Discussion Wrote my own Obit

[killmeiwannadie]

I wrote my own obituary. It's always been part of the issue how little Im understood or how much of my identity would be overlooked. So much of who I am would be so absent from my funeral and stuff. They would definitely not use my chosen name. They wouldn't acknowledge my pronouns at all. They would write an obituary that didn't really read like they knew me at all.

I went to my mom's husband's funeral. All his relationships were really strained in the end tbh. His Obituary felt soo…generic is all i can think of but doesn't feel like the word all the way. The whole funeral was so strange to me. I don't want that at all. So many people acting in ways that didn't at all match the relationship they had. frok my mom's side. I cant really speak on his family beyond the fact that it was strained with them too.

I don't want to gave a funeral like that. I know when your gone, it doesn't exactly make much of a difference, but there are still things i want for my body.

anyways i wrote my own obit and i doubt they'd use it, but it's there as a representation of how I'd like to be described or whatever.

everyone has their own ideas about death and what they want or don't want. it probably doesn't matter to some. i just don't really like funerals. I don't want to even have certain people memorialize me. like i dint want them there. idk i just spent so much of my life feeling like im always cutting away bits of myself to fit here or there. i want there to be a version of my memorial that actually talks about who i am and not this warped idea that death creates of the person they thought i was.

if i could really have it my way id take the memory of me all together from anyone i don't want to even remember me. but alas.
sorry for the errors. didn't really proof read

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I think the only way to make sure that the obituary you wrote would be used is to give it to a friend or family member who you could trust to do the right thing, and who understands you, and to make sure in a will that this person is chosen to be the executor who will make sure your desires are carried out.

 

[killmeiwannadie]

I think the only way to make sure that the obituary you wrote would be used is to give it to a friend or family member who you could trust to do the right thing, and who understands you, and to make sure in a will that this person is chosen to be the executor who will make sure your desires are carried out.

yeah that makes sense. idk that i have anyone that i could ask that of them and trust that they wouldn't try and take action…unless i gave it to them in a "just in case i die of some other cause" way. the thing is most people around me know i'm suicidal so it would probably look like a red flag too them idk. this is a good point tho.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

yeah that makes sense. idk that i have anyone that i could ask that of them and trust that they wouldn't try and take action…unless i gave it to them in a "just in case i die of some other cause" way. the thing is most people around me know i'm suicidal so it would probably look like a red flag too them idk. this is a good point tho.

You could just stick the obit you wrote in your will, along with a stated desire to have the obit used upon your death, and hope that whoever gets put in charge of handling things has enough respect to make sure your wishes are carried out.

 

[nonialabaster]

I wrote my own obituary. It's always been part of the issue how little Im understood or how much of my identity would be overlooked. So much of who I am would be so absent from my funeral and stuff. They would definitely not use my chosen name. They wouldn't acknowledge my pronouns at all. They would write an obituary that didn't really read like they knew me at all.

I went to my mom's husband's funeral. All his relationships were really strained in the end tbh. His Obituary felt soo…generic is all i can think of but doesn't feel like the word all the way. The whole funeral was so strange to me. I don't want that at all. So many people acting in ways that didn't at all match the relationship they had. frok my mom's side. I cant really speak on his family beyond the fact that it was strained with them too.

I don't want to gave a funeral like that. I know when your gone, it doesn't exactly make much of a difference, but there are still things i want for my body.

anyways i wrote my own obit and i doubt they'd use it, but it's there as a representation of how I'd like to be described or whatever.

everyone has their own ideas about death and what they want or don't want. it probably doesn't matter to some. i just don't really like funerals. I don't want to even have certain people memorialize me. like i dint want them there. idk i just spent so much of my life feeling like im always cutting away bits of myself to fit here or there. i want there to be a version of my memorial that actually talks about who i am and not this warped idea that death creates of the person they thought i was.

if i could really have it my way id take the memory of me all together from anyone i don't want to even remember me. but alas.
sorry for the errors. didn't really proof read

I totally understand that.

Part of my Contacts envelope I'm leaving on my bedroom door will be a statement that I don't wish for a funeral or obituary. When my husband died, it took me two weeks to write his. I was still screaming and wailing around the house, until I could settle down enough to use my computer. I handwrote it out, then posted it on legacy.com and to our city newspaper.

In the meantime, my daughter had written one of her own. Mark wasn't her dad, he was her step-dad. Not posted it, because you have to have the funeral home information to do that; No rando can just post an obit. Hers was all about her. Really flowery and "Me, Me, Me!" She was super-pissed that I didn't use it.

Mine focused on Mark's heart and his passions. It was fairly short, but I think it said what it should have about the person he was. I'll be happy to share it with you, if you want to PM me. I'm trying to spend my last week helping others who are hurting.