Life_and_Death
Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm............
- Jul 1, 2020
- 7,031
How the fuck can people stand there scratching their heads not having any fucking idea what to do with my situation but still insist I live. (rhetorical)
I blocked my non bio big bro idk... 30 less mins ago. He doesn't talk to me. I can literally count 10-20 of my messages before I get a message from him. Hes busy and doesn't know what to say to me. Ok fine I get it. But why the fuck do I still have to live.
I'm in physical and mental (distress? Anguish?) 24/7. I'm never not dealing with something and its impossible to fix any of it and complicated to make it livable. There doesn't seem to be a topic I can't connect a bad moment to. I don't have friends. I don't have family. I'm in constant discomfort due to back pain and random pains in my legs arms and chest. I struggle with basics, eating, brushing my hair (literally have to do this like 2-4 times a day... And it will be knotted in no time), brushing my teeth. My mental state is so low it physically effects me every day. I deal with bpd, cptsd x3, crippling social anxiety, plus others (like I have things that make the cake and then other problems kinda sprinkled on top like 24/7 dissociation and the capgras I use to deal with). I deal with too much literally all the time. And that isn't even everything I'm dealing with. Nor has it gone into anything I've been through or what I know my future is going to hold for me
You know how you can help me?
PULL
THE
FUCKING
TRIGGER
I blocked my non bio big bro idk... 30 less mins ago. He doesn't talk to me. I can literally count 10-20 of my messages before I get a message from him. Hes busy and doesn't know what to say to me. Ok fine I get it. But why the fuck do I still have to live.
I'm in physical and mental (distress? Anguish?) 24/7. I'm never not dealing with something and its impossible to fix any of it and complicated to make it livable. There doesn't seem to be a topic I can't connect a bad moment to. I don't have friends. I don't have family. I'm in constant discomfort due to back pain and random pains in my legs arms and chest. I struggle with basics, eating, brushing my hair (literally have to do this like 2-4 times a day... And it will be knotted in no time), brushing my teeth. My mental state is so low it physically effects me every day. I deal with bpd, cptsd x3, crippling social anxiety, plus others (like I have things that make the cake and then other problems kinda sprinkled on top like 24/7 dissociation and the capgras I use to deal with). I deal with too much literally all the time. And that isn't even everything I'm dealing with. Nor has it gone into anything I've been through or what I know my future is going to hold for me
You know how you can help me?
PULL
THE
FUCKING
TRIGGER
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