Discussion Your last days / minutes.

[Lara Francis]

Hi.
I feel so sad and in pain.
I feel empty,isolated and at peace with my decision to ctb.
Lots of people have carried me through the past 3 years of my life but enough is enough!
When people talk about near death experiences or the days approaching an attempt ,they often mention a wave of peace and calmness which i think is maybe related to an acceptence stage and it feels like a great weight has been removed from our shoulders.
I often lay in bed being really still as my mind and body felt as if they had totally given up wishing that each breath was going to be my last and i could just slip away !
I will hang (partial) but in those final moments - What do you think and feel.?
Will it be a mixture of excitement,fear,sadness yet freedom and peace?
What if i change my mind just before passing out but dont have the physical strength to stand up again ?
So many questions
Lots of love to you all xx

 

[Youthanasia]

Personally I don't like the sound of ctb while on an emotional turbulence. I believe one should come to terms with what went wrong before making that decision.

Once it's inevitable, I'll want to spend my final days living like a king, doing things I like. In other words, eating pizza and getting wasted in the company of an escort

 

[JustDie]

I've had this happen many times in my life. I used to just be satisfied by just putting the noose around my neck -- until that felt normal. Then I stared to hang my noose and test the weight, and then put myself in it.. until that felt normal. Then I started to try to partially hang..
I wish it would feel normal, but it isn't.

It doesn't feel like freedom for me, just a temporary escape.. It's not even an escape anymore, I can't bring myself to hang myself. If I could, I wouldn't be here. It's just a wave of emptiness, feeling hollow inside, and waking up the next day like nothing has happened.

 

[Empty Smile]

I think it will be a mixture of all your feelings at once. When I attempted a few years ago, every feeling I had bottled up came flooding out at one time. Tears, laughing, cry, hate, love, anger, happiness.... My brain couldn't comprehend what it was supposed to do.

Most of my thoughts seemed to take me back to the days when I was a kid. Happy, and content. Knowing I will never see days like those again, is another driving force for me to ctb.