I wish I had a partner. You are lucky someone is by your side and wants to keep you close. I want to die because of loneliness, I only love one person, I refuse to love someone else or even try. I wanna ctb so he goes "I miss her for real now, it could of been better" you're not selfish, the way I think is selfish.
This may sound annoying, cheesy, unfair but can't you just stay together, do things like walks to the forest or beach, picnics, watch the sunset, listen to music, make dinner, cuddle in bed, mini trips away or if not something like camping in the garden/on the beach. I'm cheesy but you have something I want that would make me want to live. People tell me to do these things with "friends" but none of it is the same, so I get how stupid I sound telling you this.