Help 1.5 Year Attempt to Recovery

[sifp]

Hey all.

I told my therapist about my SN protocol that I've almost finished assembling. She asked asked me for 1.5 years of my life to get me better after which I have her blessing.

Thing is, I've barely survived the past year and all that has come of it is excruciating minute to minute pain and cognitive impairment. But I feel like a dick just going ahead with the SN protocol without giving her the change to get me better. I dunno SaSu. What do you think?

Here is my story for context:

Introducing Myself and My Story

Hello everyone. I've been on this site for about a year but only got the courage to make an account a week ago. I thought I'd write my story about what led me here if anyone cares to read. I hope it's not too indulgent. It helps to write to try to figure out how I got here. And if one person...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[TransilvanianHunger]

Even though I am not actively suicidal at this point, I like the feeling of knowing that I can just check out if I want to. Back when I was, my therapist told me something along the same lines: "let's work on things for a bit, if you still feel like killing yourself, I can't do anything to stop you". I gave myself that chance, and I'm still here.

So, should you give yourself the chance? I don't see why not. If nothing improves after you've given it an honest-to-goodness try, your SN protocol is still going to be there. I think you deserve that chance to try.

 

[unluckysadness]

You're lucky to have such a therapist. Most of them judge you and can put you into psych ward. I can't talk about it. I gave life so many chances and now I'm 44 and I'm sure to ctb. There is no alternative for me. But I wish you good luck and I hope you can recover.

 

[nitrogenous]

I think ultimately, it's your choice and we won't be able to make that choice for you unfortunately. But maybe to see it from another perspective, instead of pure black and white thinking of taking it now vs waiting 1.5 years, what about setting a middle ground such as waiting a couple of weeks or months (depending on how comfortable you are with that goal) and then reassess as then it might feel more manageable and not as daunting

 

[sifp]

I think ultimately, it's your choice and we won't be able to make that choice for you unfortunately. But maybe to see it from another perspective, instead of pure black and white thinking of taking it now vs waiting 1.5 years, what about setting a middle ground such as waiting a couple of weeks or months (depending on how comfortable you are with that goal) and then reassess as then it might feel more manageable and not as daunting

Sadly it is kind of black and white. I should have mentioned this detail but if I do this deal I have to forfeit my supplies to my mother for safekeeping for the 1.5 year duration.

You're lucky to have such a therapist. Most of them judge you and can put you into psych ward. I can't talk about it. I gave life so many chances and now I'm 44 and I'm sure to ctb. There is no alternative for me. But I wish you good luck and I hope you can recover.

May I ask why there is no alternative? No obligation to say of course.

 

[EternalShore]

Sadly it is kind of black and white. I should have mentioned this detail but if I do this deal I have to forfeit my supplies to my mother for safekeeping for the 1.5 year duration.

Do you have to? I wouldn't trust mine regarding something like this whatsoever but if you trust yours~ :) also, I completely agree with @TransilvanianHunger in that once you get your method, you can choose to leave whenever you wish, so you should try and do your best to the very end~ ^_^

 

[sifp]

Do you have to? I wouldn't trust mine regarding something like this whatsoever but if you trust yours~ :) also, I completely agree with @TransilvanianHunger in that once you get your method, you can choose to leave whenever you wish, so you should try and do your best to the very end~ ^_^

I'm afraid I do have to. If I don't relinquish it my therapist is gonna send me to the ward (what other choice does she have, she is legally obligated).

I do trust her and believe her though but 1.5 years is a long time to suffer.

I'm afraid I do have to. If I don't relinquish it my therapist is gonna send me to the ward (what other choice does she have, she is legally obligated).

I do trust her and believe her though but 1.5 years is a long time to suffer.

Leaning toward using it now. I'm just suffering so much with no end in sight and my mental illness has basically given me dimensia. I just feel like such a dick doing this since it's kind of deceptive to my therapist and my family.