Would you be less suicidal if you had friends and a community you belonged to?

[pinkcanvasshoes]

Yes I would feel less suicidal. Right now I feel I don't belong anywhere

 

[OrcWitch]

I think so. I have some internet friends but I struggle with communities and that sort of thing. I have joined discord communities but I can't seem to find belonging in them. I try to do the right social techniques, such as reducing "I" statements, talking about ideas instead of myself, doing reflective listening and paying attention to people, asking questions, being authentic. But there is this quality of "it" that some people posses that makes them likeable and the center of attention and fit into communities, and I do not seem to have "it". It has always been something I wanted.

On the other hand, I am glad I choose to be myself instead of pretending to be someone else so that I have community. And I am fine with 1 on 1 friendships.

 

[Debbie Northampton U]

Having a community around me would be the answer to my dreams, but for some reason, I don't get anything out of conversation. I find it boring and draining and so I spend my time alone and that's also boring and draining, so I can't win. I've never met anyone who hates talking and finds it all so zzzzz.

 

[zi99]

Maybe having relationship would help me to recover, but sometimes it is also fucking up

 

[Ash]

To belong anywhere I'd have to be a completely different person so probably wouldn't be suicidal!

 

[TheHatedOne]

Absolutely. I wish I was accepted at least for a second.

 

[Debbie Northampton U]

It's all about belonging to a community.

 

[Manaaja]

Yes. I want to go for a walk together, play tennis, chat about anime/manga/games etc., play video games together, draw together. It would be nice to have someone to call, and someone who'd call me. I'd also feel safer and more secure if I knew I had a friend who defended me and helped me.

 

[wait.what]

I have friends and do belong to a community. Still suicidal. I suppose I might feel even worse if I were entirely isolated, but it's hard to say. The thing about depression is that it makes you feel entirely alone even if you aren't. It's like living in a plexiglass cell where you can see and hear others, but you're still entirely cut off from them. No idea what to do about that.

 

[callme]

Having a community around me would be the answer to my dreams, but for some reason, I don't get anything out of conversation. I find it boring and draining and so I spend my time alone and that's also boring and draining, so I can't win. I've never met anyone who hates talking and finds it all so zzzzz.

You what? Hate talking about the weather?! I can't Adam and Eve it!

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Nope. I actually have plenty of friends and communities (including the ones from here!) and I'm still quite suicidal.

Only a romantic relationship can save me but that's impossible for someone like me, mainly because I'm the kind of person who can only be saved by a romantic relationship.

 

[Chockles]

No it's my Physical that makes me suicidal. I've always been a little socially awkward but as long as I had distractions in community & nature I was ok. Now bed ridden 9 months in agony my life is over

 

[Debbie Northampton U]

You are all quite right - it's different for everyone. I can quite happily be single (actually love it) but not being able to make friends kills me.

And CallMe, I do actually like talking about the weather funnily enough. It's the only thing I can think of to talk about for one reason, and I love the rain and warm weather - but still after five minutes, I'm bored and empty lol.

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

Yeah, of course. But I just.. don't fit in and now I have social phobia out of the ass. It's getting to a point where I'm terrified of anyone outside of my immediate family.

 

[Debbie Northampton U]

I can't even allow my family to see me - not for ten years. I just hate talking lol. Don't know why, I'd rather read a good book, be with animals or watch TV/research stuff online. Never met anyone who feels the same.

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

I can't even allow my family to see me - not for ten years. I just hate talking lol. Don't know why, I'd rather read a good book, be with animals or watch TV/research stuff online. Never met anyone who feels the same.

I used to be a regular blabbermouth. But I've had years of being too loud, too ranty, too negative (conveniently no one remembers the 90% of the time I was optimistic and chirpy).

I just feel like I've been stabbed a thousand times and it's as though I'm closing down now.

 

[Debbie Northampton U]

Are you ok with your family? Chatting and stuff? When you say, "stabbed in the back" do you mean people have turned on you for having strong ranty opinions?

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

Are you ok with your family? Chatting and stuff? When you say, "stabbed in the back" do you mean people have turned on you for having strong ranty opinions?

Yeah, I'm pretty similar to my family so.. if I stay away from confessing to being damaged, I'm alright.

Not stabbed in the back (well, that too) but just stabbed. They always turn on me and take aim at everything about me and my shit hobbies and tastes and I'm fucking done. I just wonder if I'm such a fucking demon, why did you hang with me? I haven't changed. It's everyone and I don't even want to recover from this one.

 

[Debbie Northampton U]

I get it. Life is just too hard for many of us. I've done all the therapy but it doesn't work for all of us. In fact, I read an article recently about DBT therapy not working for most who use it. Another government twatfest.

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

I get it. Life is just too hard for many of us. I've done all the therapy but it doesn't work for all of us. In fact, I read an article recently about DBT therapy not working for most who use it. Another government twatfest.

Therapy can't change the fact that things are shit.

 

[Brokensaddle]

I feel it's impossible for me to be part of a community. My personality, temperament, social class, and status as an immigrant, basically make it impossible for me to belong anywhere.

Do you think you would have something to live for if you were part of a community?

Yes I having friends and family would be amazing. I grow up with hardly any friends and my family is extremely abusive. Have such things would greatly improve my life as I would have sense of belong and achievement. I could have the possibility of going to people and explaining my problems and find good coping mechanisms. Unfortunately life doesn't give such fair hands to everyone. So you make do with the community you can find and hopefully they accept you for who. Not having human connection simply lead to miserable where you spend time in darkness with your loneliness watch other people and wishing so desperately it could be you. I'm still trying to find a community or group of friends. I'm working on it.

 

[lifecouldbedream]

If I had friends who cared I likely would not be committing suicide or doing stupid things.

 

[Littlepaws]

I have friends and belong to a couple of communities, yet I'm at my lowest point ever.

 

[netrezven]

Well i have my place and my people and honestly, no one has any problem risking their life in order to protect the others, me included. It's kind of suicidal way to live the life you want.