Would this have been a dealbreaker for you?

[Kramer]

I was in class a few years ago and I met this cute white hispanic girl. She sat next to me. She was neutral leaning toward liking me, but it was never clear. Anyway, one day she says, "but you're white." I don't even know how it was relevant, and she didn't say it in a joking way.

I remember thinking that she wouldn't have dared say, "but you're black. "

 

[Nymph]

What do you mean "one day", did she say it out of nowhere? I need more context lol

But yeah I don't think anyone would say the opposite. I mean you can have a preference in race when it comes to dating without being racists but it would sound worse if someone said the opposite even when it just comes to preference

 

[Kramer]

What do you mean "one day", did she say it out of nowhere? I need more context lol

But yeah I don't think anyone would say the opposite. I mean you can have a preference in race when it comes to dating without being racists but it would sound worse if someone said the opposite even when it just comes to preference

I don't remember the context but it definitely shouldn't have led to what she said with a look of disgust. Over the following months, she warmed up more and would look at me expectantly, but I had decided against trying to get her number. What she said wasn't okay. Her skin was whiter than mine lol

 

[Nymph]

I don't remember the context but it definitely shouldn't have led to what she said with a look of disgust. Over the following months, she warmed up more and would look at me expectantly, but I had decided against trying to get her number. What she said wasn't okay. Her skin was whiter than mine lol

I see, well I do think that was a good decision because there's better ways to express that someone prefers a different race when it comes to dating and it shouldn't involve a look of disgust...so it's probably for the better

 

[Kramer]

I see, well I do think that was a good decision because there's better ways to express that someone prefers a different race when it comes to dating and it shouldn't involve a look of disgust...so it's probably for the better

It wasn't about dating since the preceding thing wasn't me showing interest. She just wrote me off for no reason despite continuing to talk to me afterward.

 

[Isadeth]

I probably would have responded sarcastically. "And?"

 

[Kramer]

I probably would have responded sarcastically. "And?"

I should've said, "you're whiter than me."

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

We've definitely had threads like this before asking how much race is a factor when selecting a partner. I think people should be entitled to refuse any race they feel like just as much as anyone can refuse their race. If that's her take then she probably wasn't right for you anyway and she's certainly not the norm.

I'm way more used to getting rejected for my race anyway. Asians are the least-swiped males on Tinder (though this could be mostly South Asians not East Asians). The only Asian men women seem to like are Kpop singers and we can't all be those. At least white men can have somewhat more range in what attracts women. I figure if that's the way people are going to be then I'm just going to keep my standards high as well and not settle for anything less nor should I want anyone else to have to settle for me. So yes, of course it would be a dealbreaker for me if they don't like my race.

 

[Kramer]

We've definitely had threads like this before asking how much race is a factor when selecting a partner. I think people should be entitled to refuse any race they feel like just as much as anyone can refuse their race. If that's her take then she probably wasn't right for you anyway and she's certainly not the norm.

I'm way more used to getting rejected for my race anyway. Asians are the least-swiped males on Tinder (though this could be mostly South Asians not East Asians). The only Asian men women seem to like are Kpop singers and we can't all be those. At least white men can have somewhat more range in what attracts women. I figure if that's the way people are going to be then I'm just going to keep my standards high as well and not settle for anything less nor should I want anyone else to have to settle for me. So yes, of course it would be a dealbreaker for me if they don't like my race.

No one seems to be comprehending what I'm saying. This thread is only about dating in the sense that I could've asked her out but chose not to. I didn't ask her out and get the reply I did from her.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

No one seems to be comprehending what I'm saying. This thread is only about dating in the sense that I could've asked her out but chose not to. I didn't ask her out and get the reply I did from her.

So she didn't actually say that to you?

 

[Kramer]

So she didn't actually say that to you?

She did but the conversation had nothing to do with me showing interest and then being rejected. We still talked afterward in every class session. I just kept that comment in mind and never asked for her number.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

She did but the conversation had nothing to do with me showing interest and then being rejected. We still talked afterward in every class session. I just kept that comment in mind and never asked for her number.

Oh. Well like I said it would be a dealbreaker for me too if someone said something like that to me so it's understandable.

 

[Kramer]

Oh. Well like I said it would be a dealbreaker for me too if someone said something like that to me so it's understandable.

Yeah it wasn't very nice.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Gotta bring out a forbidden racial slur and commit social suicide to retaliate and defend your honor