Discussion Would you prefer to CTB alone or with someone there?

[sadghost]

If it was more socially acceptable to CTB, would you choose to have someone with you? If so, who? Personally I wouldn't but I'm quite the introvert and I enjoy being alone. I think it could be comforting to have someone you love there before you go.

 

[BlackCatTalk]

With someone, I've been alone all my life so I wish I could go with someone

 

[restingspot]

If so, who?

My best friend. It'd fucking kill her to see me dying in front of her though so I probably wouldn't even bother even if the situation was ideal.

 

[fluffysuicidalbear]

If there are no consequences, I would go with someone, but otherwise I would feel too guilty for the possibility of creating trauma for the person.

 

[Fragile]

Alone. I wouldn't want to drag someone else with me.

 

[clocktower]

ideally i'd want to go with a family member holding my hand, feeling completely loved, but that's never going to happen. they're all prolife despite watching me suffer and things only get worse for a decade.

 

[falloutcarter13]

My best friend knows about my plan and is supporting me. He's sad as hell about it, but we have weird afterlife beliefs so he truly believes I'm just hurrying to a much better existence. We met up online 5 years ago, and we've only hung out in person on 3 occasions, but he's still the best friend a person could have. I'm struggling with this very question...he wants to "be there" with me on skype when I go and he candidly admits that its more for his closure than my comfort. I think I'd prefer to go alone, but how can I not allow him in one last time? He paid for my fucking SN, and he did it despite the fact that he doesn't want me to go.

 

[Leshen]

Alone in a place where no one would ever find my body.
Interacting with people is nothing but disappointment, I want to stay away from them in life and in death.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

In an ideal world I would want to go with loved ones holding my hand...but that will never happen so alone it is.

 

[raindrops]

With someone to hold my hand yes but of course alone without someone is probably best for the other persons mental health... then again you can sit with your dog/cat if they need euthanasia. I wish it was legal in all countries. In a perfect world you'd go to a place where they would allow it and then they'd monitor you for a week and if you feel the same after a week they would allow you to die somewhat peacefully.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

I'd want to have someone "there" somehow but would be too worried that thew would be there because I wanted the support, not because they truly wanted to be there for me.

Reading about @all_pointless"s passing touched me quite a bit. I'm so glad they got to be accompanied.

 

[catsarecool]

If it was possible without any feelings of guilt or hurt I would love to have someone with me as I die.

I'm hoping that the day I die I'll be able to play games and just have a fun time with my friends online. I'd like a one on one call with some people but I think I'd might let something slip up or become too emotional. I'm also afraid that that would add to the emotional pain for the last person who talked to me privately.

 

[UpsidedownStar]

Depends on your definition of "alone". I was really close to a particular voice in my head (before schizophrenia meds), and I'd want more than anything to CTB with them talking to me. Considering going off my meds a week before my attempt in November/December and see if they come back.

 

[nerve]

I think I'd prefer an impartial observer to be there than someone I actually know. Like maybe a nurse or chaplain or whatever. Someone who had watched people die before and didn't have any kind of emotional attachment to me but would still be present and have some idea of what to do or say.

Death is ultimately very solitary. I feel like having loved ones there would just be dragging out the process in some ways, for both of us. I'd rather say goodbye and go off on my own than cling to what I'm leaving behind up to my dying breaths.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I would not, mainly because I am an introvert anyway and want some peaceful time to think to myself before I go. On top of that, another person complicates things since there mind may change about various things while mine stays the same or visa versa.

 

[Shinkansen]

When I went to school I fantasized a lot about committing suicide with a girlfriend, I always considered it very romantic to commit suicide with the love of your life.
Unfortunately, growing up, I realized that people like me are made to die alone.

 

[InevitablePattern91]

The perfect ctb for me would be: drink N or SN and then lie in my bed, while having my parents and girlfriend holding my hands while I die.

But that's never going to happen.

So, I'll have to do it alone.

Or maybe in a videocall with someone who also will ctb at the same time.

 

[TAW122]

I always viewed CTB to be a solitary road taken by oneself. With that said, I prefer to CTB alone, under my own circumstances and terms. Plus, getting a partner has it's own risks that I'm not really prepared for or willing to accept.

 

[Meditation guide]

Depends on who it is. The video I saw of a lady at a Swiss euthanasia clinic ctb'ing had this awful old lady who worked there, who was rubbing against the one ctb'ing, with a sick smile on her face, with her cheek against her face and poking her face with sharp cat eye glasses as she was dying. That was the most horrific part for me. It's hard to describe but it looked awful, to have that being done to her as the poor lady was dying.
It looked soo fake, that lady pretending to be comforting her. She was awful.

 

[rundschlinge78]

I definitely do not want to die alone. It would be great just to be able to have someone (professionally) strangle me until dead. In reality hanging together with someone is the best i can hope for.

 

[falloutcarter13]

I'd want to have someone "there" somehow but would be too worried that thew would be there because I wanted the support, not because they truly wanted to be there for me.

Reading about @all_pointless"s passing touched me quite a bit. I'm so glad they got to be accompanied.

Your profile pic/gif distracts me from reading what you wrote every single time lol. I'm so ADD.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

Your profile pic/gif distracts me from reading what you wrote every single time lol. I'm so ADD.

I'm so sorry! I use it to find my posts among the others - I get distracted too easily and need the movement lol

 

[Nymph]

I don't have anyone I'd be comfortable to ctb with so just alone

 

[falloutcarter13]

I'm so sorry! I use it to find my posts among the others - I get distracted too easily and need the movement lol

Haha no need to be sorry, I just felt the need to say something since it just happened for the 5,000th time ='D Its like the virtual version of having to re-read the same line in a book six times cuz the person in the room with you won't stfu ='D

 

[Deleted member 18655]

You must dread my posts! LOLOLOL

 

[falloutcarter13]

You must dread my posts! LOLOLOL

Not at all, I just drive myself crazy by watching it and thinking "maybe it blows up differently this time"

 

[Deleted member 18655]

Not at all, I just drive myself crazy by watching it and thinking "maybe it blows up differently this time"

Maybe it will. I might need to switch it up slightly, just to play with you

 

[PJFord]

I've been a loner all 56 years of my life with only a few close friends, so CTBing alone makes sense I'd only like someone there to make sure I succeed. I have one friend who I just visited this weekend and debated telling him my plans. He has expressed some issues and comments like maybe he's thinking about it too. I didn't discuss with him but still may. I thought I'd read (at least here in California) that if someone knows in advance of a suicide and doesn't intervene they can potentially be prosecuted. If true, I would never want to put anyone in that situation.

 

[reareq]

I have trouble finding/acquiring materials necessary to ctb, so I've considered getting a partner from the megathread a lot but in the end I'm not comfortable with it, and it'd be horrific to the person who'd have to discover 2 dead people at the same time lol. I prefer doing things alone.

 

[stationarymillennial]

Depends on who it is. The video I saw of a lady at a Swiss euthanasia clinic ctb'ing had this awful old lady who worked there, who was rubbing against the one ctb'ing, with a sick smile on her face, with her cheek against her face and poking her face with sharp cat eye glasses as she was dying. That was the most horrific part for me. It's hard to describe but it looked awful, to have that being done to her as the poor lady was dying.
It looked soo fake, that lady pretending to be comforting her. She was awful.

Yes.. yes... I hate this.

Edit: whoops for got to answer. I would want to go with someone. I think it would be metal to make a pact, but finding someone who is on the exact same page seems necessary and also seems somewhat of a pipe dream. I'll end up going alone.