Wish to disappear

[Ghastly]

I was hoping to start a discussion of what feels to me an insincere wish to die, instead I'm intent on disappearing. Like I want to melt into the walls. Not necessarily kill myself though they are inseparable ideas. It's anyone else not fully for killing themselves and instead it's more of an escape


Well I suppose that's all of us here

 

[LMLN]

I think that's how it started for me. I then started to wish i would die in an accident. Then I wished I would fall asleep and not wake up. It then progressed into active planning and a strong desire to do something about my desire to disappear. So passive suicidal thoughts into active planning. Then attempts.

 

[Ghastly]

Our more relevantly give me this virus and let me die haha

I think that's how it started for me. I then started to wish i would die in an accident. Then I wished I would fall asleep and not wake up. It then progressed into active planning and a strong desire to do something about my desire to disappear. So passive suicidal thoughts into active planning. Then attempts.

Yes I have a similar experience, I want to drift away now, constantly hope for an accident

 

[faust]

Now everything started for me as a desire to run away so that nobody would know where I am. But if I manage to escape from everybody and everything, it does not mean I can escape from myself, my mental illness and thoughts about vanity of existence.

 

[squirtsoda]

Desire to vaporize into thin air. Like in the tv show Fringe. I'm here in this universe and I don't want to be. Instead I'll allow my counterpart in the parallel universe to keep living. I have that feeling it just wasn't my time to be alive. There probably would be a good time, but this is not it.

 

[Ghastly]

Or become a puddle

 

[Empty Smile]

If my next attempt fails, I will disappear, deep into the woods. Then I'll leave it to mother nature take me whenever she's ready.

 

[Ghastly]

If my next attempt fails, I will disappear, deep into the woods. Then I'll leave it to mother nature take me whenever she's ready.

Yes it's just a feeling of release like when you unfurl your brow that you hadn't realized was tense. Or when you turn off the air conditioner in the morning. A welcome and astonishing silence

 

[faust]

Yes it's just a feeling of release like when you unfurl your brow that you hadn't realized was tense. Or when you turn off the air conditioner in the morning. A welcome and astonishing silence

It feels like you return home after wandering for so long

 

[highlyvolatile]

I was hoping to start a discussion of what feels to me an insincere wish to die, instead I'm intent on disappearing. Like I want to melt into the walls. Not necessarily kill myself though they are inseparable ideas. It's anyone else not fully for killing themselves and instead it's more of an escape


Well I suppose that's all of us here

You are expressing what I've been feeling for so long. Ive told people close to me before that I want to disappear. Its one of the strongest things that I have been feeling. Just this desire to not exist. To not be here just *poof* im gone. I thought moving would help but i just hate it. I want to run away throw away my phone and live off the grid. I'm not sure if that's the disappearance that I'm seeking but i want to not have to think about myself. Id donate everything i ever owned if it meant having a chance at escaping all this.

Or become a puddle

becoming a puddle would also be really nice.

But the thing i feel the most constantly is I want to disappear i want to disappear i want to disappear and i wish i knew why its the loudest thingbthat resonates with ne now.