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Lost Magic

Lost Magic

Illuminated
May 5, 2020
3,200
I know most of us on here are suicidal but how many of you think you will actually go through with it or just ruminate over catching the bus? I mean I know of people (close family members) who wanted to die at points in their lives and tried to kill themselves (in violent ways) but still managed to live to fairly old age. Thoughts?

Season 4 Cbc GIF
 
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Huntfish34

Huntfish34

Enlightened
Mar 13, 2020
1,619
I'd Prefer to have an accidental or natural death. I suppose it just depends on how shitt my life becomes or if something just triggers me out of impulse. Time will tell I reckon -
 
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Tortured_empath

Tortured_empath

Arcanist
Apr 7, 2019
487
I'm not sure. I walk a line. I'd prefer if people here lived.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,276
I do not know what will happen. All I want is to pass away peacefully at a time of my own choosing, but I am trapped in this world as suicide is so difficult, we do not live in a society that respects our right to die. Maybe eventually I will get desperate enough to finally exit when the time is right for me. I do not want to live until an old age, that sounds so horrible, suffering for many more decades.
 
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jimmy7754

jimmy7754

I just want to be myself again
Dec 15, 2021
508
I just want it to end.. but fear of being worse off for another decade is what stops me.
 
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Lost Magic

Lost Magic

Illuminated
May 5, 2020
3,200
I do not know what will happen. All I want is to pass away peacefully at a time of my own choosing, but I am trapped in this world as suicide is so difficult, we do not live in a society that respects our right to die. Maybe eventually I will get desperate enough to finally exit when the time is right for me. I do not want to live until an old age, that sounds so horrible, suffering for many more decades.
The old age part frightens me as well tbh. I mean I have already lived a considerably long time and lost a lot already. I couldn't image the hell of living another 40 years or so. Fuck that!
 
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A

arnab

Student
Mar 9, 2022
120
I think living and risking dying by a car crash or another slow death would suck hard compared to just taking N - if N really is peaceful and our conciseness isn't aware during the death part of N.

I think natural death in sleep of old age is comparable to N. But not heart attack or stroke . I think that hurts. Bad.

I pray to God that N is peaceful
We deserve dignity
 
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Lost Magic

Lost Magic

Illuminated
May 5, 2020
3,200
I think living and risking dying by a car crash or another slow death would suck hard compared to just taking N - if N really is peaceful and our conciseness isn't aware during the death part of N.

I think natural death in sleep of old age is comparable to N. But not heart attack or stroke . I think that hurts. Bad.

I pray to God that N is peaceful
We deserve dignity
That's all I want too, Arnab, mate. I just want to drink the N (get over the taste somehow and SI) go to sleep and forget this reality.


tired mad hatter GIF by Gotham
 
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A

arnab

Student
Mar 9, 2022
120
That's all I want too, Arnab, mate. I just want to drink the N (get over the taste somehow and SI) go to sleep and forget this reality.


tired mad hatter GIF by Gotham
Our brain can't conceptualise eternal death. Remember that brother. Darkness will engulf us .
 
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H

Hollowman

Empty
Dec 14, 2021
1,755
You forgot being murdered
 
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A

arnab

Student
Mar 9, 2022
120
You forgot being murdered
Yeah, that can be even worse than those I mentioned. Imagine being tortured to death.

I watched this video of a girl about 15 years old held up by 10 Mexican guys cutting her limbs off one by one until they finally slith her throat.
God I can't stop hearing that scream

And then I see a fucking parent on the street and I swear I want to strangle them man.

I quote someone on here Ss that was an antinatlist and he said "2 negative points weigh more than 1 positive " and that's true about life
 
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Nanako

Nanako

Experienced
Dec 24, 2018
289
Imagine dying slowly and painfully in a horrific accident due to circumstances outside your control.
 
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Al Cappella

Al Cappella

Are we there yet?
Feb 2, 2022
888
I honestly don't know. Accidental croaking seems unlikely as I really don't do very much putting myself in harm's way. At the moment suicide seems the higher probability. Then again, I've already had a mini-stroke & minor heart attack, and all the men die young in my family (father 59, grandfather 69) so who knows…
 
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S

Someone123

Illuminated
Oct 19, 2021
3,875
I thnk ctb will be the way now, I was too late in figuring out how to get ,y life to work- there was so much much abuse for so long and I didn't figure out the right steps that were needed until too late. Almost 3% of American men ctb sooner or later- I'll most likely be in that group.
 
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I

ilivebecuzicantdie

Member
Mar 6, 2022
18
I don't really know. I want to be the one who chooses when I die but also commiting suicide is hard so may end up dying an accidental or natural death
 
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Sea Turtle

Sea Turtle

She/Her ✨ Achieving True Peace
Aug 12, 2020
346
I feel like it's inevitable that I will die by my own hand. Even if I somehow survived and was "happy" or at least content, I don't foresee a future in which I enjoy being old, with all the limitations and health issues.
 
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A

arnab

Student
Mar 9, 2022
120
Imagine dying slowly and painfully in a horrific accident due to circumstances outside your control.
Yeah, like bleeding out in a car crash wouldn't be fun
 
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T

tatumtots

Member
Dec 10, 2021
16
I do a lot of things to "accidentally" get killed. The drug supply around me is heavily tainted with fentanyl and sometimes I wish I'd get the bad batch. This doesn't seem to be happening anytime soon unless I get actual heroin so I ordered SN instead. Dying in a car crash would be easier for my family to deal with I think but it sounds so painful, I want to ctb on my own terms and go peacefully.
 
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S

Symbiote

Illuminated
Oct 12, 2020
3,099
I've done enough damage to my body that I'll probably die young of natural causes.
 
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Murasa

Murasa

"The Great Little Captain"
Dec 3, 2020
1,756
At this point I think I'll die from an accident or my body will say "lol that's it", not because I want to, I've just racked up enough failed attempts. so I can say I suck even to kill myself.
 
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genericuser

genericuser

Student
Feb 9, 2022
140
I want to die by my own hands. I'd have complete control and it'd hopefully be comfortable and painless.
 
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T

tieiwi

Experienced
Dec 11, 2021
240
I know that I'll commit suicide sooner or later. I cant see myself living to 30, definitely not my 50s either. Or I'll just get so mentally tired that I'll stop caring about my well being and die from that.
 
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tfnb

tfnb

Member
May 29, 2023
73
When I was younger I had a few failed attempts. After having my first child that luxury was taken away as I became responsible for trying to be valuable to them. Now I just periodically fantasize about it
 
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Angel of Spades

Angel of Spades

barely keeping it together
May 23, 2023
86
If I can get my hands on something, I'd definitely CTB. I don't enjoy the idea of an accidental death, because I feel like I would panic and it wouldn't be something that I get to control. The whole point of CTB-ing for me is that I'd like to have some control over how I leave this world, since I didn't get any say over being put into it.

Accidental death would mean that everything would happen all at once and I wouldn't really have the chance to have any say over it: I wouldn't be able to tell the people I love that I love them, I wouldn't be able to leave my things exactly where I want them, etc. I guess natural death falls under the same category, but I'd be okay with it because natural causes tend to be a little slower than accidental causes, and so I'd still have some time to plan and re-organize.

But, if I make it past college graduation, then I'd probably stop seriously considering CTB-ing; it really depends how the rest of my life plays out.
 
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EternalDaydreaming

EternalDaydreaming

Member
May 27, 2023
29
Either suicide or drinking myself to death
 
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B

brokeandbroken

Enlightened
Apr 18, 2023
1,179
Right now it's probably 90% CTB 10% evenly split between the other two. I don't see much chance my life improves in any reasonable or manageable way that makes me want to keep soldiering on.
 
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charlotte_

charlotte_

Arcanist
Mar 12, 2023
435
I hope I could die by my own hands, when I have the means to do it. Then, the control will be under my hands and the pain will be brief. Any kinds of external deaths are pure chance on whether you would get a peaceful death or a horrible gruesome one, but more often than not it would be gruesome. I don't want that to happen, but as long as I'm still a coward fearful of pain then I can't really ask for anything. Certainly would not want to grow old and suffer with diseases, so not gonna stay there until natural cause.
 
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Pidgeons_Sparrows

Pidgeons_Sparrows

-flying rat
Apr 16, 2023
625
ctb 100%
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,745
I wish for a natural death while sleeping every evening, but this is very unlikely to happen. Unless my life changes positive again, it will be CTB when I reached the final point of no return and all hopes gone.
 

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