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3spiral

3spiral

⭒ ׅ ♪ ’’
Apr 22, 2026
35
I've been coming to realize more and more that the things that I feel are so far off from what everyone around me does. and that's why I'm never offered empathy when I'm the most vulnerable. the moment I can't do something I'm the stupid one and for some reason it's really cute to call me weird and make me feel disgusting when it would be mean to do so for other people. I don't see why would I deserve to live anymore
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Kanau_Nano, sadbh and LastDayOnEarth
J

Jadeith

Wizard
Jan 14, 2025
666
To answer the question in the title - no, it shouldn't be. If you feel like your current existence is not worth continuing and you do not wish to engage in any attempt to change that, you should be free to leave without any form of backlash.
I don't see why would I deserve to live anymore
I don't think there's such thing as "deserving to live". You got this life you were given without asking for it. It's not that you have to prove your worth to have it. You already got it and it's nobody's business to tell you if you deserve it or not. It's you and you alone who should decide if it's worth keeping or not. If you like it and/or want to do sth with it - ok, keep going. If it brings you nothing but suffering and you can't see any valid reason to go on - you should be allowed to leave without any stigma.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Kanau_Nano and 3spiral
3spiral

3spiral

⭒ ׅ ♪ ’’
Apr 22, 2026
35
To answer the question in the title - no, it shouldn't be. If you feel like your current existence is not worth continuing and you do not wish to engage in any attempt to change that, you should be free to leave without any form of backlash.

I don't think there's such thing as "deserving to live". You got this life you were given without asking for it. It's not that you have to prove your worth to have it. You already got it and it's nobody's business to tell you if you deserve it or not. It's you and you alone who should decide if it's worth keeping or not. If you like it and/or want to do sth with it - ok, keep going. If it brings you nothing but suffering and you can't see any valid reason to go on - you should be allowed to leave without any stigma.
how about the people that I know though. they didn't ask to meet me either
 
J

Jadeith

Wizard
Jan 14, 2025
666
how about the people that I know though. they didn't ask to meet me either
And you didn't ask to meet them either. It just happened. It might've brought some joy to some of them and to you and might've brought some negative emotions to parties involved. And the same will go with your departure. Those who liked or even loved you will suffer because of that. Those who didn't like you, might feel relief or even joy or just be indifferent. That's normal. We interact with others and leave some kind of mark on them and vice versa. That in any shape or form should not be a factor if you "deserve" living or not. You might take into consideration those feelings of others when deciding whether to leave or not but ultimately it should be your choice to consider them and yours alone. And you shouldn't be judged because of that choice.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 3spiral
Yuri440

Yuri440

sUwUcidal
Jun 3, 2023
28
I can't exactly speak for your situation really, I can at least share what I feel about it for myself and hopefully it'll help?

For me personally, I know that it'll likely hurt some people, and some people won't really care. Ultimately though, I'm choosing to ctb because I want to, because I feel like it's the best choice for me in my situation. I sometimes think I'm being selfish with it. Other times I think that other people are being selfish for wanting me to stay living when it hurts so much.

I don't know exactly how to word it, but I think it's my choice and while I appreciate that those around me who I value and listen to their opinions can have their own opinion on whether I should die or not, it's still my choice to go through with it. Sure it'll make them sad, but it'll also be an incredible relief for me and we should always do what we can to look after ourselves and not just try to cater to everyone else's expectations and emotions.

Not sure if what I've rambled about helps at all, but like Jadeith says, it should be your choice and no one else's. If you genuinely feel like ctb is the best option to you, then that's on you to make that choice. If you want your friends or family to weigh in with their thoughts so that you can make a decision based on that too, that's also your choice. Only you can make it, and only you should. Hopefully it helps <3
 

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