Discussion Would you tell your 15 year old self to CTB?

[Scacie]

Idea by Fwompje and my dumbass for reading HadItAll's question wrong.


Ill start:
Yes. Was suicidal since 13, so I'd tell her to do it and lessen her suffering :'). Though with the benefit of hindsight, I'd tell her to transition ASAP, consequences be dammed, as everything is about to get so much worse. Though I also completely understand 15yr old mes decision to not to, so I'd support her to CTB

 

[Fwompje]

I think I wouldn't, I would tell myself to get help and go through with the recommended psychiatrist I had regardless of anxiety. Maybe I would've had a support system by now, medication, regular therapy. I have so much to deal with rn because 15-year-old me had already given up on getting better. It did get worse but I could've gotten better.

 

[Scacie]

I think I wouldn't, I would tell myself to get help and go through with the recommended psychiatrist I had regardless of anxiety. Maybe I would've had a support system by now, medication, regular therapy. I have so much to deal with rn because 15-year-old me had already given up on getting better. It did get worse but I could've gotten better.

Yea, I think we are in the same boat. I too had a psychiatrist when I was 15, and I remember vividly about how I lied about not being suicidal at all in order to get out. I really disliked her and she failed the 'vibe check'. I really wished my original psychiatrist I seen before her never left. I remember her working so hard to build trust with me and I felt that if she never left, my life would be so so much better. Ironically the psych I was seeing made my mental health worse by being cold, and I definetly understand 15 yr old me's decision to get out ASAP even though I was suicidal. If I could I'd probably do so much more than telling 15 year old me to CTB. I want to be at her side, watching her pass over, knowing that our pain will finally end

 

[FuneralCry]

I wouldn't need to tell my 15 year old self to ctb, because at that age I very much wanted to die and hated existing in this cruel world. If suicide was much easier I would had left way before that age, it's very unfortunate how we are denied reliable and painless ways to finally leave.

 

[Scacie]

I wouldn't need to tell my 15 year old self to ctb, because at that age I very much wanted to die and hated existing in this cruel world. If suicide was much easier I would had left way before that age, it's very unfortunate how we are denied reliable and painless ways to finally leave.

Sigh, same. though i would want to guide her in doing it if possible, and lessen the suffering for both of us

 

[Veraz]

Probably not. My life still sucked back then, but it wasn't 100% doom and gloom like it is now. At 15, I still had a few years of decent experiences left to be had.

Honestly though, if I could go back and talk to my former self from that time, I probably could have changed a lot. I'm much wiser now than I was then, and I'm certain if I knew the things I do at 27, all the way back in high school, things would have turned out very differently. But then again, everyone probably feels that way to some extent. Hindsight is 20/20 after all.

 

[Skathon]

That's exactly what I did when I was 15. Didn't help much...

 

[cogmachine]

yes. i wouldn't get close to people, and not have any guilt leaving.

 

[RichardFirst]

No because I would have messed it up at that age.

If I could talk to my 15 year old self, I'd give him the advice necessary to avoid the mistakes that have me here. OF course, he wouldn't listen...

 

[CandyK__]

I'd tell myself that it will get better, then worse again, better, and worse. But for some better's, it's worth to go through worse's, maybe someday it won't be true, but then it was worth it, for sure. I would tell them to keep going for more time, and see where it lands them.

 

[Source Energy]

I would tell her to take those diazepams on a different day. Not on the eve of an exam when Mom would come wake me up early and find me. I would tell her to make sure she ctb, or she will know hell on earth and be one of the most wretched people alive.

 

[Mr. Squiggles]

Idea by Fwompje and my dumbass for reading HadItAll's question wrong.


Ill start:
Yes. Was suicidal since 13, so I'd tell her to do it and lessen her suffering :'). Though with the benefit of hindsight, I'd tell her to transition ASAP, consequences be dammed, as everything is about to get so much worse. Though I also completely understand 15yr old mes decision to not to, so I'd support her to CTB

all the way. i think the thing that helped me the most was my ability to let go.
i have failed several suicide attempts but at some point i liked it.
fuck the urge to live. once ye see what you want it will be comfy to let that fire consume you.
i think i wouldnt have gained a lust for life if it wasnt for all the bullshit people fuck you with

 

[silverswan]

I wouldn't. There was still hope for the future of humanity back then. People made art, walked outside, and talked to each other instead of just texting. The world was a better place back then, and I wish I'd appreciated it more.

 

[mistake22]

Idk honestly i think I would be nice just for the hell of it. even though I think life is hopeless and dogshit I would want to be nice to a child.

 

[𖣴 nadia 𖣴]

No, I had to stick around to protect my little brother and sister from the daily violence, that's why I didn't run away by that age even though I had fantasised about being rescued from home since age 5 or 6.

Knowing what I know now, I'd want to ctb at 21 or 22 after having a good time at uni and before my mh really nose-dived, to avoid all the shit that has happened since then.

 

[orca87]

I wouldn't. I would tell my 15 year old self what pitfalls to avoid when it comes to social interactions.

 

[Himalayan]

Not at all. I would give all the answers he was looking for, then he would be an absolute beast.

 

[JudasIscariot]

Absolutely. I was already suffering greatly at that age. I would probably be dead except I had no viable method. I would also have encouraged myself to seek treatment, but I believe I was and still am greatly resistant to such common methods of treatment.

 

[junko]

I 100% would. I'd already attempted once by that age and would have 2 more attempts ahead of myself. Plus, I had access to the shit I need to actually successfully CTB, though I didn't know it at the time. I'd tell my past self what I know now and then we'd both be gone.

 

[trist]

yes, i already wanted to die back then and nothing has improved since.

 

[sick.faery]

depends on a few things. depending on that could tell them to do or just tell them how to avoid my current situation

 

[kafkasfemcel]

i don't think so. i would tell her to get therapy much earlier so i didn't have the struggles i did now, maybe if i caught onto them earlier i would find it easier to cope.

 

[arcadia]

No. I was pretty miserable at that point but I had a few good memories after that.

 

[Sluggish_Slump]

Doesn't matter because at 15 I was already suicidal, maybe I would have informed myself at that age about better methods..

 

[jerry545]

My 15 year old self had potential. Life was hard and I was confused but my current circumstances - the circumstances in which I find myself without a future - are really a combination of random decisons I made 5-6 years ago. I would tell my 15 year old self that they are probably autistic and that he should move in with his dad.

 

[dingokettle3531]

Definitely yeah, I almost attempted it back then and didn't do it because my mom arrived, afterwards I didn't try again out of fear of failing

 

[Ghostofthepast]

I been suicidal since I was 7 so almost 20 years mind you I'm only 26 so yea I would it would of saved me all this pain I am in now

 

[quiet.rabbit]

At 15 I would have told myself to get free healthcare (didn't know I was poor enough to get it) and insist on getting a therapist, get the (greatly reduced with insurance for minors!!) dental care I needed. I failed when I gave up on my body and didn't do exercise and plan to go to community college (or try to get a scholarship.) But I doubt I could pull through all that since I've never had the ability to see the big picture and strategize (still don't).

I have always had to learn what my feeling and actions indicate entirely on my own. I got nobody who cares about me and my opinions enough to form a perception of me that could compete and sharpen mine.

At the same time I took what little perspectives my family offered me and it made me view myself as an irreparable burden. By 15 my family already gave up trying to "help" me so I viewed myself as someone not worth helping. My then undiagnosed PCOS made me grow facial hair and made me feel like a freak. The bullying I faced made me lose sight of things like fun and passion. I guess I'd add on to my advice that there is no such thing as a child/teen not worth helping.

At that age we have a lot of potential, but sometimes we need to take a risk to meet the people who'll bring it out.

 

[redisblue]

Absolutely. If I could go back and tell him to do something - anything at all - to end the suffering coming his way, I would. At 15, I was somewhat content; I was still struggling with a lot but I was trying a lot more. Even still, I would tell him to do it. Everything went so downhill once I turned 16.

 

[borderline-feline]

I would tell my 11-year-old self to ctb