Your Potential- And not being able to reach it- because of various reasons- is that why u wanna go

[destinationlosangel]

So having talked to ppl here thru PMs and also on other threads, one thing I have been able to conclude is that many of us want to ctb cuz for whatever reason we aren't able to reach our highest potential so it makes sense to ctb.

For example - I have some rare health issues that stop me from working at my best. I dont really want to forgo that and live a mediocre existence just to survive so i guess it makes sense to ctb. This is the basic idea behind this way of thinking. Also I imagine things can get incredibly difficult when you have to see your own sorta 'Fall from Grace' and to live with that can be extremely difficult. It is a bit of a complicated situation because you have a high horse power engine, to use a car analogy, but all your tires have been slashed and u just cannot find replacement tires. Replacement tires in my case would mean a few new body parts lol.

I do wonder tho if the future might bring us something promising like in the Ghost in the Shell anime. Cybernetic organisms. I guess the more likely scenario is our tech overloads make AI go overboard to a point where every movement of ours gets tracked and none of the advancements that we expected to have exist lol

Its like in Back to the Future 2 (amazing movie btw), ppl expected to have flying cars and hoverboards, but instead we get nothing lol

 

[FitsTime]

Kinda... For me society is all fake and only luck matters, unless you have very bad injuries or are totally unable to interact with others.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, I want to cease existing on my own terms as existence is very undesirable. I have no interest in suffering for decades in this hellish and meaningless existence. To me existence itself is an abomination, I know that in my case I've never wanted to exist, all that's ever comforted me is the thought of eternal nothingness. The only "potential" there is in my existence is the potential to suffer to unlimited amounts and that on it's own is enough to only make suicide feel rational to me, I don't want to suffer, I don't want to be burdened with human existence.

 

[destinationlosangel]

No, I want to cease existing on my own terms as existence is very undesirable. I have no interest in suffering for decades in this hellish and meaningless existence. To me existence itself is an abomination, I know that in my case I've never wanted to exist, all that's ever comforted me is the thought of eternal nothingness. The only "potential" there is in my existence is the potential to suffer to unlimited amounts and that on it's own is enough to only make suicide feel rational to me, I don't want to suffer, I don't want to be burdened with human existence.

I imagine this is another way of looking at it. When I used the word potential, it was more in the sense of academic/career potential. The ability to rise in society. A reaction to this would be to not participate

 

[LuvMeMusic]

I never had any potential to begin with, so ctb seems like the logical choice to me.

 

[sserafim]

Yeah but I never wanted to achieve anything in society anyways. I've already graduated college and that's enough for me. Other people think I wasted my potential though, but the issue is that there's barriers in me reaching it because of ASD.

 

[LifeIsCrazyNemb]

Its like in Back to the Future 2 (amazing movie btw), ppl expected to have flying cars and hoverboards, but instead we get nothing lol

I was really pissed in 2015 due to high expectations caused by this amazing movie. lol
all i was hoping for is hoveboards, flying cars and suicide booth in every street corner (just like in futurama).

In the end, all we got was TIK TOK

 

[theboy]

maybe I have potential but I don't see it and I prefer ctb.

 

[LostInTheWoods]

Absolutely. Socially I've made mistakes because even if I like to say no, I have met some nice people that could have helped me.
But career wise I've done all in my power and I was stopped by external events. I'm not absolutely less intelligent thar some people that are in a better position than me. So yeah since I can't live the life I should live, I want to CTB

 

[destinationlosangel]

Absolutely. Socially I've made mistakes because even if I like to say no, I have met some nice people that could have helped me.
But career wise I've done all in my power and I was stopped by external events. I'm not absolutely less intelligent thar some people that are in a better position than me. So yeah since I can't live the life I should live, I want to CTB

ok u get what im talkin anout

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Definitely one of my reasons amongst a "list" of many.

 

[destinationlosangel]

Definitely one of my reasons amongst a "list" of many.

love Buffy :)

 

[DeadManLiving]

Yep, a high rise fall from grace broke my psyche beyond repair. So it's either continue living forward or "carrying forward," I should say this heavy Cross of the price of regret along through life's broader array of harms, or not. The rational answer is not.

 

[destinationlosangel]

Yep, a high rise fall from grace broke my psyche beyond repair. So it's either continue living forward or "carrying forward," I should say this heavy Cross of the price of regret along through life's broader array of harms, or not. The rational answer is not.

i feel you man! Same here.

 

[h.s.p.]

I can relate. I won't go into details, but I always had a few important goals in life, and whenever I felt prevented from achieving them my mental issues would strike me down.
Thanks to meds and perseverance I've been able to achieve at least one of these goals, but when I felt stuck again a few years ago meds kinda stopped working, and my mental health started spiraling down. I fought tooth and nail and tried to recover, but things got worse. If this is the quality of life that I'll have to deal with, I'd rather quit. I always valued quality more than quantity. Besides, I lived my life to the fullest - even if in an unbalanced way - until a few years ago, so I somehow feel complete.