I've been wanting to die because I hate life since I was 12, first attempted at 14. I'm 31 now, I wish I died at 14. I've been unsuccessful in all my attempts, too terrified to jump off a bridge or infront of a train. Hanging failed countless times. It's like my body just won't die, I'm stuck here to suffer my entire life. I have been suffering nonstop, there hasn't been a single time in my life I was happy and wanted to be here. When I was a kid and understood existence, I stared at myself in disbelief that I existed in this shit world. I hatedddddd school and waking up early soooooo much, I've been nocturnal since age 12 it's my nature, living the neurotypical diurnal life is excruciating for me. I don't belong here. I'm broken and I don't work