10 years in psychiatry, still trying to solve life

[Penguin96]

Hello!

I'm happy to be here. It's my first post and thread. I just wanted to say that I've been 10 years in psychiatry and just this weekend I was at the hospital.

A lot of the time I want to give up. Life is too hard, there are too many obstacles. Despite doctors and therapists, I go down the hole a lot.

I have bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and adhd. I'm medically retired so I don't have to work. It's hard to find meaning in life.

I might get psychiatric housing in the future. You know, a place where there's staff near your home. But we'll see about that. Right now, I live at home.

How do you guys keep going after so many years with issues? I'm 35 and scared about the future. But a part of me still has hope about it.

Best wishes,
Penguin96

 

[unluckysadness]

Hi and welcome to the forum
I'm sorry you're suffering that much. I'm older than you (43) and to be honest, I don't know why I'm still here. Probably survival instinct and a very little amount of hope. All my life has been pain, anxiety, sadness with so much mental and physical disorders...
I think we are all scared about the future. The present moment is already scary. And when you have trauma (I do - like many people here), it feels you are stuck in hell. Feels like it never ends. I hope this forum can help you. The members here are wonderful people And if your pain is bearable, I wish you recovery. I send you hugs and thanks for being here

 

[BlueVolt]

Hi,
I relate a lot : 15 years in therapy, seen a lot of psychiatrists.

I keep going because I can see that I've made a lot of progress. The relapses can be worse than the beginning but I have better coping mechanisms. My mental health is still bad but I try to be more kind to myself, and I am proud of some things I did.

You managed to get medical retirement and also you might get a psychiatric housing. You have some support that I suppose you didn't have before and I know it's a lot of work to ask for help. In my country it requires lots of paperwork and one also needs to overcome a feeling of illegitimacy, so it's nice that you managed to do all of this process

I say that because I'm like you, I recently got some "administrative" recognition of my mental illnesses and even if it's not much I feel more equipped than before to face a new crisis.
These kind of thoughts help me.

I wish you the best !

 

[mushi]

i like your username. penguins are pretty cool. i just do one day at a time. i think about what i'm going to eat and make sure it's sorted. i make sure my house is clean enough. i work a dead end job but at least i work. i haven't found a meaning or purpose in life. i messed up almost all of my relationships and friendships. my health is not great and doctors never take me seriously. my cats are fed and their litter boxes are scooped. that's the best I can do. that's not enough for other people, it wasn't enough for my parents or friends, but that's all I can do. hating myself or trying harder hasn't solved that.

 

[Penguin96]

I've gotten better. I have psychiatric housing now, do art, and go to church. Ive also found a card game to get social. Dont think about suicide right now. The key factor is having staff nearby and a structured environment. I have 4 meals served a day now and live in the center of the city. Buddhism is something Im going to try too. There is still hope. Thanks for your replies. It helps.