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siray

siray

the crucified
Dec 28, 2018
178
This goes especially for the self proclaimed nihilists on this site, their contempt for corporeal existence and 'things of this world' reeks of absurdity and delusion.

A healthy organism bestows infinite value on it's individual life, it's worth is immeasurable. It does not negate the vital responsibility it feels towards the preservation and propagation of it's body, let alone exercise denial of the will-to-live, resignation (Schopenhauer's philosophy).

To what extent are suicidal thoughts an inevitable symptom of a sickly genetic constitution? I for one always held accountable a blind will that 'constructed' me out of the ghastly genetic material of my parents, this is the reason I have always felt disgustingly ugly and weird ever since I was self conscious. No redeeming qualities in my life whatsoever.

I am in no position to determine the worth of a human life, because I have never really lived. If the will-to-power is the innermost essence of life, a blind unintelligible strife that preserves it's bodily manifestation at any cost, then the suicidal person is a walking contradiction, an absurdity.
Who/what is to be held accountable for this spectacle?
 
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motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,081
I have never really lived.
Yes, you have. You are really living a very real life at this very moment. Every life is a life that counts as a life, no matter how miserable or short...
 
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goat

goat

Just a goat trying to get in the next bus
May 18, 2021
149
"You cannot despise life if you haven't truly lived it"

What's the definition of truly living life?
Connecting to people? Having a lot of different kind of relationships? Have resources to visit and travel to many places? Reading a lot of books? Working on a important job or different jobs?

This definition is a bit vague to me.

I've lived a lot, mostly bad, but also awesome things, I saw many places and I lived many different life's within one, and I really love many things in this world.

I can't stand the pain and the suffering and the burden of my mental illnesses anymore, I also have severe traumas and some major event that would be shattering for regular, stable people with a support system will fall over me in the next weeks and I just can't possibly deal with it.

But I'd be lying if I say I hate life and this world.
It's really beautiful and amazing and I enjoyed nature a lot.

my path was unfortunate and I didn't stood a chance but I fought till where I could, and I loved all I could love :) now it's time to have some mercy towards myself and not perpetuate this horrible agonizing pain that won't leave me alone not even for a minute.
 
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Makko

Makko

Iä!
Jan 17, 2021
2,430
I don't have many complaints about the plot of this "life" saga. But I have many complaints about the setting. This world just doesn't cut it.
 
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motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,081
I don't have many complaints about the plot of this "life" saga. But I have many complaints about the setting. This world just doesn't cut it.

What's the plot, pray tell, & why do you find it acceptable?
 
Makko

Makko

Iä!
Jan 17, 2021
2,430
What's the plot, pray tell, & why do you find it acceptable?
It's a story about adventure and discovery, which is great with me. The problem is that such as story can only ever be as exciting as the setting. Not much fun exploring a world where 90 % is the same old mundane crap.
 
motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,081
It's a story about adventure and discovery, which is great with me. The problem is that such as story can only ever be as exciting as the setting. Not much fun exploring a world where 90 % is the same old mundane crap.
You need to find a way to make yourself stupid, then every day will be full of excitement & magical discoveries :sunglasses:

Billie Eilish Meme GIF by MOODMAN
Foot In Mouth GIF


You might lose the ability to earn a living, but just think of that as the beginning of a wonderful adventure :love:
 
Makko

Makko

Iä!
Jan 17, 2021
2,430
You need to find a way to make yourself stupid, then every day will be full of excitement & magical discoveries :sunglasses:

Billie Eilish Meme GIF by MOODMAN
Foot In Mouth GIF


You might lose the ability to earn a living, but just think of that as the beginning of a wonderful adventure :love:
Sure, the writer may decide to ruin my plot as well as the setting. That's why we have the whole, you know, suicide thing.
 
siray

siray

the crucified
Dec 28, 2018
178
[Removed]
I like your rhetoric, agreed with most of what you said. Having gone through extreme psychological suffering, I also didn't want anything to do with my life, wouldn't have hesitated killing myself. I had it all rationalised in my mind that death was the best thing for me. It still is best for me, though now I wish to exhaust all palliatives for my depression before I CTB.

What I meant by 'truly lived' is that there are men with robust constitutions, for whom the worth of their life isn't affected by preponderance of pain over pleasure. The greatest personal tragedies would serve as a stimuli for wanting eternal life, instead of getting disheartened by the cruelty and suffering that flesh is heir to in this world.

For such a person the momentary feeling of power justifies all past suffering, he embraces his accidental position in this world, all pain and suffering included. Belief in god, immortality or afterlife would seem like weakness to him. The only immortality he believes in is eternal recurrence (Nietzsche's philosophy).

The value of life cannot be determined by a frail organism hypersensitive to painful sensations. It of course has the right to kill itself, as it alone as a body suffers.

However it doesn't change the fact that the strong susceptibility to despair is a curse of his hypersensitive disposition, as he does not really want to die, just wants the pain to end. No one ever really wants to die, as that would make that person an absurdity, assuming the essence of all life is the will-to-power, the innermost kernel of existence. Self consciousness is a much later development in evolution, and this peculiar faculty of the mind too is slave to the will.

Men never were born equal. Like you said, lottery of life is blind luck. I am appalled there's nothing I can hold accountable for my lifelong misery, and I take zero personal responsibility for my failures.

A strong well constituted person may look at me and despise me (This has happened to me countless times, I can see the contempt in their eyes) and wouldn't consider my life as 'truly lived', and he would be totally justified in judging me so.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,391
I understand how some people can have a mostly positive experience of life, it is due to random factors which are often out of our control such as luck. Some people are simply cursed with bad luck. It can be argued that there is an difference between living and existing. I haven't as what others would state as 'truly lived', depending on the definition of what that means, I have experienced things, but a life is still a life in my opinion. Factors out of my control have made me struggle in this life, and therefore I don't see it as worth it personally.
 
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avoid_slow_death

avoid_slow_death

Ready to embrace the peaceful bliss of the void.
Feb 4, 2020
1,358
Oh but have. An interesting life full of adventures and pain. But, I am disposable, like the trash that I truly am....
 

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