Hello,
Life's gotten pretty bland, and my life has been kind of a train wreck for as long as I can remember. The opportunities that I feel may take me out of this mentality, I don't believe will surface. I'm 27, graduated college last year, and now am living in the middle of nowhere I figured reaching out to the community on this website might provide some kind of support and understanding that I can't seem to find anywhere else.
You may be thinking, why not get a job man? Well, after 4 months of being shot down continuously for the career path I had studied for, I did manage to land a job. Albeit, a terrible job. My coworkers were uneducated and hadn't had any previous work experience (and I mean nothing, like not even Mcdonalds), and the work was honestly humiliating and physically demanding. I've had plenty of jobs to put on my resume. During college, I was working three jobs to keep my head above water while tackling a pretty obnoxious course-load. A janitor, a customer service representative for my school, and an intern. I made nothing, sacrificed everything, and was no further ahead than before I had started school. I went to college in order to better my life because I found over-the-road trucking to be too isolating and just not a career that was fulfilling. Since quitting the trucking industry, I've lost all communication between those in my family and friends. No one calls, no one cares, just nothing. I haven't spoken to my mom in the better part of a year, and she refuses to speak with me. My days now are spent getting constantly rejected by jobs, perusing the internet for some kind of opportunity to better my life, and silence. I live in a cabin on a hill in a very small town with my step-dad (doesn't live with my mom, she bounced to Belize). He is the only person that I talk to now, and frankly, he can be a dick. I figure that if my life is going to play out in the way that I can see it currently going, then well, fuck this shit.
I have a psychiatrist appointment that I've been waiting a while for in two days. I'm honestly not sure how much it will help. I kind of think that my major depression/bipolar/bpd or whatever it is, is more a symptom of having an incredibly negative and stressful life rather than something that would be regardless of scenario. I'm just an outcast, people treat me like a leper. I'm buried in debt. No friends. No family. Just silence.
It'd be nice to chat with someone who might understand, or I don't know, just someone.
Thanks for reading a long-winded rant. Cheers
Life's gotten pretty bland, and my life has been kind of a train wreck for as long as I can remember. The opportunities that I feel may take me out of this mentality, I don't believe will surface. I'm 27, graduated college last year, and now am living in the middle of nowhere I figured reaching out to the community on this website might provide some kind of support and understanding that I can't seem to find anywhere else.
You may be thinking, why not get a job man? Well, after 4 months of being shot down continuously for the career path I had studied for, I did manage to land a job. Albeit, a terrible job. My coworkers were uneducated and hadn't had any previous work experience (and I mean nothing, like not even Mcdonalds), and the work was honestly humiliating and physically demanding. I've had plenty of jobs to put on my resume. During college, I was working three jobs to keep my head above water while tackling a pretty obnoxious course-load. A janitor, a customer service representative for my school, and an intern. I made nothing, sacrificed everything, and was no further ahead than before I had started school. I went to college in order to better my life because I found over-the-road trucking to be too isolating and just not a career that was fulfilling. Since quitting the trucking industry, I've lost all communication between those in my family and friends. No one calls, no one cares, just nothing. I haven't spoken to my mom in the better part of a year, and she refuses to speak with me. My days now are spent getting constantly rejected by jobs, perusing the internet for some kind of opportunity to better my life, and silence. I live in a cabin on a hill in a very small town with my step-dad (doesn't live with my mom, she bounced to Belize). He is the only person that I talk to now, and frankly, he can be a dick. I figure that if my life is going to play out in the way that I can see it currently going, then well, fuck this shit.
I have a psychiatrist appointment that I've been waiting a while for in two days. I'm honestly not sure how much it will help. I kind of think that my major depression/bipolar/bpd or whatever it is, is more a symptom of having an incredibly negative and stressful life rather than something that would be regardless of scenario. I'm just an outcast, people treat me like a leper. I'm buried in debt. No friends. No family. Just silence.
It'd be nice to chat with someone who might understand, or I don't know, just someone.
Thanks for reading a long-winded rant. Cheers
Last edited:
