Story Worst dream I’ve had in awhile…

[TRIXI3]

This dream has nothing to do with ctb, I just found it very depressing and when I woke up I wanted to burst out crying so badly. The whole premise of the dream was that I was going to go spend some time with my now declared "friend" of an ex that I have talked about on here before… apparently in the dream it was supposed to be a special occasion, and so naturally we had friends over (people that I don't actually know in real life, just made up faces to help develop the dream I suppose) and I told myself in the dream that I would not start a scene in front of them. We were sitting there and we were having a good time, but I had this empty feeling sitting beside the person I used to love the most in this whole world. The night is over now and somehow my dad enters the picture, and out of nowhere I started getting upset, I can't remember how it got to that point, but I can just remember my dad telling me in the dream what I've heard him say many times in real life about "you were just his play toy, get over him" or something along those lines, and I got really upset and started going OFF on my ex about all the things he did wrong to me during our relationship and how he just left me like he said he wouldn't. I ended up getting on my knees in front of him in the dream, crying to him and pleading with him about how I knew he texted one of my friends talking about how I wasn't the one that was ready for a relationship with him again (yes, that actually happened irl), and about how I've BEEN ready since the day we broke up to continue things with him and how he was all I ever wanted. He began to cry, and he told me that he is indeed ready to continue our relationship, we embraced each other as we sat and cried together, and I woke up.

I felt the deepest pain in my heart waking up and realizing it wasn't real. It felt so real. I just want that to be real.

I just don't understand how I'm supposed to continue on life without him, how I could ever love someone else. I really wanted it to be him and with every passing day I can't help but question if I'll ever be able to get him back. I feel so stupid that I lost him in the first place and I'm just so broken.

He was so beautiful in my dream, just as beautiful as I remember him.

 

[iamalreadydead]

1:1 experience I had a couple weeks ago. I'm sorry. it hurts so bad, I empathize

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be awful waking up from that dream and realising that it's not true, I certainly see existence as being too cruel.

 

[Doss]

oh..