Yesterday

[Flying Away]

I had planned to die. Unfortunately I was diagnosed with covid and ended up sleeping. Then last night I had a call which offered some hope. Yet today things return to normal. Not even a message asking how I am. Sleeping constantly without dreams. Waking with bouts og coughing. I thought today may have been the day I felt my hope wasn't false nonsense. I hope covid kills me as I'm too ill to make necessary preparations. If it doesn't as soon as I have strength I will continue forward to oblivion. Yesterday there was hope today that has passed. To think one action could save me, sadly it never comes

 

[Darkover]

no one going to save you, only you can save yourself

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you. Life is just so disappointing and unfair. I can imagine that it must be tiring to have hope and then lose it. I wish you relief from your suffering in whatever happens.

 

[Flying Away]

no one going to save you, only you can save yourself

Not helpful. After 58 years I know this not to be true

 

[8evergo]

Yes, covid has also failed in the most severe form, the lungs and the kidneys also failed. I was in a coma on the ICU for 10 days and was in a critical state and still 11 days on a normal ward, the doctors said I was going to die.
unfortunately I survived

 

[Darkover]

Not helpful. After 58 years I know this not to be true

good luck with that keep living in that delusional world where someone comes and saves you i can guarantee nobody is coming to rescue you so it is true

 

[8evergo]

I was and am chronically ill have multiple sclerosis diabetes in the most severe form galein problems without end asthma tinitus blood high pressure reflux disease and everything else I injured my ankle joint can no longer walk far after covid my lungs are even more fucked up and sometimes I think someone cursed me shit before life is shit