Help Would love to hear some thoughts on the morality of my position

[feelingtrapped]

Hello Everyone,
I've been suffering with severe depression for the last 8 months- very severe. I've tried almost everything- meds, ketamine, TMS, exercise, therapy and now I am in the hospital trying ECT. I'm a version of myself I no longer recognize.

I have loving parents and siblings and some friends who are very supportive. I mostly came to to the hospital for them. If this doesn't work though I really don't see any option other than to CTB. The thought of hurting my family is awful but I truly believe it will be worse if they just have to continue to watch me suffer. And I have no interest in being this sad person. It's just constant torture. And my memory and cognition are terrible. I'll likely have to go on disability whereas most of my life I was high functioning. Is it wrong that I want to morally end things so that most of my life I was able to live with dignity? I also feel
Myself turning into a bitter person becuae of all the things I don't get to have and do now. I don't want that to happen. Is that selfish or not? I truly don't know

Feel
Free to post here or PM me if you're willing to chat. Would love to hear some thoughts ( I know no one can tell me what to do)

Many thank

 

[FuneralCry]

The reality is that nobody is obligated to stay here and suffer, it's a personal decision when to exit this world and anyway we are destined for nowhere but death anyway, losing people is just inevitable as long as one exists here, if people don't want to deal with loss then they shouldn't procreate.

 

[Challu]

The reality is that nobody is obligated to stay here and suffer, it's a personal decision when to exit this world and anyway we are destined for nowhere but death anyway, losing people is just inevitable as long as one exists here, if people don't want to deal with loss then they shouldn't procreate.

Funeralcry doesn't budge.

 

[AnonymousS]

Funeralcry doesn't budge.

As balanced as ever....

 

[feelingtrapped]

Anyone willing to chat?

 

[TAW122]

I second what @FuneralCry said. I don't think it's wrong at all to leave and it is a personal decision that only the individual can make. Nobody should determine whether one should continue to suffer or not.

 

[feelingtrapped]

Im
Willing to suffer for my family if there is hope but right now the suffering seems pointless. And that I'm just making it worse for myself and them.