At the very least I will leave a note for the police, indicating my basic information, the method (if gas is used for example), and that it was done of my own free will.
If I do leave notes for my family and husband, it is because I think they deserve to have something to help process everything and think more positively about everything. Saying it's not their fault and that nothing could have been done, thanking them for the things they have done...
But in reality, I don't fucking have the energy for that shit and I really don't want to. I just want to be forgotten completely, and for my suffering to be irrelevant. it would all be bullshit, but I think I probably should for their sakes so I will try to work up the motivation. I'm just too tired to explain anything. Especially with my husband, I know he knows all my reasons and thoughts in depth - writing them down is nothing but turmoil for me. I do think I should specifically ask him not to hurt himself (by CTB himself or by relapsing on drugs) while he is still actively grieving. He used to be very depressed and suicidal, but has genuinely improved his outlook so much and gotten through it to a place where he doesn't consider himself significantly depressed (which is amazing and crazy to me). But I am afraid that he may revert to being suicidal following my own suicide, especially during the acute grieving stage. I think a note may help prevent that if I word it correctly.