Discussion Would you want anyone to, or let someone 'save' you? Poll

[Forever Sleep]

By this- I don't mean stop you during an attempt. I mean- in life generally. If someone took a real interest in your situation- and tried to help- would you welcome it? Do you think anyone could help you?

I'm not sure whether I'm going to get aggro for posting this here... but to defend the decision- I don't think this is about recovery. I think a lot of suicidal people feel abandoned or, they don't actually want people to 'help' them.

Either I imagine because they don't like being 'mothered'/nagged. They may feel like they know themselves better than anyone else could and find the inteference patronizing. Or, they may have trust issue with people if they have been let down in the past- so, don't want to rely on someone so heavily again. Or- they simply can't see what anyone could do to change their situation that they couldn't do themselves. They may feel their situation is impossible to change satisfactorily.

Personally, I lie more in the- 'I don't want anyone to try and 'save' me' camp. How about you?

 

[Darkover]

having a gf would improve my quality of life by making me feel better about myself and less prone to depression. but that never going to happen

 

[アホペンギン]

Yes, but I'd only allow one person to save me. I don't trust anyone else to help me and they're one of the only people who care about me and who understands me because he is suicidal himself and actually a member here on SS. If I somehow find a way to stay with him maybe there is a slight chance I could recover.

Everyone else can fuck off leave me the fuck alone when I'm trying to attempt or when I know for sure I will ctb and don't "save" me.

 

[Division Day]

If I genuinely believed that someone could help me past the issues that make me want to ctb, I'd want them to try. The problem is that no one's really succeeded in the last 10 years and no one seems to have a plan of how it could be done.

I'd rather get better than die, but dying is possible and getting better doesn't feel that way.

 

[BlackMoon]

It's mostly because I will never have a friend who could accept me entirely for who I'm, someone I could rely on, that I'm wanting to ctb.

Having a life without being yourself is not worth it.

What you describe here is for me an illusion.

 

[brokeandbroken]

Yes I would be over the moon if someone did. Is it going to happen nope. Not a fucking chance. People aren't that good.

 

[Peerless_Cucumber]

I don't want anyone to interfere with my decision making. The majority of people who tried to help me in the past ended up guilt tripping me in some way. Making me feel guilty for feeling suicidal in hopes I don't attempt again. It was never about me and I don't even want it to be. I don't want to be saved. I've never felt better about my life after someone tried to save me. If anything their attempt to help me made me feel worse for feeling the way I do. It's not my fault I feel this way and I can't just turn it off either. Their help wasn't helpful at all. If anything the attempt to help me made them feel worse when they realized they couldn't make me feel better. In turn I felt even worse because it's bad enough that I feel that way. I don't want them to feel bad as well.

If I believed that anyone could actually help me I wouldn't be here.

 

[Cheesecake]

Yes I would be over the moon if someone did. Is it going to happen nope. Not a fucking chance. People aren't that good.

people ARE that good, but theyre never in the right place at the right time.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Yes, if there was someone who actually really wanted to help and who had the means to do so I'll definitely consider it.

 

[Dankx]

I think there is a slim chance that it could work.
But I have a history with alcohol abuse (I think Im not the only one) so I'll never be able to get the medication I need. And buying it illegally - I'd never do that.
The system in my country is so bad that even after a failed attempt I won't be able to get medical attention because "your situation is not that bad"
I'm starting to see there's only one reasonable way of action.
Im broken. I can't try to survive day after day feeling like complete shit.

 

[Life_and_Death]

i had that....for years he listened to my suicidal thoughts and put up with my bullshit. never once judging me for any of it...
since being suicidal at the age of 14...today...i finally think im enough.....
but he grew up financially comfortable and refuses to let that go so we can both leave our mentally/emotionally abusive residences

i guess im not enough......
at this point why the fuck should anyone save me......

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Sure, I'd be open, should I ever come across a magic lamp.

 

[haibane]

No, and but tbh i don't think there's anything that could help me more than finding peace

 

[fishlover]

no way. no one really cares for me anyway. but, lets say i DID have a friend, aquaitance, or significant other that tried to change my mind.. id immediately drop them. i dont want a therapist, i dont want help. dont even try. ive already had strangers online try to, and it pisses me off.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

I wouldnt want to be"saved" by any means. I'd never want to put someone in that position. Even if the person went out of their way to try. Would still make me feel like garbage. But I think if someone wasn't easy to tire of me, could trust me enough to be 100% real with me and let me know the real them, and in turn accept me for who I am, I would probably consider living

 

[NoHorizon]

I would love to be saved. I'm still clutching on to any help/support I can (though that seems extremely limited because in the UK mental health is less important than basically everything else). I'm not convinced anything/anyone can/will help me, though.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

The only way another human can help me is by assisting me in my suicide. But they made that a crime so that it would be a million times more difficult ending my life by myself .

Yeah giving me a lot of money so I can make my suicide more reliable would help too. But I don't think any one would want to do that. My goal is suicide asap.

If I have a bad constant pain somewhere on this animal body only this my brain can sense the torture. And I can ask all kinds of people here in the US with shotguns "hey can you shoot me in the head and put me out of my misery?". But they won't do it instead call the police on me. But if I were a horse or dog in pain no problem

I guess here people are from other countries and don't understand where I live thousands of people close by have powerful shotguns and high velocity rifles. It would be do easy for someone to shoot me in the head if that were legal . It's not so I have to do it myself and I only get one single shot

But I'm a nihilist. Under no circumstances would I want anyone to keep me in this life... I don't care if they give me a billion $ magically fix all problems.... I want to be non-existent asap

So I answered no saving

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it frustrating when people act like wanting to die is something wrong and irrational that people need "helping" from. No, suicide is self care, and it only feels rational to me wanting to permanently be free from all suffering. Existence is the true problem and death is a relief, I have no interest in pro-lifers and their delusions, they can keep their repulsive worship of the hell that is existence to themselves.

 

[staplestable]

people have to save themselves
no one else can truly save you but yourself, although helping is another matter

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I'm too far gone to want to be saved.

 

[Kit1]

I am alive as I have children who I dearly love and need to look after. However since my first suicide attempt at 14, I have had my challenges due to CSA amongst other challenges. Right now, there is no guarantee that I will be alive by the end of the week, month, year - my children keep me going. However the SI sometime looks like a peaceful way to end the pain. I did have a supportive GP who I could call when I found myself at a cliff end, mountain, OD etc. However the NHS surgery changed the rules on how appointments can be made to be I touch with the GP - accessibility challenge and that has heavily increased my chances of dying by ctb as the one person I could call upon is no longer there to support - I refuse to call or beg for someone to keep me alive. And having stopped taking all my prescribed medications for the past two months, I know that it is only a matter of time that my life will end. I don't think I can ever trust anyone to really look out for me or to keep me alive. And I don't have the money to pay someone within private medical practise to look out for me.

The past few weeks, I have been reading so much about my fellow sufferers here. Yes - lottery of life, lottery of the medical systems that we are presented with, with the different parts of the world that we live in (I live in NW London, UK)! can be unfair. Often when I have joined I reading something of your stories that you have kindly shares, I have been angry, upset, sad and often I have felt like shouting out, writting and reaching out to you to say - " we can do this. We can make a life for ourselves despite the challenges. I know the challenges are too much and so many ofnus have been trodden upon, abused, marginalised, hurt, have physical/mental health challenges, neurodivergent and so many battles at so many fronts. Our lives have been shattered, but do we not have a right to be ever happy - in my case be free of pain, free of flashbacks and nightmares, not dissociate etc?" And often I have wanted to write and like a coward given up as I also understand that these thoughts and words don't mean much when we are in pain. As I write this, there is a rainbow outside in the sky - it feels like people who want to help can be like rainbows - they are there,but can just as easily disappear or change the rules of the games.

I have no right to write this here - especially as someone who will probably be gone anyway. But perhaps perhaps if we can believe that rainbows do exist, that there can be a positive future for all of us - that we have every right to be just as happy and feel free.

I am sorry if my words have hurt or angered any of you. I have come to respect and feel love for everyone in this group and it is a humbling experience to be allowed to share in your pain and grief - maybe it is a selfish way of me not realising that I am not totally alone, but I wish I was and I wish all your pain and grief would disappear. I hope that everyone finds happiness and peace in whatever form they seek.

Thank you fo you have patiently read to this part and once again, I am sorry if I have upset you.

 

[IsThisEverything]

No. I don't think I can be saved, but if I could it would have to come from me. I wouldn't want to let anyone try, as I don't like relying on others and value my independence.

 

[Death is my goal]

no, just no

 

[Orange Cat]

I would accept help if someone offered. It seems foolish not to when the only alternative is death. Realistically no one can save you though. The best you could hope for is that someone would try to point you in the right direction as to how you could get help in your situation.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

apologies may have been too drunk earlier

 

[Beyond_Repair]

By this- I don't mean stop you during an attempt. I mean- in life generally. If someone took a real interest in your situation- and tried to help- would you welcome it? Do you think anyone could help you?

I'm not sure whether I'm going to get aggro for posting this here... but to defend the decision- I don't think this is about recovery. I think a lot of suicidal people feel abandoned or, they don't actually want people to 'help' them.

Either I imagine because they don't like being 'mothered'/nagged. They may feel like they know themselves better than anyone else could and find the inteference patronizing. Or, they may have trust issue with people if they have been let down in the past- so, don't want to rely on someone so heavily again. Or- they simply can't see what anyone could do to change their situation that they couldn't do themselves. They may feel their situation is impossible to change satisfactorily.

Personally, I lie more in the- 'I don't want anyone to try and 'save' me' camp. How about you?

Nobody can "save" you - that's an unfair task to put on someone else. And even if they tried, I would question what their motives are for doing so. But maybe I'm just too untrusting

 

[DyingToDie123]

Last time someone tried to save me it ended in them ruining my life with a restraining order against me. So no, I don't trust anyone.

 

[gbi2]

I would like help but as I've been asking for it since 2019 but it doesn't come. It's got to the point now that I've given up just keeping my head above water. I've sold loads of my belongings, lived some days on barely a meal so on another I can afford to go fishing (goign fishing is the advice of a therapist to try to reconnect with things I used to love doing).

The help I needed a while back was good advice. I received lots of bad advice.
Now I need someone to do things liek my finances for me until they are in order and easily manageable. That's not the only thing I need direct help with. If that help can't be given now then I wont get myself back on track and if I know that isn't going to happen then whats the point of hanging on.

It seems everyone is always a step behind though, just like when things were going okay.

 

[noname223]

Depends. When saving me is defined by giving me instantly 10 million bucks right now I would take it. And praise the person as my savior.
It depends on the circumstances. I think there will always a part of me that does not want to die. Though when I think I am ready to go through with it there will be noone there to save me. It depends on the context and many variables. It depends on what will actually drive me over the edge and in which stage I will be. There are many scenarios which lead to my suicide. They are too heterogeneous to give a final answer. But I think I will be in so much pain that only death will give me relief.

 

[puella]

I wish that it were possible. I often daydream about being sent to a nice hospital full of caring and smart people. I would be saved if I had everything I needed for transitioning given to me.

But in reality I can't even get health insurance. The whole health care industry is backwards; I don't think anyone wants to help me.