Discussion would you leave a note or not? why?

[lazyegg]

just curious on what your thoughts are on notes in general and what you will write in them.

 

[Ambivalent1]

A note with an emergency contact. Words are unnecessary. The living and their puny brains can't understand mindsets that aren't their own.

 

[Unsure and Useless]

Personally, I think they are useful, even if the people reading it won't understand. As someone who frequently holds back what they want to say, the concept of one's final words where one is unable to receive any consequences for what they say is liberating, and there's something annoying about people "misinterpreting" your reasons to CTB. Although, I can see why some people see the whole thing as pointless.

Most likely, I'd write an actual essay instead of a note, detailing all my grievances I've had with specific people and life in general. After I'm dead seems like the right time as any to inform people of how I really felt all these years.

 

[Wyldfyre4948]

Since I decided to ctb I've been recording videos on my iPad to serve as goodbyes. The nights I attempted I record new ones just in case. One night I even wrote a note telling whoever enters my apartment to call ems and not enter themselves.

 

[ApparentlyNot]

At the very least I will leave a note for the police, indicating my basic information, the method (if gas is used for example), and that it was done of my own free will.

If I do leave notes for my family and husband, it is because I think they deserve to have something to help process everything and think more positively about everything. Saying it's not their fault and that nothing could have been done, thanking them for the things they have done...

But in reality, I don't fucking have the energy for that shit and I really don't want to. I just want to be forgotten completely, and for my suffering to be irrelevant. it would all be bullshit, but I think I probably should for their sakes so I will try to work up the motivation. I'm just too tired to explain anything. Especially with my husband, I know he knows all my reasons and thoughts in depth - writing them down is nothing but turmoil for me. I do think I should specifically ask him not to hurt himself (by CTB himself or by relapsing on drugs) while he is still actively grieving. He used to be very depressed and suicidal, but has genuinely improved his outlook so much and gotten through it to a place where he doesn't consider himself significantly depressed (which is amazing and crazy to me). But I am afraid that he may revert to being suicidal following my own suicide, especially during the acute grieving stage. I think a note may help prevent that if I word it correctly.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes- If I do it, it's the only way I'm going to be able to say goodbye. It's not like words are going to do much but hopefully, they are better than nothing. I've been grateful when loved ones left me notes- after natural deaths.

Plus- from the police investigative standpoint- I think it's important to leave a hand written note saying it was a suicide and that no one else knew or was involved. I aso want to re-stipulate that the SN I bought from IC was bought in good faith to cure meat. There was no mention of suicide. I don't want them adding my death to their investigation. That's if I have the guts to do it one day...

 

[WaveringLight]

I mean ultimately, it won't really matter because you won't be around to see how your death will impact the world/your people. At least, that is my belief. However, during my attempt roughly 5 months ago, I felt my notes were my last omen as a human being and as the person I am to the ones who loved/cherished me. I felt it was important to briefly explain the situation, but most importantly, personalize each message to help uplift each person. Telling them not to lament over my passing and go forward with their lives, do great things, all that jargon. And thank them for being a part of my life and caring for me. But I know a note would do little, perhaps even worsen the pain of my absence. It's mainly to provide clarity and ensure they knew how much they meant to me. Writing those notes in preparation made what I thought would be my last day of life complete.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I don't know. When I was close to CTB a while ago I didn't know what to really say/write down. I actually don't care about anything after leaving!! That's not my problem any more!

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess that leaving a note could be beneficial as it means that those left behind have some sort of explanation rather than being left with nothing, but anyway I believe that nobody is owed an explanation, it isn't like anybody is obligated to leave one, we all have our right to die and in my case existence in itself would be enough to justify the decision to voluntarily cease existing.