Worried I may be dying

[Sleepdrifter]

2 years ago I collapsed for no reason in public. Last year it was twice. Then there was the weird hangovers. I'm a heavy drinker and am used to a hangovers but they started to last several days. In October came the weird head sensations - really bad ones, pounding in my head, or sometimes the feeling of worms in my brain without pain. By December I couldn't tough it out any longer and started going to hospital. They are still processing the results from my emergency MRI scan. If they send me for a CT then that will be it. Cancer. Or it could even just be stress. But my head feels so bad. I just want to feel OK again.

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

I understand some of your pain. I had a biopsy yesterday and am now waiting for the results. They said 3-5 business days which would put the results sometime next week, but they have not met a single deadline so far with this thing, telling me that everthing is delayed because of covid. I don't doubt that they are running behind, but the waiting is a bitch.

 

[motel rooms]

I'm a heavy drinker .

I just want to feel OK again.

Sorry to be blunt, but that's not gonna happen if you keep drinking. I'm not judging you, my husband has a drinking problem too.

 

[Sleepdrifter]

I understand some of your pain. I had a biopsy yesterday and am now waiting for the results. They said 3-5 business days which would put the results sometime next week, but they have not met a single deadline so far with this thing, telling me that everthing is delayed because of covid.

It's frustrating isn't it, all the waiting. Even then they keep running tests. It took two months for them just to start prescribing medication. All the while my condition was deteriorating. I suppose they are doing their best though.

 

[ThriveOrDie]

I was never able to tolerate any alcohol and drugs would take forever to wear off. Like a Benadryl for example would wipe me out for a long time. It turned out I had non alcoholic fatty liver disease and gallbladder disease. My liver was too congested to flush out toxins. Given your history I'm sure your liver is not healthy but there could be other things going on. Liver problems will cause fatigue. I'm not sure what the feeling of worms in the brain would be.

 

[Sleepdrifter]

Sorry to be blunt, but that's not gonna happen if you keep drinking. I'm not judging you, my husband has a drinking problem too.

Alcohol has been the main thing that has made life bearable. Without it there's nothing left. Not even music, video games, etc helps me cope anymore. I can't keep drinking because the hangovers last a week, I can't stop because there's no way to deal with reality. They need to deal with this issue so I can be drunk. Or put me on morphine or something

I was never able to tolerate any alcohol and drugs would take forever to wear off. Like a Benadryl for example would wipe me out for a long time. It turned out I had non alcoholic fatty liver disease and gallbladder disease. My liver was too congested to flush out toxins. Given your history I'm sure your liver is not healthy but there could be other things going on

Interesting. With alcohol your tolerance tends to increase until your liver starts going that's for sure. Never heard of gallbladder disease. My blood tests don't indicate organ failure and I'm on antibiotics. They are not making me feel better and the side effects are rough

 

[motel rooms]

Alcohol has been the main thing that has made life bearable. Without it there's nothing left. Not even music, video games, etc helps me cope anymore. I can't keep drinking because the hangovers last a week, I can't stop because there's no way to deal with reality.

If you can't stop drinking heavily, you're in for an excruciating slow death.

 

[Sleepdrifter]

If you can't stop drinking heavily, you're in for an excruciating slow death.

Could be too late for that. I nearly did November entirely sober and spent most of this month clean. It was horrible and I felt terrible. So I go back to drinking but it feels so bad now. I'm finished with this bullshit life I don't want to go on

 

[Crazy4u]

do you mind sharing how much you drink and what you drink everyday? you can post a week time here.

no judgments. I don't like alcohol and drinking is not a thing for me! However, I started drinking in October 2021, and stopped 2 weeks ago. I found that switching from high ABV to low ABV drinks helped me stop slowly. I don't think you can go from heavy drinking to no drinking at once. Baby steps

If you are not comfortable that is ok too. I hope you can recover

 

[Sleepdrifter]

do you mind sharing how much you drink and what you drink everyday? you can post a week time here.

Roughly a few litres of lager, once every few nights to a week. Done it the last 10 years with the occasional break. It's how I've coped with isolation and life in general, I have no friends or family at all
Drank a similar amount 24 hours ago. Should be fine but it feels worse than when I woke up and my head is killing me. I can't drink water or eat anything. Might go to the hospital

 

[Crazy4u]

Roughly a few litres of lager, once every few nights to a week. Done it the last 10 years with the occasional break. It's how I've coped with isolation and life in general, I have no friends or family at all
Drank a similar amount 24 hours ago. Should be fine but it feels worse than when I woke up and my head is killing me. I can't drink water or eat anything. Might go to the hospital

yeah please go to the hospital. I hope you feel better soon

 

[GentleJerk]

Hopefully they can at least give you some more info about what could be the problem, its rough feeling something is wrong but not knowing or having your worries addressed.

I agree that alcohol is not going to be making things better for you, i'm sorry that things are so tough that you have had to resort to drinking in order to cope. I'm lucky I have never been fond of booze, I have a best friend who is very badly addicted to alcohol and it's heartbreaking to see what it does to people.

I hope you can find some answers and the strength to get better, wishing you all the very best.

 

[Sleepdrifter]

Hopefully they can at least give you some more info about what could be the problem, its rough feeling something is wrong but not knowing or having your worries addressed.

I agree that alcohol is not going to be making things better for you, i'm sorry that things are so tough that you have had to resort to drinking in order to cope. I'm lucky I have never been fond of booze, I have a best friend who is very badly addicted to alcohol and it's heartbreaking to see what it does to people.

I've had an alcohol problem for some time but my recent deterioration plus the antibiotics have not been easy. Yesterday I didn't sleep, drink or eat at all for 24 hours. Have only managed some fluids today. Couldn't reach the hospital.

Booze creeps up on you and changes your mind about things. It's funny, how everything in my psychology is designed towards drinking. So when I complain about relationships or anything.. yes things have been rough but isn't that a coincidence how the solution is always a bottle.

Going to throw out everything I have left again. But that, the drunk diary, setting goals, support groups, nothings worked. My plan from now is to accept and concentrate on that. If every action I take leads back to alcohol then I need to stop and work from there instead. If I can't live sober that's a problem.

 

[ThriveOrDie]

I've had an alcohol problem for some time but my recent deterioration plus the antibiotics have not been easy. Yesterday I didn't sleep, drink or eat at all for 24 hours. Have only managed some fluids today. Couldn't reach the hospital.

Booze creeps up on you and changes your mind about things. It's funny, how everything in my psychology is designed towards drinking. So when I complain about relationships or anything.. yes things have been rough but isn't that a coincidence how the solution is always a bottle.

Going to throw out everything I have left again. But that, the drunk diary, setting goals, support groups, nothings worked. My plan from now is to accept and concentrate on that. If every action I take leads back to alcohol then I need to stop and work from there instead. If I can't live sober that's a problem.

Antibiotics will mess you up too. I would take a high dose probiotic if you can afford it. Antibiotics usually make me either have really bad intestinal pain or I can't hold food down, I get allergic to all foods etc.

 

[Sleepdrifter]

Antibiotics will mess you up too. I would take a high dose probiotic if you can afford it. Antibiotics usually make me either have really bad intestinal pain or I can't hold food down, I get allergic to all foods etc.

Thanks for reminding me. I was thinking of picking up something like that