Discussion Would you date someone suicidal/depressed?

[_Minsk]

If out of nowhere a person appears, being interested in you/being with you, would go for it?
and what would you think in that kind of scenario?

 

[RepressedMind]

I think I would chose not to date, because right now I just want to kill myself.

 

[suffering]

I wouldn't... i am already depressed enough. I want to date someone simple, who never thinks or talks about existential stuff

 

[BitterlyAlive]

This is difficult to think about. I wouldn't want someone to date me; it wouldn't be fair to them. I was also in a really bad relationship where my ex would threaten to kill himself or self harm if I upset him or tried breaking up with him. I don't want anyone to think that I feel this way to manipulate them...

 

[SpottedPanda]

I have dated someone who was suicidal and depressed. It did not go well. To me she seemed like a drama addict and everything was theatrically bad.

That's not to say all people are like that. I'd be cool to date. Now if only I didn't look like an elephant's foot.

 

[Darksektori]

Yes pretty much every girl I dated had issues, one gf committed herself the day I after gave her flowers for valentine's day. Needless to say I was never a fan of that holiday anyway.

 

[raindrops]

no but I say no only because my long term relationship broke down a few months ago so I'm depressed.
they do say you can only truly love someone once you love yourself first

 

[Y78]

OFCOURSE ! i would date and than we could ctb together! :0)

 

[Lunarhour]

It would be irresponsible for me to date someone with my mental illness. I need alot of..quiet time i guess you could say. I'm not low energy but i need stable controlled energy. No, I wouldn't date someone who is suicidal. How are they going to give affection and take care of my needs when they cant even love themselves?

A blowjob behind the chicken coop will do. Maybe sneak some eggs afterwards before farmer Joe comes out with the shotty loaded with saltrice...If farmer Joe catches us ill just put the blame on her, she will be too depressed to defend herself anyways so ill probably get out of that situation Scott-free hehehe.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I'm confused between the title and the post. Not sure if you're talking about being approached by someone who is experiencing suicidality and depression, or doing the approaching.

I wouldn't approach someone because they can't fix me or carry my burdens, I would want those things resolved first. Otherwise, it will turn into a co-dependence scenario with conflict over who is responsible for whom and for what issues. I own my own shit and don't want another trying to own it for me or to fix me, and I find it hard to imagine that someone could build emotional intimacy with me and be able to not take any of that on. Therefore, I'd have to question why they'd be willing to get involved if not to try to make me into something I'm currently not. If they're okay with me feeling that way and still being intimate with me, I'd wonder what they're getting out of it. It just feels like a recipe for a whole mess of enmeshment or enabling of sick motivations and behaviors, just one big ball of yuck that will keep growing like yeasty bread in an oven, or perhaps more like a souffle with hopes of it being tasty, but is only going to grow, blow up, get scorched, and collapse.

If someone approached me who was experiencing those things, I would decline. Those are heavy and consuming issues they bring, and while I have compassion for them, getting emotionally intimate means getting emotionally intimate with their issues. I already have enough of my own heavy stuff to deal with. Even if we had like issues, being "equally yoked," I think we'd be more likely to pull each other down than lift each other up. I don't want to get yoked to more suffering in the false hope it will bring comfort to do so.

 

[Good4Nothing]

Sure, why not. Maybe we'll both find something to live for.

they do say you can only truly love someone once you love yourself first

I don't believe that anymore. I think I could love myself if I had somebody to love, because I like myself better when I'm in love.
I'm more positive, less angry. More generous, more patient. Closer to the me I wish I could be.
I don't know if I'll ever be able to love myself, though, truthfully.
I'd be happy if I could just not hate myself.

 

[yellow_boat]

I think this question should be adressed to non-suicidal people...

 

[ERASED]

I would. I see it more as helping each other feel more accepted and giving each other hope.

 

[IwishIwasAttractive]

thats the dream

 

[SunInTheShade9]

Multiple times, never ends well.

 

[raindrops]

I don't believe that anymore. I think I could love myself if I had somebody to love, because I like myself better when I'm in love.
I'm more positive, less angry. More generous, more patient. Closer to the me I wish I could be.
I don't know if I'll ever be able to love myself, though, truthfully.
I'd be happy if I could just not hate myself.

It's kinda true we're better people when we are in love, we feel great but of course true love never runs smooth.
everyday I say "if only I had someone who loved me, if only I had my soulmate the love of my life by my side I wouldn't feel this way"
then I think... what if I had a hobby I loved? or just something I enjoyed, an interest like reading or music maybe then I would be happier?
11 years I was with my ex-partner, I'll be honest I was obviously infatuated, everything was all about him, him, him.
I just felt better when I was with him so I lost interest in anything because all I was interested in was him!
If I find something I love like a hobby or whatever then I would have something I could love about myself, then I could have me time in a relationship
I wouldn't be so obsessed about being with that person 24/7 if I had something I loved and enjoyed other than my relationship.
Plus if you have a hobby (not saying you haven't) you might even find the love of your life while doing whatever it is then you'd have a shared interest...I dunno, I'm hopeful. I'm sorry as well I type a lot of crap so don't mind me

 

[K-O]

my two lovers i was most in love with in my life ctb..
it destroys you.
it was worth it for me. but tbh im not at all sure a lot of people could recover from a loss of a soul mate not only "being suicidal" but being actively suicidal and ctb while your together..
if a break up is hard- loosing someone for reals can be the end of you!
(so as a ctb method?-yes)

 

[HappyMstake]

Been there done that my ex was just as depressed as I was, it didn't help either of us. Then after we split he found someone that actually put in the effort and time to help him and is happier than ever. Misery loves company but I don't think I could date another suicidal person and quite frankly I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna be around long enough to start a relationship with someone anyway.

 

[lostangel]

I know it's a double standard for me but I wouldn't. They would keep me in the same mental state. I would avoid dating altogether because I don't want to get attached and heartbreak.

 

[Mr2005]

My fear is she will be if I die

 

[Acerakis]

I probably would because I am stupid like that and would want a partner even if we would likely be bad for each other due to our own mental health problems. I got a bit messed up by a friend with BPD who would hit on me and then back off if I ever showed any interest in return. I have accepted I won't have a long term partner and I don't think its needed. But as I say, I am an idiot so I would probably say yes anyway.

 

[Anonymoussn]

I think I have an instinct to think about and plan for the future when I'm with someone. And so I would find it hard to be with someone who doesnt want any future. For me it would be the equivalent to if I new someone was planning on breaking up with me. Why would I want to be with them if they have every intention of ending the relationship? Whether that be because they plan to ctb or for some other reason is not relevant in my eyes.

 

[Vault of Memories]

I think I would chose not to date, because right now I just want to kill myself.

I've felt this way ever since I first began having suicidal thoughts, which is why I've never really dated. Figured there was no point if I'd be gone soon. Also I kept my depression a secrecy and knew they'd think something was up if they were around all the time and saw how much I had to have time to myself to just lay in bed.

 

[deadgirlahsatan]

Yes i would date someone like that. We could die together.Right now i am dating someone who has a temper prob if i even mention suicidal thoughts and threatens to leave me.

 

[Bct]

Personally I want the feelings to be mutual. If it's only her who is interested in me, I don't think I would go for it.

If the feelings are mutual, I think I'll go for it so at least I'm able to experiencing a love before die, but realistically I'm too depressed to find a girlfriend despite longing for one.

 

[krsu]

I hope my girlfriend will be ok after I go...

 

[Lorntroubles]

My depression has moved into major suicidal thoughts and careful planning. If someone were to take interest in me, I would not reciprocate as I am too fucked up at this point. Back when I was passively suicidal, I dated and could give the energy for it. Not interested at all nowadays.

 

[Darksektori]

"The language of love letters is the same as suicide notes"
Cortney Love

 

[Epsilon0]

Yes, if that person and I fell in love, I woud definitely date him.

But I think a monkey has a better chance of writing a Shakespearean play than I do finding love.

 

[lovehate22]

at this point my life I would go with the flow and embrace it

I remember in previous years there were times when girls would actually approach me and literally do all of the work , but because I am so socially inept I would still find a way to fail lol