SomewhatLoved

SomewhatLoved

Bringing out the Dead and Searching for the Living
Apr 12, 2023
145
Are you planning on leaving a note?

I've been suicidal for over a decade now, and I guess it's always felt like a given to me. However, recently I sat down to try and write one in preparation and it just feels frustrating. I feel like I'm trying to explain a world that make no sense to me. Part of me now just wants to leave a very short one, or not one at all.
 
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mapleboy

mapleboy

sleepy...
May 22, 2023
83
The people closest to me would know why I CTB'd, a note wouldn't be needed. Plus I feel like it would add to their guilt of not being there while I was writing it. Maybe writing down some final thoughts in a private journal to clear your head in preparation would be helpful.
 
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Dark Window

Dark Window

Forest Wanderer
Mar 12, 2024
548
The only real reason to leave a note is if there's anyone you care about and you want to make them understand and feel better.

People often feel guilt when someone they care about CTB's. Help them with that
 
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gorexzxz

gorexzxz

Member
Apr 13, 2024
50
Personally no. People will make up their mind and either tell lies about how they couldn't believe it happen, or how they wish they had a chance to help. Yet right now I'm alive and they aren't coming to help me. I'm gonna let them decide at the end of the day I wont be dealing with it.
 
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S

silence ends

Student
Jan 10, 2023
121
Short one, one sentence with my apologies.
 
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Metalhead

Metalhead

Born slippy
Sep 21, 2020
206
I write about my struggles a lot & I hope that helps those left behind understand somewhat.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,945
Yes I would if I had the option to peacefully and reliably die on my own terms, I'd explain that permanent non-existence is all I wished for and explain that suicide is rational for me to escape from the evil that is existence.
 
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LunarLight

LunarLight

i'm a loser, a failure
Apr 3, 2024
1,371
Yes, to my partner. I think they would need it for closure.
 
S

Sullun

Member
Jul 5, 2020
74
What advice would you give for leaving a note? If it were up to me I'd rather not leave one but I just think I owe it to my parents as they're not bad people and none of this is their fault. I want to assure them it's not their fault and it was always going to happen. Depression is like a fucking cancer and this is just the final, fatal symptom. There was nothing they did to cause or could have done to stop it. It's nobody's fault
 
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everythingoes

everythingoes

maybe someday
Oct 2, 2023
290
Yes, a short one for my family just to say I'm sorry and answer a few questions they might have because I know how distressing it is not having answers and I don't want to put them through that. I mean, I know they'll hurt and wonder regardless, but if I can give them even a tiny peace of mind, I'll do it. I just don't want them to blame themselves too much... even though they are also to blame for how I turned out, but I'd rather not twist the knife in their wound. I don't think it will be a physical note though, but a scheduled email most likely.
 
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B

bipbapbop

Experienced
Mar 7, 2024
276
I want to say no but likely I will leave one and it will simply say

I am sorry but I cannot live in this pain any longer. I love you.

Mostly because i have been very open to my family about my pain and they are trying to help me work thru it. It would not be a surprise and they are already working together to try and help me.
 
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billie

billie

sad and suicidal
Mar 31, 2024
411
I don't know if I'll leave a note
 
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J

JamieD

Member
Feb 28, 2021
50
Honestly no I won't. I don't have family that I am leaving behind......they all walked away when Mum died and they never accepted me from the day I was adopted. I have already made provisions with a close friend regarding my wishes and I trust them to carry them out. I look forward to non exisitance....
Honestly no I won't. I don't have family that I am leaving behind......they all walked away when Mum died and they never accepted me from the day I was adopted. I have already made provisions with a close friend regarding my wishes and I trust them to carry them out. I look forward to non exisitance....
 
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DyingToDie123

DyingToDie123

she/her
Oct 25, 2023
385
With my early attempts I did, but I grew tired of it with the more recent ones, since I just assume I'm going to fail anyway. There's also not much left for me to say.
 
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divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2024
3,292
Yes, cause people often blame themselves if someone ctb they feel guilty like they could have done more . My letter would say there was nothing anyone could have done and it was my choice
 
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T

thenamingofcats

annihilation anxiety
Apr 19, 2024
453
Personally I won't, my reasons are too complicated.

This girl apparently wrote 3 notes although they're quoted differently in different sources. This article says one said:

"For those who loved me: don't mourn my death. Life is simply not for me."

Whether or not this was her actual note, if you can write like that you should absolutely consider leaving a note.
 
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3/4Dead

3/4Dead

Peace, Love, Empathy
Feb 27, 2024
413
Planning to leave a brief note, a few for individual people, and videos for individuals, and one on what to do with my stuff.
The heavier content will be in the note (ex. here's why, it's not your fault, I love you etc.) the videos will more than likely be filmed in my last few days and they'll just be my final thoughts; things i'd like to say to each individual person, so that they have something they can come back to if they miss me.
 
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golta

golta

Just wants more company
Apr 14, 2024
136
I will but in my phone, idk why but thats always been easier to me
 
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yxmux

yxmux

¥~¥
Apr 16, 2024
90
If I do ever CTB, then I plan on leaving quite a long note (have been working on it recently). More like a journal, just to make sure that there won't be any unanswered question. Plus, I'd like to bake in some of my personally into my final words. I have a very active mind, and it would put me at peace to have some written commentary left behind as well.
 
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J

JamieD

Member
Feb 28, 2021
50
If I do ever CTB, then I plan on leaving quite a long note (have been working on it recently). More like a journal, just to make sure that there won't be any unanswered question. Plus, I'd like to bake in some of my personally into my final words. I have a very active mind, and it would put me at peace to have some written commentary left behind as well.
You know I kinda like that idea of having some written commentary left behind. As a singer I do have recordings to leave but a special written piece would be powerful.
 

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