• Hey Guest,

    If you would still like to donate, you still can. We have more than enough funds to cover operating expenses for quite a while, so don't worry about donating if you aren't able. If you want to donate something other than what is listed, you can contact RainAndSadness.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9

    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
The biggest one was wanting to be loved, in a long-term romantic relationship. I had many hopes that didn't materialize but that one is the hardest to deal with.
I sabotaged the relationships I had, and I was not in healthy relationships. I was not very self aware and neither were the guys I got involved with. So it was doomed.
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: lululoo
TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,662
My dream is to be able to be a successful musician, being able to give lessons, perform at venues of my choice, and be able to make a name for myself and not have to rely on a day job. Sadly, given how the music industry is, that is just a fantasy dream, most likely unattainable.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Kassender
Orin

Orin

Experienced
Apr 16, 2019
253
This is a possibility (maybe a very unlikely one) but i don't think i will live long enough to see this day even if i don't ctb:

The day when AI truly becomes a conscious, moral and benevolent entity that will take control of humanity and erase all extreme forms of suffering.
 
RM5998

RM5998

Sack of Meat
Sep 3, 2018
2,202
...I want to have a friend. I know, super pathetic - I swear I have actual normal dreams lol. But I've been completely friendless for years now. And even back when I did have "friends", they weren't truly friends, but rather, just people who I would occasionally interact with at school, nowhere else.

I'm in university now, and I've tried doing volunteer work, joining clubs, chatting with people in lecture - what ends up happening is either the first conversation awkwardly fizzles out, or someone chats with me for a few days/weeks and then just ghosts me.

But I don't blame them. I have the personality and social skills of a moldy pear. I wouldn't want to be my own friend - anyone who doesn't want to be my friend is simply someone who has decent fucking standards lol. I know that the problem lies solely with me... which means it'll never be resolved because I'm far too gone.

At this point, I'm pretty much resigned to being alone, and I try to convince myself that it's better this way, but... I still get a bit sad whenever I see a group of friends hanging out.
Yeah... been there. I am there right now, actually. I've gotten used to walking looking straight down at the ground, and I try to not leave my room. I actually joined a club that prides itself in being an amalgamation of oddities - and they seem like everyone else to me. Maybe I've shifted too far left to comprehend other people.

I want to be a great game developer, but I know that I can never do that. I'm supposed to be working on one now, and all my ideas are nothing but random thoughts that will never coalesce into a decent product. I want to be able to tell a compelling story that people can connect and interact with, but I can't even summon the energy to finish a fucking tileset.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Abel
Kjo

Kjo

Student
Jun 7, 2019
148
I don't think I can realistically make a living with this passion. Even though I know I'm talented as a writer, I don't think I'll be marketable to a mainstream American audience. There is a glass ceiling in the creative industry for people of my ethnicity. And I absolutely don't want to make this a "side hobby."
I heavily disagree on a few points there and I'm sorry you feel that way. I have quite a few published author friends that make a living from it.

Utilizing pseudo names to leverage preferred gender/ethnicity is always an option as well - as many published female authors use first initial and last name to appear masculine and so forth.

Best of luck for all and any of your future endeavors regardless. Much love.
 
thatguyakira123

thatguyakira123

Experienced
Apr 10, 2018
217
I wanted to live on my own, have a job as a graphic artist, living in Canada, New Zealand or Austraila. Unfortunately there is too many red tape and expenses to get citizenship in other countries. Plus I'd have to work in a shitty job 1st before I could get the one I want. Then there is the fact that I am an introvert and not good with people and to adult you have to interact allot with people for basic living and If I were to fail in a forien country I'd be on the streets or deported.

I want to be an amazing skateboarder, like professional but not sign on to be pro, while I got the basics down my anxety and the shitty way my body is makes it difficult to do a proper ollie. I want to be in a metal band both as a singer and a screemo vocalist. While can sing good and do very good low growls, my lungs are small, I can't hold things for long.

I want firends but I live in a country where you either have to conform either to the christian, hindu, muslim, gangster culture or indian culture to get friends. I also want to have a boyfirend/husband but homsexulaity is a big no no here, which makes dating even more difficult. Releationships I've had before never worked out cuz it involved allot of sneaking around to work.

When I was a punk I wanted to live on the streets with the other punks. Hell as a metalhead I still want to do that, but both things aren't big where I'm from.
 
LaBrava

LaBrava

Experienced
May 5, 2019
265
I suppose my ideal dream would have been to have my own flat in London, retire and spend the rest of my days watching all the films I still have yet to watch and rewatch old favourites, read all the books I meant to read and visit a few art exhibitions, maybe do a little more travel and revisit a few favourite spots. None of this will now happen, I will either struggle on in poverty working in a small town or CTB.
 
Severen

Severen

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,819
I suppose my ideal dream would have been to have my own flat in London, retire and spend the rest of my days watching all the films I still have yet to watch and rewatch old favourites, read all the books I meant to read and visit a few art exhibitions, maybe do a little more travel and revisit a few favourite spots. None of this will now happen, I will either struggle on in poverty working in a small town or CTB.
You know the world today is pure shit, when a man can't even one day achieve your simple dream that is really not asking for much out of life... The rich and wealthy have definitely fucked us all over, hardcore.
 
  • Like
Reactions: AtomicNewt
inconsequential

inconsequential

Enlightened
Jun 1, 2019
1,011
My dream since childhood was having a family that didn't hurt me, and for the physical pain to stop. Now, my family is dead, and the physical pain is infinitely worse.

At least the dead don't hurt you but in memory.
 
LaBrava

LaBrava

Experienced
May 5, 2019
265
You know the world today is pure shit, when a man can't even one day achieve your simple dream that is really not asking for much out of life... The rich and wealthy have definitely fucked us all over, hardcore.
True enough. All I really wanted was to be able to afford a home, have a secure job, get to retirement age and then enjoy a few years pursuing my simple hobbies. Instead the 1 per cent live in opulence and the rest barely scrape by.
 
  • Like
Reactions: AtomicNewt and Severen
Severen

Severen

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,819
True enough. All I really wanted was to be able to afford a home, have a secure job, get to retirement age and then enjoy a few years pursuing my simple hobbies. Instead the 1 per cent live in opulence and the rest barely scrape by.

But the ruling class has decided, that is too good for you...when it used to be the standard result of people working for X amount of years, even with a shitty job.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Faraway1990
LaBrava

LaBrava

Experienced
May 5, 2019
265
But the ruling class has decided, that is too good for you...
True. The boomer generation enjoyed a brief window in which ordinary people could live a reasonably comfortable life, but the ruling elites have been working to dismantle that for decades and it's all but gone now.
 
  • Like
Reactions: AtomicNewt, Faraway1990 and Severen
Faraway1990

Faraway1990

Student
Jun 2, 2019
195
Having a family with my love and not live in clown world where everything is backwards and revolves around money enslavement.
 
Severen

Severen

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,819
True. The boomer generation enjoyed a brief window in which ordinary people could live a reasonably comfortable life, but the ruling elites have been working to dismantle that for decades and it's all but gone now.

They could still fuck over the boomers though by taking away all the money they get from the government. And then the boomers will be too old to work and become homeless.
 
LaBrava

LaBrava

Experienced
May 5, 2019
265
They could still fuck over the boomers though by taking away all the money they get from the government. And then the boomers will be too old to work and become homeless.
The boomers have reliably kept on voting for the politicians that rewarded them so i think they'll get to live out their pleasant lives, having pulled up the ladder after them. Those that come after will not be so lucky.
 
  • Like
Reactions: AtomicNewt
Severen

Severen

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,819
The boomers have reliably kept on voting for the politicians that rewarded them so i think they'll get to live out their pleasant lives, having pulled up the ladder after them. Those that come after will not be so lucky.

Well boomers are starting to become useless to the ruling class due to old age... People voting doesn't really count in a Republic like system. There are also a lot of boomers. So why would the ruling class, just give all this free money to them when they could be spending it on shit that benefits them? They will probably take away all that money from the boomers and give it all to other groups of people.
 
Last edited:
  • Love
Reactions: AtomicNewt
LaBrava

LaBrava

Experienced
May 5, 2019
265
I'm sure if it's a choice between the bankers and the elites getting what they want or the boomers getting their pensions paid they'll totally dump the boomers.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Severen
Severen

Severen

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,819
I'm sure if it's a choice between the bankers and the elites getting what they want or the boomers getting their pensions paid they'll totally dump the boomers.
They don't give 2 shits about the boomers, man. They just treated them well in the past because they had to... If you aren't a part of the ruling class, you are just a piece of shit in their eyes.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Kassender
LaBrava

LaBrava

Experienced
May 5, 2019
265
That George Carlin bit is a true classic.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Severen
AhG

AhG

La vie est tout sauf un rêve
Jan 24, 2019
313
To be good a welder or streamer. Never growing old with my wife like I always talked about.
 
JustcallmeChris

JustcallmeChris

Member
Sep 16, 2018
17
I'd love to be a singer or an actor or a famous youtuber. I just wanna provide content that can make people happy because I can't be happy myself and for some reason I care way too much for other human beings. I can't even count the amount of times i've ranted to friends about how I cry because I know i'll never be able to make everyone happy for at least a second.
 
secondtimesthecharm

secondtimesthecharm

Member
Jun 14, 2019
62
There's a lot of dreams I'll be leaving behind.

Finishing law school and building a career as an attorney.
Finding someone I love who loves me back, marrying them, having kids with them.
Having my writing published.
Having my artwork shown in a gallery or a museum.
Traveling the world.
Owning my own home.

It's a little hard to list out the things I dreamt of doing, knowing that I'm foreclosing all possibilities of fulfilling those dreams. But looking at my life and prospects realistically, most (if not all) of my dreams were never going to happen anyways.
 
S

S5E51mbB

2+2=5
Apr 1, 2019
51
Develop an accurate theory of quantum gravity and win a Nobel prize in physics... Ah my fantastical delusions.
 
  • Like
Reactions: AtomicNewt
Abel

Abel

Delusional
Sep 11, 2018
60
I want to be a great game developer, but I know that I can never do that. I'm supposed to be working on one now, and all my ideas are nothing but random thoughts that will never coalesce into a decent product. I want to be able to tell a compelling story that people can connect and interact with, but I can't even summon the energy to finish a fucking tileset.

Oh wow, I also wanted to be a game dev (I chose to major in computer science because of this), but I got scared off by the clusterfuck that is the video game industry. That infamous "crunch time" many devs go through, and horrid mismanagement at some studios (e.g. Bioware)... yeah, I'll pass lol.

But it sounds like you're an indie dev? That's really awesome, some of the best games these days come from indie devs/studios. And I heard it's easier to express your vision when you're by yourself as opposed to having to bounce ideas around a team.

I know these are just empty words, but try not to feel too bad if progress on your game is slow... people like Toby Fox and Eric Barone took many many years to complete their games (and I bet Toby Fox in particular is gonna take many more years before he manages to finish Deltarune lol). I really hope your ideas come together and you're able to create your dream game. Btw, if you end up releasing it on Steam, you gotta let me know! ;)
 
  • Like
Reactions: zanahori and RM5998
RM5998

RM5998

Sack of Meat
Sep 3, 2018
2,202
Oh wow, I also wanted to be a game dev (I chose to major in computer science because of this), but I got scared off by the clusterfuck that is the video game industry. That infamous "crunch time" many devs go through, and horrid mismanagement at some studios (e.g. Bioware)... yeah, I'll pass lol.

But it sounds like you're an indie dev? That's really awesome, some of the best games these days come from indie devs/studios. And I heard it's easier to express your vision when you're by yourself as opposed to having to bounce ideas around a team.

I know these are just empty words, but try not to feel too bad if progress on your game is slow... people like Toby Fox and Eric Barone took many many years to complete their games (and I bet Toby Fox in particular is gonna take many more years before he manages to finish Deltarune lol). I really hope your ideas come together and you're able to create your dream game. Btw, if you end up releasing it on Steam, you gotta let me know! ;)
I'm a CS major as well, but I've let my grades slide into oblivion. I've had plans to end up dead throughout my last 2 semesters, and none have come to fruition due to my spinelessness. And now I'm interning at another university, with 2 days left to finish the project and documentation, and the tileset is still incomplete.

I hope I get to CTB before I graduate.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Abel
akita

akita

want to die
Feb 4, 2019
29
Some of my forever unaccomplished dreams include:

Winning a video game tournament (particularly Pokemon)
Getting married
Living in Japan
Being a counselor
...Haha. Here I am, single, alone, incompetent...really not close to accomplishing anything.
 
A

andy69

Experienced
May 23, 2019
292
I wanted to grow old with my partner. But he left for someone else. Now I face two to three decades of being alone. Or I can just cut it short and die in a couple of weeks.
 

Similar threads

Darkover
Replies
9
Views
303
Suicide Discussion
leavingthesoultrap
leavingthesoultrap
M
Replies
4
Views
245
Suicide Discussion
wanttodie
wanttodie
leyl
Replies
0
Views
138
Suicide Discussion
leyl
leyl
UnnervedCompany
Replies
3
Views
263
Suicide Discussion
UnnervedCompany
UnnervedCompany