Would anyone want to talk my decision through with me?

[helpsh]

Want to talk to someone about my decision, can be in the comments, to come to terms with it?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

What's your decision?

Nobody here can actually help you make the decision whether you should/should not CTB if that's what you want to talk through.

 

[hellworldprincess]

Want to talk to someone about my decision, can be in the comments, to come to terms with it?

Any decision you make is yours and yours alone.
But if you want to talk, my PMs are open. Or we could talk in this thread.

 

[helpsh]

Any decision you make is yours and yours alone.
But if you want to talk, my PMs are open. Or we could talk in this thread.

I didn't want anyone to make a decision for me I just want to talk things through about how I'm feeling and my thoughts

What's your decision?

Nobody here can actually help you make the decision whether you should/should not CTB if that's what you want to talk through.

That's not what I wanted

 

[hellworldprincess]

I didn't want anyone to make a decision for me I just want to talk things through about how I'm feeling and my thoughts

That's not what I wanted

How are you feeling and what are you thinking about right now?

 

[helpsh]

How are you feeling and what are you thinking about right now?

I feel ready because I can't see a way out of all the situations I'm in but I've been in them for so long and it'll never change.

I'm in my late twenties living with my parents due to debt, my parents are awful and caused me a lot of trauma but I can't afford to move out cause of debt (that I build up when using money as a coping mechanism) and the more I stay the more I want to indulge in addictive behaviours which keeps me in a cycle.

I'm in an abusive relationship I'm codependent on and it's made impossible for me to leave.

I have a good job but also severe autism where it makes me have anxiety attacks and embarrass myself regularly due to lack of confidence and not understanding situations. This is the best paying job I've had so I need it to help with the debt but it makes me hate myself and shows how incompetent and stupid I am.

I'm constantly making mistakes even when I'm careful and double checking things because my brain is so scattered and because of anxiety.

In an ideal world I would stay in a room by myself and never speak to anyone, but I'm forced to have to work, and my parents don't give me any privacy and treat me like a child.

I can't see a way out of it and think I'm not meant for this world. I have felt like this since I was 10 years old because I've always felt misplaced and I can't understand people or maintain healthy relationships, I always think I'm misunderstood and people are against me and I just come across so badly and don't understand so much.

 

[hellworldprincess]

I feel ready because I can't see a way out of all the situations I'm in but I've been in them for so long and it'll never change.

I'm in my late twenties living with my parents due to debt, my parents are awful and caused me a lot of trauma but I can't afford to move out cause of debt (that I build up when using money as a coping mechanism) and the more I stay the more I want to indulge in addictive behaviours which keeps me in a cycle.

I'm in an abusive relationship I'm codependent on and it's made impossible for me to leave.

I have a good job but also severe autism where it makes me have anxiety attacks and embarrass myself regularly due to lack of confidence and not understanding situations. This is the best paying job I've had so I need it to help with the debt but it makes me hate myself and shows how incompetent and stupid I am.

I'm constantly making mistakes even when I'm careful and double checking things because my brain is so scattered and because of anxiety.

In an ideal world I would stay in a room by myself and never speak to anyone, but I'm forced to have to work, and my parents don't give me any privacy and treat me like a child.

I can't see a way out of it and think I'm not meant for this world. I have felt like this since I was 10 years old because I've always felt misplaced and I can't understand people or maintain healthy relationships, I always think I'm misunderstood and people are against me and I just come across so badly and don't understand so much.

I'm so sorry for the situation you're in and I hope you have some coping mechanics to ease your pain even if it only helps only for a minute or two.

If you are able to get some kind of professional help I would obviously suggest you seek it. But if that's out of the question I understand.

Are there any support networks for neurodivergent people in your community? Are there support groups for people in abusive relationships? Can you ask anyone who's also struggling with mental health issues for advice?

I'm sorry if I recommended anything you've already tried. I know that nothing has a 100% chance of helping you get into a better situation, but I think that you're a person who may be in a very bad place who still might make it. Even if the odds are against you. Even if your survival is based purely in spite.

I know that a job is nothing to really hold onto in bad circumstances, but if it's a 'good job' maybe you can use your financial freedom to get away from some of the things you're struggling with by moving or something.

If you feel weak right now, I want you to know that you can be strong. If you feel hopeless, maybe there's something you haven't tried. If you've tried everything, I hope you're certain about that.

Making mistakes is okay. Suicide is only the last resort.

PM me if you want to talk more openly about everything.

 

[helpsh]

I'm so sorry for the situation you're in and I hope you have some coping mechanics to ease your pain even if it only helps only for a minute or two.

If you are able to get some kind of professional help I would obviously suggest you seek it. But if that's out of the question I understand.

Are there any support networks for neurodivergent people in your community? Are there support groups for people in abusive relationships? Can you ask anyone who's also struggling with mental health issues for advice?

I'm sorry if I recommended anything you've already tried. I know that nothing has a 100% chance of helping you get into a better situation, but I think that you're a person who may be in a very bad place who still might make it. Even if the odds are against you. Even if your survival is based purely in spite.

I know that a job is nothing to really hold onto in bad circumstances, but if it's a 'good job' maybe you can use your financial freedom to get away from some of the things you're struggling with by moving or something.

If you feel weak right now, I want you to know that you can be strong. If you feel hopeless, maybe there's something you haven't tried. If you've tried everything, I hope you're certain about that.

Making mistakes is okay. Suicide is only the last resort.

PM me if you want to talk more openly about everything.

Thanks for replying I have tried all of your suggestions unfortunately xx

 

[hellworldprincess]

Thanks for replying I have tried all of your suggestions unfortunately xx

I'm sorry. I hope you are able to go in peace.

 

[helpsh]

I'm sorry. I hope you are able to go in peace.

Me too