My wish is to permanently cease existing with this existence completely forgotten about. The true problem lies in existence itself so therefore I only wish for the peace of eternal nothingness.
In my case wanting to cease existing is all that feels rational, the only way to escape from having the ability to suffer is to die, no matter what I will always see it as preferable to not exist.
I don't desire existence, it was never something desirable in the first place, I see it as such a terrible burden having the ability to exist as a conscious being who is capable of suffering so extremely in this existence where chance so cruelly determines everything.
I'm just not meant for existing as well and I see no benefit to it, existence just causes harm, existence just creates problems there was never a need for in the first place. I'd always prefer to not exist as one cannot suffer from the absence of everything, I only envy the non-existent who are at peace now.