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Would you help someone over the edge
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Hard to say. Part of me wants to comfort them, and tell them it will be all right, yada yada, but knowing how it feels to be in that position I couldn't bring myself to do that.
I guess I'd avoid try to avoid talking to someone who's at a serious risk of suicide IRL though, because of the horrible mental state I'm in, I feel like I would just drag them down more.
I wouldn't. It's a reason I don't participate in goodbye threads. I'd feel like I'd have blood on my hands. I understand the thought process but I still don't want to entertain it. I feel like no one in my life deserves suicide except for me.
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RueTheRavenPrincess, sikewardgirl, GnosticRevenant and 10 others
It depends.
If we are doing it together then sure. I would be willing to assist in any way. I would drag them with me to fall or kick the stool from underneath us or help administer a substance.
If it's just the other person then the best I can do is emotional support. I would always feel like I forced them to do it no matter how many times the other person would assure me that it's what they want.
There is always the possibility of backing out and I wouldn't know how to deal with it. Obviously SI is a thing. I wouldn't be able to differentiate between "it's SI, help me overcome it by forcing me" and "it's SI and I actually want to abort"
I wouldn't. It's a reason I don't participate in goodbye threads. I'd feel like I'd have blood on my hands. I understand the thought process but I still don't want to entertain it. I feel like no one in my life deserves suicide except for me.
No. I completely refuse to engage in giving methods and helping people reach that level. If it was like, a full scale assisted suicide kind of thing, then yes, I'd stay by their side when the process was done and the nurses were there. But just a regular situation where my friend says they're ready or something, I just can't be a bystander. I cannot do it. I would never call the cops on someone for that, nor do I want to put anyone in a psych ward, but no way I would just stand there. I'd have to say something until the very end. We all have the choice of whether we want to live or die, I respect that- but I cannot personally allow it if it's right in front of me, occurring within my reach to change it. I just can't.
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halleyscomet, sikewardgirl, GnosticRevenant and 4 others
No. I agree with Saturn. I don't participate in goodbye threads, nor give people methods/links to threads that contain methods, because I would feel responsible.
For me, it's the same as giving tips to someone that hasn't got an eating disorder, and then if I did, and they developed one, I would be responsible.
No, because my own mental health means I don't trust myself enough to know what's the right thing to do. On this forum, I warn people when they're contemplating something potentially damaging with low risk of death or where it will involve members of the public, and I have reported other members who say they are going to encourage others, but otherwise I only use the hug reaction to acknowledge their suffering. It's too overwhelming, just thinking about it hypothetically. I'm definitely the wrong person to ask lol
No, you can never know when someone is actually ready unless you are that person yourself. That would haunt me forever. I'm all for wishing people the best of luck in whichever way that may be, but I'd never try to further convince someone.
It's really difficult to say - it's a complex thing here. The courage one needs must come from themselves and their innermost beliefs. Help can only come in a way of substances and administering them like it is possible in legal euthanasia.
I actually thought about this.
I even wondered if I could pay someone.
I don't need encouragement.
I would pay them to ensure I succeed.
I remember it used to be a show called Mary Kills.
It was a woman who was a doctor by day.
And euthanized by night.
I used to think if I could afford to do something like that I would.
If I could assist someone with a peaceful method and ensure they pass I would.
No. It is their own free choice to do so. I can help them as best as I can by providing method resources, empathy, or trying to give them ways that they could try to continue journeying through life. :)
I will happily listen to someone. I'll listen to them and their pain. If they're out of options for help I mourn that loss with them. I will tell someone if their method won't work/would be slow and painful because I don't want people to go through unnecessary suffering. But to sit there and tell someone the right way to do it or help them across feels so dirty to me. I personally wouldn't want someone there with me while I do it (unless I was on hospice or something of that nature), I don't want them to live with that trauma or the guilt that they killed me. I would hate to battle with myself over whether or not I accidentally said things in a way that coerced them when all I would mean to do is acknowledge their pain. I wouldn't stop someone who said they were planned and ready, but I would keep myself as far away as possible because I cannot live knowing that I was a part of someone's death. I would be with them, listening, comforting, hugging them as long as I could until they said "I'm ready". Then it is their choice I cannot bear being a part of that.
It's the same reason I don't engage in goodbye threads. It hurts me to see people go. I'm happy that they're no longer suffering. But it's a reminder of how horrible life can get for people that they were brought to that point. That life failed them that badly. And I don't want my wishes for peace to come off the wrong way. So I wish them peace in my head and I hope that whatever happens for them they are content, be it in life or death. Because no one deserves to suffer so badly they are drawn to suicide.
My perspective is if they need help finding the courage, then they are not ready and still have an attachment to life. If they have given that up and just wanted someone to be with them in their last moments or to double-check their method is foolproof, then I would support them in that way.
It's hard to say because on one hand you feel responsible to gave him a methode but on the other hand if they were suffering enough it also would be tough to handled, either way it's a lose-lose situation for me.
But let's say that maybe assisted suicide is a legal thing in my country, instead of giving them a methode to do it, im just gonna direct them to psychiatrist who know's better about ctb more than me and gave less painful death.
I would listen to them, I would let them say their piece.
I would lend my ear and stand with them. If they want me to, I'll respond to how they're feeling, help them make sense of all the clutter in their head.
I'll offer them some company, but I will not tell them not to ctb. I will give them that choice, but if they do choose to step from the ledge I'll welcome them with open arms and give them some comfort they most likely need.
If they do choose to step off of the ledge, I'll be by their side so they don't have to die alone.
It feels hypocritical, but I wouldn't purposely try to help someone commit cbt; I say it is hypocritical because I have had my moments of wanting a "cbt buddy." What I choose to do, just as they choose to do, comes down to choice. What they end up doing is up to them and vice versa.
Regardless, I would do what I could to listen to them and be a safe place. I think helping someone else successfully/pushing someone to commit would just be the cherry on the top of the cake (in terms of a reason for myself to cbt). It's easier to look at yourself with a million reasons why you should die, but it's a hell of a lot harder to look at a stranger with the same mindset.
I wouldn't. How could I be certain that some one else was really ready to take such a step? I can't read someone else's mind. I found that often many people who are suicidal aren't very sure themselves if they really want to go through with it or not. They flip flop back and forth. I wouldn't want to project my own
feelings about it onto them and assume
anything.
I believe that when someone doesn't have any more doubts that it's the right decision for them, and they reach a point where they really want to die 100 percent, they will find the courage to go through with it. If they can't find the courage to go through with it then they still have doubts and aren't ready.
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