I def would not max them out bc I would feel guilty, but at the same time nothing really brings me much pleasure so spending $ seems useless. I took a walk around the mall one last time before xmas, just bc I had time and nothing to do and wanted to see how it changed since I haven't been inside for over a year (whereas I worked there for over 4 years while in high school). Anyway, all i saw were the same things I've seen over the years, the same clothes, the same styles, the same jewelry, a few new gadgets, the same excited shoppers while I COULD NOT CARE LESS about any of it. I DID NOT WANT 1 thing. That actually made me feel like I am getting closer and closer to being ready. I've been feeling myself pulling away from earthly desires in general, and getting antsy just to get it over and done with. I like that b/c its clear I'm making peace with what I must do.
The one thing I have been doing lately to treat myself and putting it on a card (despite having the cash to pay for it) is just getting takeout food WHENEVER I FEEL like it, which is quite the opposite to before which was always worrying about how much it would cost and feeling guilty that i already have food at the house.
I suppose if I was mobile, (right now I'm basically mostly home bound and need to be on many daily meds (intravenous ones) which need to be kept cold in a fridge and I have very low energy) but if i was mobile I would have put a nice trip to the tropics on a card, where the water is that crystal clear blue color.