent kid into this cruel world where you need paper to survive. Just don't. I feel that I'm now just a product of 2 glorified monkeys/animals having sex. That's it.

My parents destroyed every redeeming trait about me every unique good positive thing they destroyed. Now I'm just a burden no one wants to be around with rotting teeth and smells like rotting meat.



I used to be such a great intellectual person and enjoyed helping others, I used to be so much and now I'm nothing. Just a worthless sack of bones and flesh waiting to die (painlessly)



Its weird. I had a feeling that I wouldn't make it past 30 years old when I was 12 and I was right. People warned Me that I will decline as a person and die a horrible miserable death. (Miserable death and in from sepsis it seems)


I think if I should take down my "dad" with me by crippling him or not.

It may be better to just let him be ridiculed by not caring for his kid. I will try to make sure he goes to PRISON by sending a report to the police seconds before I pill the trigger. And to let them know not to listen to a word he says.





Sorry for all this but you see :/ actually much more to it but this is just the tip of the iceberg. You would think that parents would get good education and make good money long before I got to this point.

 

[squirley]

That's quite a it going on all at once and throughout many years.
Touched on a few things I can relate with and others that are just completely wild.
So i hear yah.

I'm not 100% on how your shotty and ammo stacks up to this. This is a thread that answers everything I think.
There is also 2 little sub threads in here which are important.
Especially with holding the gun / side of head / etc.

If you don't find a different way out of your situation. Hopefully you can find peace on the way out.

Which shotgun should I use?

Putting aside my previous plan of shooting myself in the heart; I've decided to use a shotgun. I'll also need to get a hunters license, because California requires non-hunters to be at least 21 years of age to buy shotguns, and I don't feel like waiting 2 more years for that. Now, since I will...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Good luck.

 

[IDIABUSE]

That's quite a it going on all at once and throughout many years.
Touched on a few things I can relate with and others that are just completely wild.
So i hear yah.

I'm not 100% on how your shotty and ammo stacks up to this. This is a thread that answers everything I think.
There is also 2 little sub threads in here which are important.
Especially with holding the gun / side of head / etc.

If you don't find a different way out of your situation. Hopefully you can find peace on the way out.

Which shotgun should I use?

Putting aside my previous plan of shooting myself in the heart; I've decided to use a shotgun. I'll also need to get a hunters license, because California requires non-hunters to be at least 21 years of age to buy shotguns, and I don't feel like waiting 2 more years for that. Now, since I will...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Good luck.

Yea I thought you would want to know the reasons of what is forcing me to do this.


That thread says that a semi auto shotgun is better because less recoil, unfortunately those cost a lot of money. Bur I found a single shot break action for $150 with ammo and fees adds up to 200. Plus getting the benzos off darknet adds up to $300 dollars total.


"Quite wild" good discussion. What exactly do you relate with me on and what parts are wild to you?

I mean the whole thing is wild especially a parent letting their only kid slip into sepsis when you can cure it on top of buying them crystal meth just cause its "cheaper" than methadone medication assisted rehab. Note fo not confuse methadone with methamphetamine amphetamines in general.


That's a class of drug best used sparingly. Extremely beautiful it can be used sparingly but being forced to use it daily is wrong on many levels.



So to sum it up what's your method to ctb? Preferred method and the one your forced to use?

As stated, nembutal and fentanyl is my preferred. But 12 gauge slug to brain is what I have to make do. It's definitely going to be weird going from living and aware to nothingness in less than a second opposed to dozing off In a comfy euphoria of Nembutal and opioids (with anti emetics ofc) but this Is what I have to do to avoid dying from a horrible miserable death and preventable disease.....


This is the thing that my dad says he rather keep rather than sell so I can continue living and fix my problems rather than dying, from sepsis or suicide or whatever.

Pretty twisted and absolutely sickening isn't it? To value a piece of plastic over a living thing, more specifically your own son.

picture I took of it personally. have you ever seen or heard of a situation more fucked up than this? What's your reasons for ctb?

Honestly thinking of destroying it before I CTB But I don't know. I'd like for him to go to prison someway. Would you agree In the eyes of the police and law that what he is doing Is actually illegal? Clearly someone who Is very mentally and physically disabled who cannot care for himself and refusing to sell or get a job, refusing getting me on mental health medication and fix my health problems is illegal. Be my luck he will get away he will lawyer up and get away with it.

All in all regardless and as helpless as I am and as horrible my situation is, I hope the 12 gauge slug will put me out of my misery, forever.

I've got it thought now a bit better. Saw barrel down to 18", take benzos get relaxed. Practice dry firing in mirror, perhaps shave my head to give me a final "no going back" reason and to see where to aim better, place barrel at side of head exactly above right ear aimed slightly downwards or straight if that's all I can reach, load 3" slug and take aim and hope I can muster up enough courage to pull trigger. A pistol grip short barrel shotty is a lot easier to use for ctb but i have to improvise right? Story of my life.


I don't know of your religious or not (I'm agnostic) but pray/hope it works out for me.

 

[Inteoop]

That thread says that a semi auto shotgun is better because less recoil

I fail to see how recoil matters, the gun essentially doesn't kick until the projectile has left the barrel.

 

[IDIABUSE]

I fail to see how recoil matters, the gun essentially doesn't kick until the projectile has left the barrel.

Yeah that's what I was thinking. Maybe it is overstated. Still might be better to have a firm grip on it or have it braced against a wall or the floor. Since I cannot afford a pistol grip shotgun (just the standard grip) definitely be less control and firm grip on it but I'm sure I can make it work.


I think case in point is to avoid weak guns. I think even a 9mm hollowpoint isn't enough for a 100% guaranteed painless death, I'd say 10mm bare minimum. Better yet. 7.62x39 and 12 gauge 2 3/4 slugs and above like those 3" magnum hot loads advertised for deer. With a fast large bullet shot placement is less critical, you'd have to aim just right for a 9mm but a 12ga slug you could be slight off by a 1/2 inch or so and still work painlessly.


Lastly a 9mm doesn't blow apart the whole skull like slugs do. Resuscitation won't be possible with a well placed 12ga slug. I currently have a 9mm but I don't trust it... recoil and Also very easy to hold and aim but the chances of suffering or bleeding out, vegetable state, etc but with as much as my parents care about me I can say with certainty that they will not let me live In a brain dead state. Just end up withdrawing lifesupport, removing feeding tube or refusing to call for help at all.


Kinda wish they agreed to shoot twice after I do it though. Surprising they didn't kill me themselves. My guess is they want my death to look like death from natural causes or accident. To avoid risk of prison. Hence letting my accessed teeth going unchecked and refusing to Medicate my mental health and gmjust tossing a bag of meth at me thinking that'll magically fix things. Scum bags. don't know if it's intentional or they just don't care lack ability to feel or care.


Yes I am getting a bit off topic but I feel that the reason behind me doing this is just as important as the method. Specifically being FORCED to ctb being the saddest part. I'm not just depressed or don't want help.


I begged and beg for help. Heck I have to beg yell and get on my knees literally just to get anything out of him.

Refusing to buy the things needed to repair my brain damage from the meth he bought me? Guess what I guess I'll blow my brains all across the room then. Have fun cleaning it up. Or be the selfish you are ("dad") and call a clean up crew. Why not just cremate me and flush the remains down the toilet spit In the ashes too or feed me to wild animals.


Better yet... I wish to have the body donated to Science. Maybe benefit humanity and harvest the organs for other unfortunate people to use.


Not that any of that matters. Cause I'll be dead. Really ill be darn lucky to get the gun and the box of slugs and some benzos. And I mean damn lucky and darn happy just for that.


These things should not be happening in a 1st world country. But hey, shitty 'merica I live in. Now if I were in Norway, as cold as the weather is, at least I'd have free methadone and dental work and better parents.


Whatever. My worry now is not to get so physically sick that I can't even get the gun. Mouth infections are wild. People die and get sick from just cracked teeth, not to mention rotting abcesses on the top part of my mouth 1 inch away from my brain.



I swear I spit in my dads face twice recently so he gets that abcesses spit in his eyes. He has a shit attitude saying "if I die from it so what" speaking about his own abcesses. Well maybe I don't want to have heart damage at age 26 you rotten piece of shit (to "dad")



Sorry if I'm going over board.