Resource “Without the idea of suicide I would have surely killed myself” Emil Cioran

[seritonin_superstar]

"Without the idea of suicide I would have surely killed myself" -Emil Cioran

I relate to this quote heavily. The quote is very paradoxical but I feel it means that sometimes what makes life bearable is the thought that we can escape from it. If we were trapped in existence without any escape, life would be unbearable.

i often look at my suicidal ideation as a coping mechanism or even an addiction. It's very similar to substance abuse for me because I use the thought of suicide to escape a painful reality just like I do with substances.

Part of me wants to stop thinking of suicide because I know it is not making me any happier and is only a temporary escape from suffering. I want a lasting feeling of being content in this life and thinking of and planning my suicide is not giving it to me.

Then another part of me doesn't want to go through the struggle of recovery from mental illness and substance abuse problems. I just want to end things and finally be at peace. Sure I'll be missing out on a possible life filled with joy, but at least I won't have to go through years of recovery just to feel happy on a daily basis. I have already been through residentials and rehabs, countless therapists, and other alternative treatments. It's so much work to get better and thinking about suicide is such an easy band aid to put over my problems.

Side note: if you are heavily depressed (which is pretty much all of us I'm guessing haha) read "the trouble with being born" by Emil cioran. It's very easy to stomach because it's more of a quote book than a full length novel so perfect for people without the willpower or attention span to read for long periods of time. I relate to so many things he says in that book and I think you will too.

Side side note: interestingly enough Cioran isn't pro suicide even though his writings talk about it in excess and he tends to talk on the more negative side of things. I could go into detail on why he isnt pro suicide but I wouldn't do it justice. Go watch videos on him and read his works and you'll find some interesting new tales on life.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do think that it can be a relief for many people, knowing that there is an escape from this life and that they are not forced to suffer. Ctb is very difficult for me personally, but the thought of non existence is comforting, knowing that eventually I will be free from this life no matter what. This life really is so tiring and I know that it is hard to carry on when you suffer so much. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[deomlez]

cioran "without suicide concept, i would have always killed myself" (my own translation, i m french- but not Cioran btw - even though he wrote in french)
In french "je ne vis que parce qu'il est en mon pouvoir de mourir quand bon me semblera : sans l idee du suicide, je me serais tué depuis toujours"
It's stg i have read here from some people, but i can t understand it. It s a judgement on my own, and i beg my pardon to e.o. it can hurt, but it's hypocritical, no ? As a spin to go on living based on an argument that s just smoke and mirrors... Or you are afraid of dead, and it s ok, or no, but saying that, it s like you fear but you are not honnest enough with yourself to admit it.

Side note : the "depuis toujours" disturbs me. Sounds very pretentious, in line with my previous words.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I live for my suicide date: it's the only thing that gets me through the day.
Also thoughts of myself dying comfort me like nothing else can.

 

[deomlez]

I live for my suicide date: it's the only thing that gets me through the day.
Also thoughts of myself dying comfort me like nothing else can.

It's different. Cioran says I live because I'm free to die. You say : i know i will die at the date i have decided and it helps me to live.
Or perhaps it s my interpretation ?

 

[The anhedonic one]

It's different. Cioran says I live because I'm free to die. You say : i know i will die at the date i have decided and it helps me to live.
Or perhaps it s my interpretation ?

I think they are similar. It's just that I've set a date as opposed to just living, knowing I'm free to die.

 

[charlotte_]

Sometimes I like to think of death as a reward that is granted to you after all the suffering you've gone through. After all chaos, noises and pain, you will finally be at complete peace. Death is like a comfy old home waiting for you at the end of your tiring journey through life, a place where you no longer have to care about anything else. It certainly is a comforting thought.

 

[Valky]

Sometimes I like to think of death as a reward that is granted to you after all the suffering you've gone through. After all chaos, noises and pain, you will finally be at complete peace. Death is like a comfy old home waiting for you at the end of your tiring journey through life, a place where you no longer have to care about anything else. It certainly is a comforting thought.

That is a really beautiful conception of death :)

 

[deomlez]

... but it scares me, as every mention to a place or a state after death... if I was sure there was stg after death, whatever it could be, I d feel desesparate... luckily I m unable to believe in anything, God, Paradise or Hell and any f***ing bullshit.

 

[ger3172]

thank you for sharing this! i was thinking about starting to get into ciorans work and now ill definitely do it