Would it affect your ctb plans if you found out you could be terminally ill?

[Sweet Tart]

I had some out of range labs and got scheduled to see a Hematologist in a department called Hematology Oncology. I know it's fucked up but it's giving me hope for a terminal condition.

My primary care doc didn't tell me anything about what my lab results could suggest. All I have to go on is that I've had 2 sets of labs and was given a specialist appointment extremely fast. Appointment availability obviously depends on factors besides possible severity of condition, but it's at least something to consider...

If you found out you were seriously ill, would you continue making plans to ctb or wait to see if another kind of death is anticipated?

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

i guess it would depend on how much pain the illness would cause or how long it would take. i wish the swiss option was easier but i'd hate to go through the whole application process. fly halfway around the world for a mental evaluation. sit around waiting for a response (being highly more anxious the whole time). then if given the green light, have to make that trip again. i have difficulty walking down the street let alone make it to the airport and find my way to the terminal. by this time, maybe the illness would already take me and i've paid them to do nothing.

i wonder if there are any guides out there that'll increase your chances of getting a terminal disease. unfortunately, my family seems to be fairly healthy.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Well terminally and seriously ill, that may not be a peaceful process, may end up in the ICU and machines prolonging life. I guess it would really depend but probably I would consider an early CTB before I can't do it any more.

 

[todiefor]

Assuming to die is still your aim, then I would either ctb earlier before any pain sets in, having more conviction with the ctb since you will die anyway, or I would use the terminal illness status to apply for legal assisted suicide, but knowing that could probably take a while etc so should start the process early. Even if the illness is terminal you wouldn't want to rely on the illness as your way to death since it will undoubtedly be painful way to go.

 

[SadPingu]

If I had a terminal illness I'd use Dignitas

 

[irie]

depends, if it was going to be slow and painful i'd probably just ctb earlier. not really worth waiting through all the pain for

keep us updated if you're comfortable by the way! i hope things go well for you

 

[CW36]

For me it would only bring that CTB date forward. It would add as an extra incentive, cause I always wanted to go on my own terms.

 

[Sweet Tart]

Well terminally and seriously ill, that may not be a peaceful process, may end up in the ICU and machines prolonging life. I guess it would really depend but probably I would consider an early CTB before I can't do it any more.

For sure it would be complicated and not peaceful but in one way, a relief. The main reason I want to ctb is that I seem to have treatment resistant depression but my family puts constant pressure on me to "get better." They try to force me to follow idiotic suggestions or want me to keep changing psychiatrists. My mom and stepdad try to motivate me by making threats and harassing me, as if I am choosing to be depressed.

I really don't understand their mentality and probably it is nothing more than a pathological rationale for emotionally abusing me. If they just let me be, there's a slim chance I could recover from depression enough to be a functional person again. But the way things are now and for the forseeable future, it feels like I'm doomed. It would be nice for my family to know I'm going to die and just leave me alone about being depressed.

 

[Minsu]

It depends on the disease.. if I found out that I have cancer, I probably would write an email to dignitas immediately

 

[Praestat_Mori]

my family puts constant pressure on me to "get better." They try to force me to follow idiotic suggestions or want me to keep changing psychiatrists. My mom and stepdad try to motivate me by making threats and harassing me, as if I am choosing to be depressed.

This sucks and will not help at all. The problem is depression can't be seen, i mean a physical injury can be seen but not whats going on in someone's mind. I can understand that a terminal illness could have some "advantage" here. Still it's terribly sad.

PS: sorry for offtopic, but I like your avatar picture so much, this cat looks so cute!!! I just wanted to say this.

 

[todiefor]

This sucks and will not help at all. The problem is depression can't be seen, i mean a physical injury can be seen but not whats going on in someone's mind. I can understand that a terminal illness could have some "advantage" here. Still it's terribly sad.

PS: sorry for offtopic, but I like your avatar picture so much, this cat looks so cute!!! I just wanted to say this.

I'm sorry your family don't seem to understand the pain and suffering u go through, people really don't want to understand I guess, or maybe they just want u to be hopeful and hopefully it will go away, like praying away the gay or something terribly wrong and unhelpful.

Some times I wonder if there's a "visual aid" for people to see the depression, like if it is a hologram of a gaping wound or tumour or a horrific scene that they could relate to and if anyone asks u can just turn it on, and it's in their face, then I wonder if people can understand and empathise a little better. it wouldn't be very social friendly though lol, still wouldn't win any friends but maybe at least u can visually communicate how u feel

I also like the cat avatar pic!

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I don't even have access to a desirable, straightforward and guaranteed method so sadly I have no plans to leave in the near future but if I ended up with a terminal illness I would just hope that it quickly causes me to cease existing without much suffering.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I imagine you can possibly be terminally ill for years. If anything- honestly it would encourage me to get a method prepared in case it got to the point where I felt too unwell to cope with all that preperation. Still- if it was terminal illness that had been diagnosed- I would be looking into applying for assisted suicide but have a method prepared as a standby.

 

[ConstantPain]

I wish every day for a terminal illness. It would depend what it is and how much more pain I'd be in whether I'd still ctb or not. If it's a super painful condition then I think people understand ending it more. It would be a relief to get one because everyone thinks we're selfish for ctb'ing if "all we have" are mental illnesses but don't place blame usually if we get a physical illness. I think my family could deal with it easier than if I ctb for depression. The grief and guilt when people think they have any control ("I should have seen it coming and helped/intervened") is ridiculous but happens. If I die of leukemia, no one's going to say they should have done more or think they could have changed it. They'll still have grief but probably not guilt.
Also, it would be much easier to get SSDI than trying to get it for depression. My life would be much more tolerable if I didn't have to work.

 

[jemetire]

I think I would apply for euthanasia (I live in the Netherlands)

 

[busybee]

I would wait as long as I can and plan my funeral but prepare ctb options since the illness on the long run would probably hurt a lot more than ctb.

 

[Lavender Dreams]

Depends, but I would struggle to resist potentially being slowly overdosed on opioids for pain relief because it sounds like a guaranteed peaceful death. I suppose there is less complications too, as people get to grieve suicide a bit differently.

With that being said, if the pain got extreme the above can get in the bin because experience taught me I'll sip that sn like it's juice when suffering hits a 9/10.

 

[Wyldfyre4948]

Probably would not ctb if I had a year or less. My travel arrangements would've been taken care of at that point. It would give anyone I'm close to a chance to say their goodbyes. Better chance of a life insurance payout too. Less chance of anyone blaming themselves as well.

 

[SantasHelper]

I was about to post something like this.
I've been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer over a month ago. I feel a relief of peacefulness. But also melancholy that my time is truly limited and I didn't and can't appreciate my time here. But it does take off a lot of weight of CTB. My main concerns was how my CTB would affect my family and friends. If my cancer were to kill me, it would be less hurtful I think because that's truly something out of my control.

Hope this helps

 

[iLikeFrogs]

That would depend on how long I would have left and how painful would it be. I think I still would have ctb because ( I don't really know how to word it, English isn't my first language sorry) if I didn't it would mean that the pain I've gone through was unnecessary and people around me will never acknowledge it.

 

[Gonnerr]

That would be nice , since i live in a place where its becoming number 1 in the world for assisted suicide. I wish for that.

 

[Sweet Tart]

Some times I wonder if there's a "visual aid" for people to see the depression, like if it is a hologram of a gaping wound or tumour or a horrific scene that they could relate to and if anyone asks u can just turn it on, and it's in their face, then I wonder if people can understand and empathise a little better. it wouldn't be very social friendly though lol, still wouldn't win any friends but maybe at least u can visually communicate how u feel

I agree that people have trouble empathizing with depression because it's invisible except for behaviors that tend to already have negative associations. I think your idea for a visual aid representing depression in physical form would make really useful tool and I can see it as an awesome art installation!