I wrote a letter, recounting the last five years and how it went downhill. It spans across seven pages. It was done with the intent of detailing my better days. I guess some of the story may be worthless but I made an accurate time line. I scrunched up the last page, though. I feel like I couldn't possibly say enough to my mother - we have a troubled relationship and this will come right after Mothers Day here in Aus. I dont want her to feel responsible or believe I acted out of spite. I'm very worried for my younger brother as he's already a reclusive isolated type, in a small country town. I know how "selfish" this is so it's hard to conclude. The grief, the phone calls, the disposal of my belongings, a funeral etc. How can I apologise and wish them well knowing how much damage I'll inflict upon their lives?