I sabotaged the relationships I had, and I was not in healthy relationships. I was not very self aware and neither were the guys I got involved with. So it was doomed.
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,854
My dream is to be able to be a successful musician, being able to give lessons, perform at venues of my choice, and be able to make a name for myself and not have to rely on a day job. Sadly, given how the music industry is, that is just a fantasy dream, most likely unattainable.
Orin
Experienced
- Apr 16, 2019
- 253
This is a possibility (maybe a very unlikely one) but i don't think i will live long enough to see this day even if i don't ctb:
The day when AI truly becomes a conscious, moral and benevolent entity that will take control of humanity and erase all extreme forms of suffering.
The day when AI truly becomes a conscious, moral and benevolent entity that will take control of humanity and erase all extreme forms of suffering.
RM5998
Sack of Meat
- Sep 3, 2018
- 2,202
Yeah... been there. I am there right now, actually. I've gotten used to walking looking straight down at the ground, and I try to not leave my room. I actually joined a club that prides itself in being an amalgamation of oddities - and they seem like everyone else to me. Maybe I've shifted too far left to comprehend other people.
I want to be a great game developer, but I know that I can never do that. I'm supposed to be working on one now, and all my ideas are nothing but random thoughts that will never coalesce into a decent product. I want to be able to tell a compelling story that people can connect and interact with, but I can't even summon the energy to finish a fucking tileset.
Kjo
Student
- Jun 7, 2019
- 148
I heavily disagree on a few points there and I'm sorry you feel that way. I have quite a few published author friends that make a living from it.
Utilizing pseudo names to leverage preferred gender/ethnicity is always an option as well - as many published female authors use first initial and last name to appear masculine and so forth.
Best of luck for all and any of your future endeavors regardless. Much love.
thatguyakira123
Experienced
- Apr 10, 2018
- 217
I wanted to live on my own, have a job as a graphic artist, living in Canada, New Zealand or Austraila. Unfortunately there is too many red tape and expenses to get citizenship in other countries. Plus I'd have to work in a shitty job 1st before I could get the one I want. Then there is the fact that I am an introvert and not good with people and to adult you have to interact allot with people for basic living and If I were to fail in a forien country I'd be on the streets or deported.
I want to be an amazing skateboarder, like professional but not sign on to be pro, while I got the basics down my anxety and the shitty way my body is makes it difficult to do a proper ollie. I want to be in a metal band both as a singer and a screemo vocalist. While can sing good and do very good low growls, my lungs are small, I can't hold things for long.
I want firends but I live in a country where you either have to conform either to the christian, hindu, muslim, gangster culture or indian culture to get friends. I also want to have a boyfirend/husband but homsexulaity is a big no no here, which makes dating even more difficult. Releationships I've had before never worked out cuz it involved allot of sneaking around to work.
When I was a punk I wanted to live on the streets with the other punks. Hell as a metalhead I still want to do that, but both things aren't big where I'm from.
I want to be an amazing skateboarder, like professional but not sign on to be pro, while I got the basics down my anxety and the shitty way my body is makes it difficult to do a proper ollie. I want to be in a metal band both as a singer and a screemo vocalist. While can sing good and do very good low growls, my lungs are small, I can't hold things for long.
I want firends but I live in a country where you either have to conform either to the christian, hindu, muslim, gangster culture or indian culture to get friends. I also want to have a boyfirend/husband but homsexulaity is a big no no here, which makes dating even more difficult. Releationships I've had before never worked out cuz it involved allot of sneaking around to work.
When I was a punk I wanted to live on the streets with the other punks. Hell as a metalhead I still want to do that, but both things aren't big where I'm from.
LaBrava
Experienced
- May 5, 2019
- 265
I suppose my ideal dream would have been to have my own flat in London, retire and spend the rest of my days watching all the films I still have yet to watch and rewatch old favourites, read all the books I meant to read and visit a few art exhibitions, maybe do a little more travel and revisit a few favourite spots. None of this will now happen, I will either struggle on in poverty working in a small town or CTB.
Severen
Enlightened
- Jun 30, 2018
- 1,819
You know the world today is pure shit, when a man can't even one day achieve your simple dream that is really not asking for much out of life... The rich and wealthy have definitely fucked us all over, hardcore.
inconsequential
Enlightened
- Jun 1, 2019
- 1,011
My dream since childhood was having a family that didn't hurt me, and for the physical pain to stop. Now, my family is dead, and the physical pain is infinitely worse.
At least the dead don't hurt you but in memory.
At least the dead don't hurt you but in memory.
LaBrava
Experienced
- May 5, 2019
- 265
True enough. All I really wanted was to be able to afford a home, have a secure job, get to retirement age and then enjoy a few years pursuing my simple hobbies. Instead the 1 per cent live in opulence and the rest barely scrape by.
Severen
Enlightened
- Jun 30, 2018
- 1,819
But the ruling class has decided, that is too good for you...when it used to be the standard result of people working for X amount of years, even with a shitty job.
LaBrava
Experienced
- May 5, 2019
- 265
True. The boomer generation enjoyed a brief window in which ordinary people could live a reasonably comfortable life, but the ruling elites have been working to dismantle that for decades and it's all but gone now.
Faraway1990
Student
- Jun 2, 2019
- 195
Having a family with my love and not live in clown world where everything is backwards and revolves around money enslavement.
Severen
Enlightened
- Jun 30, 2018
- 1,819
They could still fuck over the boomers though by taking away all the money they get from the government. And then the boomers will be too old to work and become homeless.
LaBrava
Experienced
- May 5, 2019
- 265
The boomers have reliably kept on voting for the politicians that rewarded them so i think they'll get to live out their pleasant lives, having pulled up the ladder after them. Those that come after will not be so lucky.
Severen
Enlightened
- Jun 30, 2018
- 1,819
Well boomers are starting to become useless to the ruling class due to old age... People voting doesn't really count in a Republic like system. There are also a lot of boomers. So why would the ruling class, just give all this free money to them when they could be spending it on shit that benefits them? They will probably take away all that money from the boomers and give it all to other groups of people.
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LaBrava
Experienced
- May 5, 2019
- 265
I'm sure if it's a choice between the bankers and the elites getting what they want or the boomers getting their pensions paid they'll totally dump the boomers.
Severen
Enlightened
- Jun 30, 2018
- 1,819
They don't give 2 shits about the boomers, man. They just treated them well in the past because they had to... If you aren't a part of the ruling class, you are just a piece of shit in their eyes.
LaBrava
Experienced
- May 5, 2019
- 265
Severen
Enlightened
- Jun 30, 2018
- 1,819
AhG
La vie est tout sauf un rêve
- Jan 24, 2019
- 313
JustcallmeChris
Member
- Sep 16, 2018
- 17
I'd love to be a singer or an actor or a famous youtuber. I just wanna provide content that can make people happy because I can't be happy myself and for some reason I care way too much for other human beings. I can't even count the amount of times i've ranted to friends about how I cry because I know i'll never be able to make everyone happy for at least a second.
secondtimesthecharm
Member
- Jun 14, 2019
- 62
There's a lot of dreams I'll be leaving behind.
Finishing law school and building a career as an attorney.
Finding someone I love who loves me back, marrying them, having kids with them.
Having my writing published.
Having my artwork shown in a gallery or a museum.
Traveling the world.
Owning my own home.
It's a little hard to list out the things I dreamt of doing, knowing that I'm foreclosing all possibilities of fulfilling those dreams. But looking at my life and prospects realistically, most (if not all) of my dreams were never going to happen anyways.
Finishing law school and building a career as an attorney.
Finding someone I love who loves me back, marrying them, having kids with them.
Having my writing published.
Having my artwork shown in a gallery or a museum.
Traveling the world.
Owning my own home.
It's a little hard to list out the things I dreamt of doing, knowing that I'm foreclosing all possibilities of fulfilling those dreams. But looking at my life and prospects realistically, most (if not all) of my dreams were never going to happen anyways.
Develop an accurate theory of quantum gravity and win a Nobel prize in physics... Ah my fantastical delusions.
manwewaslonely
shrug
- Jun 13, 2019
- 31
Abel
Member
- Sep 11, 2018
- 60
Oh wow, I also wanted to be a game dev (I chose to major in computer science because of this), but I got scared off by the clusterfuck that is the video game industry. That infamous "crunch time" many devs go through, and horrid mismanagement at some studios (e.g. Bioware)... yeah, I'll pass lol.
But it sounds like you're an indie dev? That's really awesome, some of the best games these days come from indie devs/studios. And I heard it's easier to express your vision when you're by yourself as opposed to having to bounce ideas around a team.
I know these are just empty words, but try not to feel too bad if progress on your game is slow... people like Toby Fox and Eric Barone took many many years to complete their games (and I bet Toby Fox in particular is gonna take many more years before he manages to finish Deltarune lol). I really hope your ideas come together and you're able to create your dream game. Btw, if you end up releasing it on Steam, you gotta let me know! ;)
RM5998
Sack of Meat
- Sep 3, 2018
- 2,202
I'm a CS major as well, but I've let my grades slide into oblivion. I've had plans to end up dead throughout my last 2 semesters, and none have come to fruition due to my spinelessness. And now I'm interning at another university, with 2 days left to finish the project and documentation, and the tileset is still incomplete.
I hope I get to CTB before I graduate.
akita
want to die
- Feb 4, 2019
- 29
Some of my forever unaccomplished dreams include:
Winning a video game tournament (particularly Pokemon)
Getting married
Living in Japan
Being a counselor
...Haha. Here I am, single, alone, incompetent...really not close to accomplishing anything.
Winning a video game tournament (particularly Pokemon)
Getting married
Living in Japan
Being a counselor
...Haha. Here I am, single, alone, incompetent...really not close to accomplishing anything.
RM5998
Sack of Meat
- Sep 3, 2018
- 2,202
Just learn how to play stall, and you'll get there. You don't even need to keep up with the meta.
I wanted to grow old with my partner. But he left for someone else. Now I face two to three decades of being alone. Or I can just cut it short and die in a couple of weeks.
