Venting "you live under our roof, we pay your bills, you do absolutely nothing, so you can either respect us or leave"

[ecmnesia]

what's wrong with you?

it was your choice.

against my will I was born into this world to fullfil your delusional fantasies. to spread your twisted genes. to care for you when your old and sick.

because of your abuse I lack the strength to stand up for my own. because of your actions I am emotionally chained to my wardens. because of you abuse, to me, means love. that's what you use to say, wasn't it?

"we are doing it, because we love you"

but do you really? or is it that you only enjoy having someone at your mercy as you please?

you drag me into a fight that has nothing to do with me. you accuse me of being selfish, lazy. you dare to say that I am abusing your kindness, because all I can do is nothing, after all, i spend days and nights on the bed, while you, a poor explored little parent works his ass off to sustain this family. and suddenly, when i tell you, that you have nothing to do with my relationship with my mother (because you don't talk for yourself only, no, you say that i am also abusing her, that she is a victim of my selfishness, kind enough to not complain) I am disrespectful, and you won't tolerate that. You won't have anymore of my bullshit, you are sick of me complaining about life when i have everything, you are sick of me draining your money, your work. You are sick of my dirty mouth, of my arguments, of my personality.

And you are 21 you say. You are expected to be a grown up. You should be working. You should have your money. You should do something.

And yet, who was the one that convinced me not to find a part-time job in college? Who was the one that refused to find a place for me at his business for a summer job, when both my brothers had the opportunity? Who was the one who told me that no one would hire a good for nothing with no experience like me?

But I am under your roof. I have nowhere to go. I have no money. I have no friends. And therefore, I must comply.

It's ironic that I've been holding on for so long for your sakes only.

I'm sick of trying to justify your words. I'm sick of being empathetic towards you. I'm sick of considering your feelings when over and over and over you disregard mine. I'm sick of seeing you as a human being with its own feelings and problems. I'm sick of you. I'm so so sick of you. And yet, I'm a coward, I'm weak. No matter how sick, I can't leave. I'm pathetic. You could kill me, and I'd apologize for the mess. I hate you, but i guess, I hate me more.

 

[WornOutLife]

I SO understand what you mean. Something similar is happening to me since I've become a neet. Life sucks!

 

[TheEndisNear121200]

I'm so sorry, I understand where you're coming from. My parents used to react the same but now they don't really say anything anymore, as they got tired of me.

 

[CoalmineCanary]

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

And you are 21 you say. You are expected to be a grown up. You should be working. You should have your money. You should do something.

And yet, who was the one that convinced me not to find a part-time job in college? Who was the one that refused to find a place for me at his business for a summer job, when both my brothers had the opportunity? Who was the one who told me that no one would hire a good for nothing with no experience like me?

This. Abusers who set up failure and then blame you for it.

I felt soooooo much of your post.

Even when I was paying rent, when I came back for a brief period in my late twenties, I still wasn't allowed to have my own emotions about things that had nothing to do with them because I was under their roof (it still makes no sense) and I had a strict curfew.

And yes, I have loved them so much that I put up with so much for so many decades, and I would have held on for them. They discarded me, and I still stress about how they're going to be affected by my death, I have to work through it every time it comes up. It's like I have a compromised immune system to their insanity, irrationality and abuse; it's greatly improved, but it's still weakened.

Sending support.

 

[elfgyoza]

Is this an actual conversation you had with your parents?
It's one I wish I could have with mine, just to get my feelings across. I resent them for birthing me, why do I have to feel guilt over something they caused?
We're all expected to be grateful for just being alive, being born. My parents selfishly brought a child into existence and now I'm obligated to contribute to society and look after them? Nah fuck that, I'm out

 

[ecmnesia]

Is this an actual conversation you had with your parents?
It's one I wish I could have with mine, just to get my feelings across. I resent them for birthing me, why do I have to feel guilt over something they caused?
We're all expected to be grateful for just being alive, being born. My parents selfishly brought a child into existence and now I'm obligated to contribute to society and look after them? Nah fuck that, I'm out

unfortunately, most of what's written was said to my face yesterday.

i did not retort some of the things I said in here though, cause i honestly don't have the strength to fight anymore.

 

[ts0hill]

I hate my parents. I understand what you mean

 

[Good4Nothing]

Sounds just like my dad.

 

[ecmnesia]

Sounds just like my dad.

I'm sorry for you :(

 

[_Kaira_]

100% relatable. Are you me? Sounds like my parents to a tee.

But seriously, I'm sorry OP. I feel like a lot of parents get a power trip over someone to control. Some mean well, but not all of them..... especially if there's abuse involved.

 

[Good4Nothing]

I'm sorry for you :(

Thanks, and likewise. I've been where you are now. It's a miracle I didn't murder the fucker when I was a teenager.

I no longer have to suffer his abuse on a daily basis, but unfortunately the abuse has totally shaped who I am today. You mentioned something to that effect. How he fucked you up, then blames you for being a fuck-up. Your post really resonated with me. You basically wrote my inner monologue.

 

[ecmnesia]

100% relatable. Are you me? Sounds like my parents to a tee.

But seriously, I'm sorry OP. I feel like a lot of parents get a power trip over someone to control. Some mean well, but not all of them..... especially if there's abuse involved.

it's sad that you can relate, but also comforting, i guess (sorry).

everyone i know out of here has pretty normal parents. i hate when people start talking about their childhood and they have all those good memories while I have to pretend that i can't remember, cause who'd like the mood to be ruined because of my sad pitiful life.

 

[_Kaira_]

it's sad that you can relate, but also comforting, i guess (sorry).

everyone i know out of here has pretty normal parents. i hate when people start talking about their childhood and they have all those good memories while I have to pretend that i can't remember, cause who'd like the mood to be ruined because of my sad pitiful life.

No, you're ok. I'm glad you're somewhat comforted.

It is quite alienating isn't it? All I knew my whole life was dread, pain and secrecy.
Amazing how a negative influence can shape a child's future so drastically versus a loving, caring, and understanding household.
I don't have IRL friends to talk about my past with, so I'm glad I don't have that problem.

 

[elfgyoza]

100% relatable. Are you me? Sounds like my parents to a tee.

But seriously, I'm sorry OP. I feel like a lot of parents get a power trip over someone to control. Some mean well, but not all of them..... especially if there's abuse involved.

I think it normally is a control thing, but possibly more because of human nature/the norm in society?
My parents were never abusive, in fact they're really kind, they just don't see how you can object to being born due to lack of consent. A lot of people see them doing the bare minimum and call them good parents, society is just so used to the idea that it's normal to have a kid and you're not a family if you don't have one. They get to control a mini version of themselves for a few years, what's not to love /s
I see more and more young people online rejecting this way of life though so that's cool

 

[_Kaira_]

I think it normally is a control thing, but possibly more because of human nature/the norm in society?
My parents were never abusive, in fact they're really kind, they just don't see how you can object to being born due to lack of consent. A lot of people see them doing the bare minimum and call them good parents, society is just so used to the idea that it's normal to have a kid and you're not a family if you don't have one. They get to control a mini version of themselves for a few years, what's not to love /s
I see more and more young people online rejecting this way of life though so that's cool

I believe a lot of the parents in GenX (not all) were attempting to raise another generation like how they were raised. Some just don't know the line between discipline and abusive. Striking fear into the hearts of your children in modern times, will not always reap successful members of society.

But of course, people are all different. Some have 'good intentions', some parents aren't parenting, others are just on a narcissistic rampages.

My parents, for instance, always loveeeedddd to remind me how I was nothing like my mother. The complete opposite. Lol.

But yes. Usually a control thing. After all, for every child born, there's always a vision for the future by the parent.
If we don't meet the expectations, we get punished for it.

 

[ecmnesia]

All I knew my whole life was dread, pain and secrecy.

yes. on the one hand i feel bad for not even knowing what happinness, trust and comfort is like. but at least, i can't miss those things as much as others users do, cause i never knew them. actually, this is even more sad. but at least I don't feel like I am missing something, that I could someday regain what i lost, cause i didn't lost anything, i never had them to begin with.

 

[bigdog]

Abusers who set up failure and then blame you for it. +++++++++

 

[Horrors Lazuli]

This is exactly what I'm going through. It's such a fucking mess.

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

When I read this, I imagined myself screaming it all. I feel for you. It's because of that I have an incredible amount of resentment towards my family.

 

[bigdog]

It is fucked up if you have really bad family you have no chance succeeding in life or even live bearable
they will undermine you every time and you will break

 

[Nymph]

Couldn't relate more

 

[Aurora]

I can so relate to this post. My cunty parents are a pair of psychopaths who set me up for failure the rest of my life. Their abuse was brutal and they enjoyed seeing me suffer. They hate kids and never should have been allowed to breed.

I was mocked if I laughed and beaten for looking unhappy. You could never win in that hellish home. And of course they're blaming me for every single thing that has gone wrong in my life that THEY have caused.